Were you very nervous on your wedding day?

[Smallsteps88]

If so why?

I was reminded today of 2 weddings I attended where the brides were very visibly nervous waking down the aisle. Shaking, doing breathing exercises to calm themselves, and eyes filled with tears. Tbh it was quite weird to see. Both of the couples had been living together for a few years and one couple had a child already so it can’t have been nerves about the unknown, or first night nerves or leaving their parents homes. I could totally understand nerves if you’d never lived with your partner or had sex or lived away from home.

I’ve been to quite a few weddings and none of the others showed these kind of nerves.

Were you nervous on your wedding day? Can you shed any light?

Not remotely nervous, just very, very excited. I would love to do it again as walking down the aisle (actually not an aisle but a path down to a lakeside pergola!) seemed like a dream, it was so surreal and over in a flash. I remember feeling euphoric actually

Best day of both our lives. Incredible experience !

I wouldn't say nervous as such but I was completely overwhelmed. Something strange happened to me when I arrived at the church and I totally froze. Couldn't walk, couldn't smile, almost literally petrified. Somehow I got down the aisle and as the ceremony progressed I calmed down. I was used to public speaking so the vows were fine. I imagine everyone thought I wouldn't be able to get them out because a lot of people congratulated me later for speaking so audibly. But that hadn't been scaring me. I was just completely and utterly overwhelmed by the moment.

I hate thinking back to my wedding. I wish I had been a serene bride instead of making the awful scene I did. Still, it's the marriage that counts, right?

We had two weddings- the Legal ceremony with just immediate family, and then the big party/ceremony with 120ish. I swanned through the legal ceremony feeling radiant and on top of the world, then was shit scared for the 'big' ceremony a week later.

I always said I was so glad that I'd had the legal ceremony first, because I didn't know where my nerves came from, but logically it can't have been the marriage/commitment because we'd already done that part!

My best guess is that my fear was down to internalised homophobia. I still felt a bit like I was playing a part that wasn't meant for me, or being judged in front of wider family, which was sad.

I'm not confident at all and hate being the centre of attention. But on my wedding day I was as calm as anything. I got up and say there drinking my tea like it was any other day. I wasn't nervous at all until after I'd had the chat with the registrar just before the ceremony. When I was standing outside the room waiting for the doors to open that's when the nerves hit. But i remembered what the ladies in the bridal boutique where I got my dress said, "it's your moment so take it, hold your head high and enjoy your walk down the aisle". I was fine when it came to it.
My husband was nervous so I was getting told. He was pacing around the room while he was waiting. He remained facing forward bad I walked down the aisle, which is what I wanted, he seemed calmer when I was by his side. All worked out fine in the end.

I was nervous that I was GOING TO BE nervous, but on the day, I was oddly calm and composed. Loving every second, but even though all my bridesmaids and my mum were crying happy tears, I just felt normal.

HOWEVER, the next day I had to say goodbye to a friend who had come to my wedding but was moving back to the States the next week. I was INCONSOLABLE. Huge sobs that I think were a release from the day before. At least she felt like I was definitely going to miss her!!

Before I got married I was worried about being the centre of attention as I'm not an outgoing person, but I forgot all that once we were getting married

No, I wasn't nervous, but it was awfully stressful in a trying to organise all sorts of shit I didn't really care all that much about sort of way.

I didn't have a wedding planner and there were so many stupid details I had to think about that I didn't care about. I showed up on the day and we were getting married around a lovely ornamental garden pond with like koi and such in it. There was an actual f*ing banana peel floating in the damn thing. No one to fish it out. My florist showed up with my amazing flowers and said 'F**k that!' and took her shoes off and waded in to fish said banana peel out. She was a legend. So it was stressful like that. (Dude who was meant to be doing the music for the ceremony also didn't bother to turn up to the rehearsal).

But at no point was I ever nervous about marrying my dh. I think a lot of women (not me!) put a lot of emphasis on their wedding day as being the biggest day ever and it's very overwhelming. To me, it was just a big (overpriced) party that was a lot of hassle to organise. But I wasn't nervous.

I was a state the day of my wedding. Gagging my guts up in between breakfast, lunch, makeup & hair, photos. Almost delirious with nerves, I really wished I’d just taken a diazepam now. The second I got to the aisle I was absolutely fine 🤷‍♀️and loved every second of the ceremony.

I hate the thought of all eyes on me or any attention but obviously I wanted the man, my family and the day we had planned. It’s all this massive build up and I just wanted to get to it.

Yes. I was alone in the bridal suite of our hotel where we got married for the night before the wedding. I was so antsy and skittish, couldn't sleep and was up for the day at 2am ironing my viel! It was a fabulous day but I was shattered afterwards!

The thought of having one of those Mumsnet style massive weddings with 100 or so people staring at me.... I shudder even thinking about it.

That’s not a mumsnet style wedding. The only permitted type of wedding on here is in a registry office with no more than 4 guests (preferably just a couple of witnesses on their way back from Tesco still with their bags of shopping) and maybe a reception in a puddle or a ditch or something. Bonus points if you wear your jeans and just do it in your lunch hour.

Anything else is ridiculous, extravagant and a sure sign you’ll be divorced within the year.

You do of course still have to simultaneously provide a free bar for everyone you’ve ever met though unless you want to appear ‘crass’.

Yes, I was quite nervous, but I don't think I was actually shaking and I certainly wasn't crying. . The nerves were partly because I don't like being the centre of attention and partly due to the three reasons in your original post that you totally understand!

nope, not at all

An aunt who I hadn't seen since I was nine years old asked me during the family meal the night before, what I would do if the actual marriage bit didn't go ahead. Who asked that sort of thing in a normal conversation. I have no recollection but others said that I replied hurrah. 20more minutes drinking time.

We had been together for ten years but only recently moved in together. I left DH at home hosting a BBQ for a select group of friends the night before. We stayed overnight at the venue and had had invited my family, many of whom lived overseas, for drinks the day after the wedding.

Only when I put my key in the door, with everyone only a few minutes behind me, did I think to wonder what state they had left the house in after the BBQ

Reader it was immaculate.
Only

There are times in your life that you are incredibly nervous, and all the planning, money and expectations and pressure to have the perfect day can get to people. But for me, there's a tipping point: things have their own momentum and you realise there's nothing more you can do - just go along with it and hope for the best.

I wasn’t nervous at all until I got to the altar. Then I realised the meaning of the phrase ‘legs giving way’. It was really strange. My legs lost all power and I felt I was going to collapse. It all felt very unreal . I felt like I was on automatic pilot. I only began to feel normal at the evening reception. When I look back I can’t remember anything much.