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Original poster

Were you very nervous on your wedding day?

90 replies

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:13

If so why?

I was reminded today of 2 weddings I attended where the brides were very visibly nervous waking down the aisle. Shaking, doing breathing exercises to calm themselves, and eyes filled with tears. Tbh it was quite weird to see. Both of the couples had been living together for a few years and one couple had a child already so it can’t have been nerves about the unknown, or first night nerves or leaving their parents homes. I could totally understand nerves if you’d never lived with your partner or had sex or lived away from home.

I’ve been to quite a few weddings and none of the others showed these kind of nerves.

Were you nervous on your wedding day? Can you shed any light?

OP posts:

zigaziga · 23/06/2020 18:16

I would imagine they were just nervous about the day.. would the food be ok and would everyone get on and would it rain and would the photos look ok and would the DJ turn up and and and ...?

RHRA · 23/06/2020 18:18

Maybe they’re introverted and the thought of all the guests eyes on them was making them nervous?

ExpectingatChristmas · 23/06/2020 18:22

I imagine they are nervous because regardless of any of those things they still may question if they are making the right decision. Particularly if they are the higher earn or have more assets so have more to lose if it goes wrong.

I get that children are a bigger commitment but most people never regret their children regardless of their relationship. Many people live to wish they never married.

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Weddings

Prayerwheel · 23/06/2020 18:24

Either they were terrified of being stared at (in which case one wants to point out that it's perfectly possible to marry quietly with two witnesses) or they were the kind of women who'd been brought up to think walking down the aisle was the pinnacle of their lives, the female equivalent of summiting Everest, in which case they were presumably thinking 'This is it! This is it! It's all downhill from here...'

IndieRo · 23/06/2020 18:26

No I wasn't nervous at all. I got married abroad with 9 guests, all close family. If I had a big wedding at home then yes I would have been rattling. I'm very shy and hate attention. I just couldn't wait to get it all over with tbh. DH were together 8 years when we got married and are now married 13 years.

WildOrchids67 · 23/06/2020 18:29

I felt absolutely fine until right before me and my dad walked down the aisle. Then I got a huge fit of the giggles......

ExpletiveDelighted · 23/06/2020 18:29

A bit, I didn't like the thought of everyone watching and listening (a small us plus two witnesses wedding would have caused a lot of family problems). It was fine once the speeches were over and no one was watching us any more. No first dance, I would have hated that.

Jazzled · 23/06/2020 18:30

First time - not at all. I knew I was making a huge mistake.

To current DH - I was really really nervous until I got there and then absolutely fine. I'm not sure why I was so nervous the day of, possibly because I'd said never ever ever again 🤷‍♀️

Pepperwand · 23/06/2020 18:30

I was one of those brides! It was simply because I hate being the centre of attention.... hated knowing that everyone was looking at me, would be commenting on the dress, the venue, the food (people do). So, it was simply shyness... I'd hate to think anyone thought it was because I was having second thoughts!

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:30

in which case they were presumably thinking 'This is it! This is it! It's all downhill from here...'

Oh that’s a horrible thought that they were thinking that!! I hope not. One of the women I know for sure is really happily married. Her husband is very nice and treats her like a queen.

I hadnt thought that they were nervous at being looked at by their guests. One of them is in performing arts so well used to an audience. Although maybe they idea of the whole show being about her was too overwhelming.

I don’t think it would have been nerves about the food and DJ etc. I don’t think that would have you almost hyperventilating whilst walking down the aisle.

OP posts:

flowershowerhalfanhour · 23/06/2020 18:31

I was very nervous - I'd just turned 22 and at that time I was still very 'young' in lots of ways, and quite insecure. I wanted our large group of family and friends to be with us for the day, but I felt really uncomfortable being the centre of attention in the way I was.

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:32

First time - not at all. I knew I was making a huge mistake.

OP posts:

Echobelly · 23/06/2020 18:32

Not really - I had to remember a longish phrase in Hebrew as we were doing the Jewish ceremony with the bride saying things (not just the groom, as traditional). I'm a trained singer so performed in public a lot, and to biggish crowds, so it wasn't a biggie for me.

wendywoopywoo222 · 23/06/2020 18:33

I got a fit of the giggles and laughed all the way through the service because the registrar was wearing a jacket the same orange as the curtains
I would of been nervous with a big wedding.

MushroomGloom · 23/06/2020 18:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

ComDummings · 23/06/2020 18:33

I was very nervous about the actual walking down the aisle and speaking in front of everyone. I was pacing and shaking all morning. I was not nervous in any way about the actual marriage or my partner.

MushroomGloom · 23/06/2020 18:34

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

peachgreen · 23/06/2020 18:34

I wasn't nervous but I cried buckets on my way down the aisle because a) I was so over the moon happy to be getting married to DH and b) it was overwhelming to see the people I loved most in one room. I didn't think I'd cry - in fact I told my dad I was fine minutes before I burst into tears! I was also shaking and trying to breathe deeply to calm myself down because I didn't want to ruin my make-up. But I definitely wasn't nervous!

Thirtyrock39 · 23/06/2020 18:35

I was terrified ! Think it was a combination of being overwhelmed something we had planned for ages was actually happening, being the centre of attention, some last minute petty squabbles between family , and we were the first of all our friends to get married so it was a bit fear of the unknown! As soon as I got to the altar I relaxed but the hour before and walking down the aisle was so scary. There had been a big accident on the m1 so loads of guests were late and running past me to their seats and some still joke about how I was stood waiting to go into church telling them all 'I am shitting myself'

WaynettaIsMyStyleIcon · 23/06/2020 18:35

I was nervous, as others have said, because I am shy and loathe being the centre of attention and a big white wedding was the last thing I wanted. Looking back, I had the day that H and his parents wanted (but never got because theirs was a ‘shotgun’ wedding) .

CherryPavlova · 23/06/2020 18:36

Terrified. Everyone staring so what if I tripped over. Lots of words to get right in public. What if he didn’t think I looked nice or hated my dress?
Hoping all our arrangements went smoothly. Fretting about the downpour.

I was committing to a lifetime together. It was a big deal. It still is.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 23/06/2020 18:37

Yes! It was a combination of things - the idea of being the centre of attention, not being able to be with DH (we went to the church separately), the growing realisation that I was desperate for a wee... I'm certain the guy who drove me to the church thought I was going to do a runner

StCharlotte · 23/06/2020 18:38

I'm a massive extravert and I adore being centre of attention but I was still nervous when I got married. No idea why. I got to the front of the church and my left leg was shaking madly (same as during my driving test ). I settled down fairly quickly and was determined to say my my vows in a loud clear voice. It was fairly emotional as my mother had died not long before (and my dad many years before that) and I was terrified I would start to cry (and never stop). Hmm. Maybe it was that.

Carolbaskinstiger · 23/06/2020 18:38

I wasn’t nervous but - I got married quite late in the day and I found the juxtaposition of being in a room getting ready with my bridesmaids etc - all informal to suddenly being in front of everyone a bit of a weird feeling.
If you’re quite a shy person I think it could make you very nervous.

bookmum08 · 23/06/2020 18:39

A marriage ceremony is essentially a play with a specific script and the bride and the groom the stars of the show. The bride even more of a star because she's has to make a big dramatic entrance.
I am not an actress. Never had any desire to be. I definitely don't want to be any star of the show.
We had 16 people at my marriage ceremony. That was 13 more than I would of liked (would of prefered just the two witnesses plus our 3 year old).
The thought of having one of those Mumsnet style massive weddings with 100 or so people staring at me.... I shudder even thinking about it.

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