@OhFuckOffWithTheBubbleBollocks (love the username btw!)
ugh I hate the "you're not leaving until you have a wee" especially when it's delivered in a teacherish voice. I don't know what your mobility is like so forgive me if you can't, but if you can go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet and turn the taps on would it help? Alternatively, leave the hospital and go somewhere without a toilet - you will need it immediately winkSending positive thoughts to you!
Thank you! To be fair, they haven't been teachery about it, I'm just fed up. It's apparently an uncommon but not unheard of side effect of chemo - trust me to get the randomest side effect!
The doctor just swung by and my bloods are okay (yay!) so I can go home, but have to go home with a catheter
I am extremely unthrilled by this. I did try the running water trick, but to no avail. If it is caused by what they think, it's nerves not communicating properly with other nerves. They'd better bloody hurry up and start communicating again, is all I can say!
On a totally random note, does anyone here remember well the BSE/CJD crisis? I wasn't in the UK at the time, but many of my friends remember being children or teenagers and saying it was scary, because you couldn't know who might get it. I watched this documentary on BBC and it was quite horrifying. I know it was on a different scale, but it must have been in a way more scary than this... because it was all from the past and you couldn't do anything to protect yourself retrospectively! Another thing that the government didn't handle well... and Mrs Thatcher, for all her much lauded scientific knowledge, didn't think that feeding school children MRM was going to be a problem... 
In France, British meat is still considered by many to be Lethal Poison because of this.