I need a one line answer to my OHs abuse

[wttaf]

Please help me, i need a response to my OH when he unnecessarily shouts at me. Yesterday I screamed back "don't fucking talk to me like that"

Didn't have much effect

Any alternatives?

By the way, I am LTB 👍

Kindness

Does he know that you're planning to go?

I would just say "I don't have to put up with this" and leave the room.

Silence just walk away

“You are being abusive and I Won’t put up with it” and leave the room.

Kindness??! Are you joking??? To somebody abusing her???

I'd be saying 'another nail in the coffin'.

"Finished? Or anything you want to add?"
Then walk calmly away.

Although to be honest if you're LTB maybe biting you tongue world be better. If you provoke him he might ramp it up.

Grey rock him, it will piss him off more than any reply.

Grey Rock
The grey rock method is a practice where an individual becomes emotionally non-responsive, boring, and virtually acts like a rock. Emotional detachment serves to undermine a narcissist's attempts to lure and manipulate, causing them to grow uninterested and bored

Walk away, don’t engage. Pisses them right off.

I feel such a rage I struggle to stay silent. If I tell him his being abusive, he tells me I'm ridiculous.

I told him to go, he won't leave.

Grey rock. Never do anything more interesting than a grey rock. 4 years separated and my xh is still now, weirdly, desperate for my attention.

LTB and don't scream and swear as well.

Just walk away and smile to yourself knowing you're ltb sooner than he knows

Read up about ‘grey rock’, OP. He’s treating you like that, because he’s enjoying winding you up. I hope you’re getting everything in place for leaving. A safe place that he doesn’t know about for all financial paperwork, passports, bank cards, jewellery, etc.

Definitely walk away and don't engage. You will get the hang of it. Don't give him the satisfaction of your reply.

Don't engage. Remind yourself you're on your way out.

"If you think so, dear." "Whatever you say."

It's a start on disengaging from his idiocy. Like an advance on your freedom!

Teacher I worked with used to calmly say 'I don't listen to shouters outers' when kids forgot to put their hand up. Try that.

I like "another nail in the coffin"

Also this grey rock thing I have never heard of, when I ignore him he does get even more furious

(I am not in anyway scared of him, and he would not put a hand on me)

Smile, turn and walk away and dont rise to him.

If he thinks it's ok to shout at you, all the one liners in the world won't help I'm afraid.

Thanks everyone.

Let's see what another days brings 🙄

@wttaf

I feel such a rage I struggle to stay silent. If I tell him his being abusive, he tells me I'm ridiculous.

I told him to go, he won't leave.

Try to get that rate under control and when you’re grey ticking him, just keeping thinking of every insult he throws at you, as a weapon of desperation. The more insults, the more frustrated he is getting, at not being able to push your buttons. Enjoy going grey rock and savour the fact that the better you get at it, the more you will frustrate him. You’ll end up feeling that you are the one in control and that will seriously fuck him off.

Another vote for grey rock. I get that the rage you feel makes this hard. But I found that once I did it properly, it's actually really empowering. Sort of, taking back control over my reactions, and then my feelings. It's very freeing.

What's the living situation like OP?

You're not married but do you have kids together? Are you both on the mortgage or tenancy agreement?

Excuse all my spelling mistakes. I’m on my phone and my glasses are broke. 😳