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Original poster

Were you very nervous on your wedding day?

90 replies

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:13

If so why?

I was reminded today of 2 weddings I attended where the brides were very visibly nervous waking down the aisle. Shaking, doing breathing exercises to calm themselves, and eyes filled with tears. Tbh it was quite weird to see. Both of the couples had been living together for a few years and one couple had a child already so it can’t have been nerves about the unknown, or first night nerves or leaving their parents homes. I could totally understand nerves if you’d never lived with your partner or had sex or lived away from home.

I’ve been to quite a few weddings and none of the others showed these kind of nerves.

Were you nervous on your wedding day? Can you shed any light?

OP posts:

CatBatCat · 23/06/2020 19:07

My voice shakes when talking in front of an audience even if I feel no nerves in the build up to it. I just know I am likely to well up which is why I want to elope and only look a mess to my soon to be husband instead of a whole crowd.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 23/06/2020 19:07

My legs were shaking so much and I have no idea why! I didn't have any doubts and it wasn't a big wedding. I guess it is just an enormous commitment you are making and that is both exciting and a little scary.

Normandy144 · 23/06/2020 19:08

I wasn't nervous at all but I was tearful walking down the aisle. It was more an elated feeling because the day I had been looking forward to was finally here. They were tears of joy and I was so excited.

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Weddings

Buzzfrightyears · 23/06/2020 19:08

Yes I was
I had to take medication for an upset tummy because I get ‘nervous belly’

TSSDNCOP · 23/06/2020 19:09

Nope. There was a small line about some work to install a wheelchair ramp in the pewsheet several months earlier which DBridesmaids talked me out of making a fuss about. No word at all about scaffolding, taking off the roof, covering it entirely in blue tarp, surrounding the church in builders fencing and installing a couple of portaloos.

The Parish Council said it was fine inside when I phoned them in a bit of a tizzy.

StCharlotte · 23/06/2020 19:09

Those who were really nervous, did you still enjoy the day?

Loved every single minute

mylittleavalon · 23/06/2020 19:12

I was really nervous because I hate people looking at me and go really red, before my wedding I mentioned that I would hate to walk down the aisle at my wedding because everyone would be looking but did want my father to walk me down, so he suggested we have a buffet lunch before hand and I could turn up anytime and people could look at the dress etc then get it over with and then walk down aisle, well i was so relaxed, chatted to everyone before and the we just sort of all drifted in together for the ceremony, any nerves i had drifted away

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 23/06/2020 19:18

I'm used to an audience, love it normally, but I was absolutely shitting myself on my wedding day. I distinctly remember my legs shaking under my dress and being glad it was one of those hoopy skirt things so no one could tell. I wasn't nervous about getting married, it was about the focus being solely on me 'getting it right', and the huge importance of the occasion to my wider family. Plus in the build up it had been a lot about 'doing the right thing' by everyone else and having the perfect day (honestly I didn't care, I'd have married him in a bin liner in a Tesco car park) and the pressure as I finally stood there just hit. I think the perf arts background helped though, no one could tell I was shaking under my dress apparently!

User214934514 · 23/06/2020 19:31

Yes I hated the run-up to my wedding! Cried every day for a week because of stress and wished I knew about Xanax back then. The problem wasn't getting married but the sheer logistics involved. I'm very introverted, have social anxiety and a high need for control. The fact that I couldn't control the weather, traffic or whether a vendor drops out, or some other disaster really messed with my head. Added to that the general social anxiety of making a fool of myself in front of people, or something else embarrassing happening. This was magnified by the fact it wasn't strangers ("they don't even know you/they'll forget the next day") but literally our closest circle of family and friends.

I dread other people's weddings as well because an entire day of socialising sucks so much energy out of me. I'm not autistic but I feel the "masking" behaviour is very similar. When talking to people I simply cannot relax and feel like I'm consciously putting in huge effort to just stand there and act sociable. My favourite part of each wedding is the moment we get back home or to the hotel room so I can retreat in quiet for a while.

Anyway, my wedding actually went quite smoothly with the only problems being a few delays in timing. I enjoyed it a lot but was absolutely shattered by the end. Went home and slept for the entire following day. Genuinely do not miss a single part of wedding planning and SO glad its over. I found the day before my wedding a hundred times more stressful than the day before I had to give birth (ELCS). Probably just because of the length of time and amount of people involved. Giving birth was lovely because it was just DH and myself going to hospital in the early morning.

JustC · 23/06/2020 19:37

Yes, quite nervous, but not about the step itslef, we had the civil ceremony months before. More about everything going well, about the candles not bloody melting from the heat, about the families not clashing etc. I did tear up a bit when he gave me my bouquet (how its done in our country of origin), he just had this googly eyed look 😍

AnxiousElephant77 · 23/06/2020 19:40

I cried all the way down the aisle the first time. I'm getting married again in December, I'm determined not to cry this time.

