The ADs seek joy and aubergines

[BogRollBOGOF]

We got a bit cut off there didn't we? Thread 15 now.

I desperately need something to plan and look forward to so clinging to that atm.

God me too. I'm such a planner and looking forward to-er.

I don't even care if plans have to change.

But having NO PLANS??

It's not right.

I love courgette and love curry, so intrigued by the idea of courgette curry.

The open-endedness (is that even a word? Doubt it) is what I've struggled with most. Don't get me started on being told that "some things might change.... if it's safe".... none of that is specific enough!
It's been really interesting seeing which of my friends have struggled the most with the lockdown and who hasn't. Not been the ones you'd think. Normally resilient types have had relationship conflicts, mental health problems arise etc, but it's because they normally rely on forward planning/having a project/socialisation to function. Funnily enough my friend who tops up her 'inner cup' with Netflix and crochet has enjoyed her time at home. Go figure.

I've got a dentist appointment on 2nd July, dd and I are having our nails done on 9th July, and dp and I are off to look at wedding rings on 11th July.

At this rate I'm going to need a new planner 🙄

Isn't it amazing how you can so look forward to the most banal of things?!

Courgette curry was incredible. I get confused about advertising/recommending on MN (got a slap on the wrist for recommending a hypnobirthing course on here some time back) otherwise I would link it. But if you google Sri Lankan curry kit it's the one that sounds a bit like kids sweeties

I am struggling with the never endingness of this and the inability to make plans too. I love working out where we will go and enjoy the planning as much as a holiday.

In normal times if I'm fed up I plan something even if its meeting a friend for a drink. I don't think I can do that at the moment.

Normally resilient types have had relationship conflicts, mental health problems arise etc, but it's because they normally rely on forward planning/having a project/socialisation to function.

It me.

Astute observation, Rubber

In normal times if I'm fed up I plan something even if its meeting a friend for a drink. I don't think I can do that at the moment

I’ve been planning loads of stuff, just for a long time in the distance . I’ve booked a few holidays/weekends away, some restaurants etc. Just made sure they all had a decent cancellation policy!
Could do with something sooner to look forward to though.

@Institutkarite

I've followed all the threads but I don't post much because I'm not in the U.K. at the moment. I'm in Portugal and have been since early March. It's been great to see all the anti dementor posts here.Jourdin11 you're most definitely not a dementor. I wish you well for the future. For those of you missing the sea, this photo is for you. We're allowed out here and life is slowly getting back to normal. It will happen for you, eventually.

I am insanely jealous. Went on my first holiday with dp to Portugal. I'd love to go back

We love Portugal. Were meant to be there at half term but obviously all was cancelled. Still waiting for our money back.

I've finally realised that I'm a planner too! I need something to plan otherwise I get stuck. I'm also very structured so this whole never ending groundhog day has been really difficult for me.

Re: government advice on what to do if you catch it - my shielding letter very dementory indeed asked that I "prepare a single hospital bag" in case I had to go to hospital as a result of CV. It also peak dementoryness advised me to include a copy of my Advanced Care Plan. So that was nice.

Actually typing that gives me more sympathy for shielding people who are really very worried/stressed and bleaching their shopping and quarantining their post. Receiving letters like that out of the blue at the beginning of all this happening when everything was so uncertain (and I got three separate copies sent to me!) really don't fucking help.

It also makes me wonder (even more) though - why the hell some people who are normally fit and healthy, who aren't vulnerable or shielding, have reacted the way they have - as though they have received a letter like that and are really very much at high risk of imminent death.

Im sure there is an expression or word for what I'm trying to say (I'm tired) but it almost feels insulting (I'm really wording this badly) that some people with much less risk are running round in circles screaming while the vast majority of extremely vulnerable people are just getting on with it.

My brain is really woolly. I don't think I'm explaining it well. Perhaps someone will know what I'm trying to say!

Oh the planning YES. I love me a plan. I also love lists. Lists of plans

I have been trying to have a plan for each week (eg one week sort kitchen cupboards) fuck me that sounds boring

Also routines. I am (usually) in bed by this time reading my book fuck me I am actually really boring

God that sounds awful no wonder shielding folk feel the way they do.

I don't know why non vulnerable folk are acting as they do other than the media campaign to scare people. Risks have been very poorly explained and most people seem to think catch covid and die. Which really isn't the case. I also think that we don't deal with death well and this has reminded us that we are all mortal.

It also makes me wonder (even more) though - why the hell some people who are normally fit and healthy, who aren't vulnerable or shielding, have reacted the way they have - as though they have received a letter like that and are really very much at high risk of imminent death

Yes I agree with this. Someone I know (in generally good health but with mild asthma, so mild they haven’t needed an inhaler since they were a teenager but ‘sneezes near cats’) hasn’t left her house/garden for 14 weeks and hasn’t allowed her children to either. Constantly going on about being at a ‘high risk of death’. Washes shopping, quarantines post etc. It does feel like an insult to those who are genuinely vulnerable/shielding. Almost like a ‘grief tourist’, but a ‘risk tourist’.

