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Original poster

Were you very nervous on your wedding day?

90 replies

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:13

If so why?

I was reminded today of 2 weddings I attended where the brides were very visibly nervous waking down the aisle. Shaking, doing breathing exercises to calm themselves, and eyes filled with tears. Tbh it was quite weird to see. Both of the couples had been living together for a few years and one couple had a child already so it can’t have been nerves about the unknown, or first night nerves or leaving their parents homes. I could totally understand nerves if you’d never lived with your partner or had sex or lived away from home.

I’ve been to quite a few weddings and none of the others showed these kind of nerves.

Were you nervous on your wedding day? Can you shed any light?

OP posts:

katmarie · 23/06/2020 18:41

I wasnt scared but I was shaking, and almost cried, mostly with the emotion of it all, and the gravity of it, I was making a lifelong commitment, and so was this amazing man, to be with me. It was and still is an enormous thing to me, and very emotional. Dh made me laugh during the vows though and that helped so much.

peony45 · 23/06/2020 18:41

Those who were really nervous, did you still enjoy the day? I constantly think about when we get married and how I think my anxiety would take over. DP and I both have big families and just the thought of being the centre of attention gives me anxiety. I can't even think about speaking in front of all those people too.

Pugdoglife · 23/06/2020 18:41

Not one bit nervous, but we had a small wedding with only our very close friends and family.

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Weddings

Prayerwheel · 23/06/2020 18:43

Oh that’s a horrible thought that they were thinking that!! I hope not. One of the women I know for sure is really happily married. Her husband is very nice and treats her like a queen.

Oh, I didn't mean they anticipated that the marriage would be unhappy, only that there's an entire set of social conditioning and a wedding industry dedicated to making the more impressionable kind of woman think that walking up the aisle in her wedding dress is the culminating moment of her life.

I imagine that if you thought a particular interlude (of what, a minute or two?) was the most important thing you would ever do in the time you had on the planet it might be deeply emotional...?

(I, for instance, am extremely happily married, but didn't want to marry my longterm partner at all, I just did it because he really, really wanted to. The fact that I approached my wedding day with a total lack of enthusiasm has had no consequences for the actual marriage, which is lovely.)

I felt absolutely fine until right before me and my dad walked down the aisle. Then I got a huge fit of the giggles......

Well, that's a much nicer explanation, that all those brimming eyes are the result of suppressed giggles...?

PerfectionistProcrastinator · 23/06/2020 18:43

I will be nervous. I’ll hate being watched as I walk down the aisle and I’ll be nervous that I’ll fluff up what I’m saying. I’ll probably be nervous that people wont enjoy the day and that things will run smoothly. And I know that no matter how hard I try I am likely to get teary that my dad is not there to walk me down the aisle.

But aside from all of the above, weddings are about marrying the one you love, it’s naturally emotional and moving.

Thirtyrock39 · 23/06/2020 18:43

Despite being terrified at the start it was such a brilliant day. Genuinely probably the best day of my life.

bookmum08 · 23/06/2020 18:45

peony did I enjoy the day ? I was bored to be honest. Hanging around eating nibbles and making small talk. Yawn.

Pebblexox · 23/06/2020 18:45

Honestly no.
Leading up to the day I was nervous my dress wouldn't fit, the decorations wouldn't look right, food would be bad, I'd have forgotten something important etc. However on the day, it was a like a wave of calm just came over me and I was excited and ready to marry my bestie no nerves in place.

Thirtyrock39 · 23/06/2020 18:46

My selfish tip to have a brilliant t wedding is to have loads of fun with your mates and partner- we were rubbish at 'doing the rounds' but nobody cared and family were happy chatting to family , work mates having a laugh with work mates etc ... we were quite young (mid 20s) so possibly got away with it a bit but it was just like a big party

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:47

only that there's an entire set of social conditioning and a wedding industry dedicated to making the more impressionable kind of woman think that walking up the aisle in her wedding dress is the culminating moment of her life.

Oh yes I see what you mean now! Thank you.