I wasn't nervous though, just emotional.

Nicolastuffedone · 23/06/2020 19:41

Nervous the morning of my wedding, but not when I arrived at the hotel where we were getting married.....I was looking forward to the ceremony and saying my vows etc.

momtoolliex · 23/06/2020 20:02

I could have just close family and friends at my wedding and I'd still be ridiculously anxious getting up infront of everyone at once - I hate being centre of attention, and although I'm engaged, it's the one thing that puts me off actually getting married

mylittlesandwich · 23/06/2020 20:05

I was calm as a cucumber until my mum made us late and I went into an irrational panic that DH would think I wasn't coming. To the point someone had to phone him for me before I would calm down. Then I had a glass of champers in the car and I was grand.

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 20:07

@AnxiousElephant77

I cried all the way down the aisle the first time. I'm getting married again in December, I'm determined not to cry this time.

I wasn't nervous though, just emotional.

I love that your username is anxious!

OP posts:

elliejjtiny · 23/06/2020 20:17

Yes. I was worried I was going to trip over my dress walking down the aisle, that I was going to be late getting to the church, spill something down my dress, that kind of thing. I love being married and I felt like a princess in a fairy tale but I sometimes think I would have enjoyed the day more if we had just had a quick ceremony and then out for dinner at our favourite restaurant with our parents and siblings.

Thisdressneedspockets · 23/06/2020 20:17

I had a tiny wedding abroad as I didn't like the thought of walking down the aisle with all eyes on me..
As it was I had a lovely day. We got up, had a wedding service, lovely food and champagne and a lake cruise on the evening. Perfect. I wouldn't change a thing about it.

Iwalkinmyclothing · 23/06/2020 20:19

No. I wanted to marry DH. I was delighted to be marrying DH. He was soooooo nervous he could hardly speak at first and idk why, we had a v small ceremony with most people coming to the reception later on, and it's not like he had any fear I wouldn't turn up. He's not not normally nervous at all.

AliasGrape · 23/06/2020 20:31

I didn’t sleep the night before, nerves/ excitement combined. Getting ready in the morning I was a little nervous but definitely settled when I saw DH arrive at the venue. Walking in I was quite emotional - I don’t know if it was nerves, or at least not entirely, but I was just kind of overwhelmed - seeing everyone I loved in one room, knowing the big step I was about to take, having my late dad’s favourite song playing as I walked down the aisle, wishing my late mum could be there, worried I was going to go arse over tit, excited to say my vows, hoping DH didn’t randomly change his mind, hoping everyone was going to get on and enjoy the day. Also recently found out I was pregnant but had had bleeding and a few scares so that was adding to it all.

I know I was teary and there was probably some shaky breathing going on, I don’t know if it was as noticeable as your examples - maybe?

I was super happy though and I had a truly amazing day.

2beautifulbabs · 23/06/2020 20:49

No I wasn't nervous about getting Married I did cry though as soon as I spotted my DH and my Dad bless him was crying so I think it was just emotions like a new chapter leaving behind my family name and taking on my DHs family name but they were happy tears I might add I did make a fool out of myself which provided everyone with a laugh I didn't repeat the vows when the registrar first started I was stood in silence for a few seconds thinking why has she stopped and then realised it was because I was suppose to be repeating the words as well 🤣 thus resulting in me giggling like a little school girl for a while due to my own embarrassment and then our family and friends also laughing.

DMCWelshcakes · 23/06/2020 21:14

Nope, not even a little bit. We had 250 people at the ceremony and it was wonderful.

MalamuteLover · 23/06/2020 21:18

I didn't want to get married so I was a wreck

plus3 · 23/06/2020 21:21

No - I was unbelievably happy & beamed the whole way through I have a reputation for crying easily, most people assumed I would be in floods from start to finish. I wasn’t & it was genuinely one of the best days ever. Luckily DH thinks so too !!

goose1964 · 23/06/2020 21:29

I felt like I was floating all day. I spent the night at my in laws (dh stayed with his best man) and I felt like they were rushing around whilst I calmly floated around. That may have been the bucks fizz for breakfast though. I got the giggles during the sermon as the vicar was going on about sober woman, I used to like a drink.

Minai · 23/06/2020 21:33

Yes. The idea of walking into a room and 70 people turn around and stare at me was a terrifying thought. I’m really shy and I don’t like being the centre of attention. I was worried I’d trip over my dress, stumble over my words and make a fool of myself. I think I looked a little nervous but not visibly shaking or anything.

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