OP posts:

Jazzled · 23/06/2020 18:48

Those who were really nervous, did you still enjoy the day?

Absolutely, it wasn't traditional as such and really relaxed, not formal at all and had an absolute ball. It was exactly how we wanted it to be.

TSSDNCOP · 23/06/2020 18:48

I was high on adrenaline, which I really hadn't expected. The whole arrival with cars and bells and bridesmaids and waving passers by was overwhelming. Then nothing prepares you for being love bombed down the aisle by 100 of your most loved people.

In my case a little anxiety was allowed as we only found out the roof had been taken off the church the day before, and a building site erected all around.

It was a landmark London church and as DM said (loudly) even during the war it didn't look as bombed out as it did now.

tryinghardtobezen · 23/06/2020 18:49

Not nervous but totally disconnected and numb. I was on anti depressants and Valium to get through the day. 🤣. If I had my time again I would have done it ALL differently. Both me and DH come from very dysfunctional families with multiple toxic narcissists and many of them just exploded/imploded in spectacular fashion in the run up to our wedding day. I was absolutely broken emotionally, nearly cancelled it a week before cos it felt like such a farce, but ‘powered through’ to save face more than anything. Can’t even look at my weddings photos and haven’t seen sil or her children since the day itself - she blanked me all day (yep, at my own wedding!) and she’s never met our two DCs either.

I wish I could tell every future bride - if you have selfish, toxic, narcissistic people on both sides (with enablers to boot...🙄) just elope. You’ll have a bloody lovely day and save loads of money. My marriage is great (although lockdown has tested it!). But my actual wedding day was just a blur of trying not to cry, scream or panic vomit all over myself.

Jazzled · 23/06/2020 18:50

I should add some things didnt go to plan but it just didn't matter. I wouldn't change a bit of it.

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:50

In my case a little anxiety was allowed as we only found out the roof had been taken off the church the day before, and a building site erected all around.

Emily? Is that you??

OP posts:

ClashCityRocker · 23/06/2020 18:50

I wasn't nervous at all..... Right up until the point the entrance music started! Then I was a quivering wreck walking down the aisle.

I think it was just the sense of occasion - we had a fairly small wedding so everyone there we were quite close to, so it wasn't so much the thought of being the centre of attention.

I had an amazing day though (and still have an amazing DH!).

I hadn't even given much thought to wedding nerves and jitters so it was a surprise to me when it happened.

CherryPavlova · 23/06/2020 18:54

Had a brilliant day. Loved every moment after the church doors opened and we started walking down the aisle. Good fun. Lovely to see so many friends were happy for us.
Beautiful ceremony. Then a brilliant ceilidh band. The rain didn’t matter.

TSSDNCOP · 23/06/2020 18:54

@i wish you could have seen it OP. A weeks before at the rehearsal it was idyllic. On the day, fuck me!

PurBal · 23/06/2020 18:56

Hell no! I was too excited to be nervous.

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 18:57

[quote TSSDNCOP]@i wish you could have seen it OP. A weeks before at the rehearsal it was idyllic. On the day, fuck me![/quote]
Didn’t anyone tell you it would be happening? That’s awful!

OP posts:

Toilenstripes · 23/06/2020 18:59

I was terribly nervous so I made my fiancé walk down the aisle with me. I couldn’t do it alone and there was no other option. I actually loved the symbolism of it.

notheragain4 · 23/06/2020 19:00

Genuinely don't remember. But I hate the thought of doing it now, standing up in front of 80 plus people I know watching me, walking in heels, trying to say words clearly and correctly and kiss romantically but not OTT.

No thanks, I'd elope if I were to marry again!!!

Jaxhog · 23/06/2020 19:00

I was convinced I was making a big mistake. That was 43 years ago!

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 19:02

@Jaxhog

I was convinced I was making a big mistake. That was 43 years ago!

And we’re you?

OP posts:

Original poster

Smallsteps88 · 23/06/2020 19:02

were

OP posts:

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