I know what you mean but not sure of the word for it. Inappropriate r insensitive perhaps.

On the elderly in Italy, i remember reading an account of that at the time and yes they were taking most of them into hospital. there was a picture of an old lady with a sad look and the picture said 'she didn't want to go'
They made her go in to the hospital but she wanted to stay at home

I knew here and other countries they do let the old people stay at home and don't make them go in which may be kinder in some ways.

it made me think of that Charlie Gard case we talked about before, i remembered it was Italy who were prepared to take the little boy and keep him alive, giving the parents false hope. I wondered if it is something in their healthcare (or perhaps Catholic? religion) which emphasises life at all costs. I'm not sure though.

I wonder with some of those people they have maybe never experienced a serious illness or anything and that doesn't help? I'm not sure.

@Drivingdownthe101

It also makes me wonder (even more) though - why the hell some people who are normally fit and healthy, who aren't vulnerable or shielding, have reacted the way they have - as though they have received a letter like that and are really very much at high risk of imminent death

Yes I agree with this. Someone I know (in generally good health but with mild asthma, so mild they haven’t needed an inhaler since they were a teenager but ‘sneezes near cats’) hasn’t left her house/garden for 14 weeks and hasn’t allowed her children to either. Constantly going on about being at a ‘high risk of death’. Washes shopping, quarantines post etc. It does feel like an insult to those who are genuinely vulnerable/shielding. Almost like a ‘grief tourist’, but a ‘risk tourist’.

This. I admit to having limited patience for perfectly healthy people wanging on about certain death and how they haven't left their property boundaries in months.

@Orangeblossom78

I wonder with some of those people they have maybe never experienced a serious illness or anything and that doesn't help? I'm not sure.

Yes I think this might be the case.

it made me think of that Charlie Gard case we talked about before, i remembered it was Italy who were prepared to take the little boy and keep him alive, giving the parents false hope. I wondered if it is something in their healthcare (or perhaps Catholic? religion) which emphasises life at all costs. I'm not sure though.

Oh, interesting, Orange.

That would tie in with how quite a few older people have been more 'whatever will be will be' to the exasperation of their adult children. They maybe have been through past illnesses and realise there is risk around everything they do. (perhaps!)

I've just dipped into the Florida thread. I cannot believe people are holding over until 2022! I'm looking at possibly going away in August!

@OhFuckOffWithTheBubbleBollocks

Re: government advice on what to do if you catch it - my shielding letter very dementory indeed asked that I "prepare a single hospital bag" in case I had to go to hospital as a result of CV. It also peak dementoryness advised me to include a copy of my Advanced Care Plan. So that was nice.

Actually typing that gives me more sympathy for shielding people who are really very worried/stressed and bleaching their shopping and quarantining their post. Receiving letters like that out of the blue at the beginning of all this happening when everything was so uncertain (and I got three separate copies sent to me!) really don't fucking help.

It also makes me wonder (even more) though - why the hell some people who are normally fit and healthy, who aren't vulnerable or shielding, have reacted the way they have - as though they have received a letter like that and are really very much at high risk of imminent death.

Im sure there is an expression or word for what I'm trying to say (I'm tired) but it almost feels insulting (I'm really wording this badly) that some people with much less risk are running round in circles screaming while the vast majority of extremely vulnerable people are just getting on with it.

My brain is really woolly. I don't think I'm explaining it well. Perhaps someone will know what I'm trying to say!

It makes total sense! I actually never got my shielding letter - perhaps they sent you mine as well, lol! But I guess that may be because I wasn't diagnosed and told to shield until about 2 weeks in... I fell down an administrative crack, so to speak! It wasn't really an issue. My GP and hospital consultant told me what to do (and probably a bit more reasonably and sensibly than the letter did...).

I think that having the knowledge that I was already quite sick before lockdown, with compromised immunity because of pancytopaenia, yet I was travelling around London on the tube etc during peak infection period...and never got anything...made me feel less fearful about the whole thing? Does that make any sense?

DH has a good friend at work who has Crohn's (I never spell it right, apols) and they are on some immunosuppressive medication. Well, they got it, and were sick for about 10 days, like bad flu, and then completely recovered.

My mum is definately in that category @Orangeblossom78. At 81 she loves life and wants it to continue but would say that she has had a great life and if it was over tomorrow so be it. Also in her working life she was a senior ICU nurse so has very clear views on what treatment she would / wouldn't want. She certainly doesn't believe in life at all costs.

@MinesaPinot

I've just dipped into the Florida thread. I cannot believe people are holding over until 2022! I'm looking at possibly going away in August!

The first thing DH did practically, when lockdown was announced, was book a holiday in Corfu for us all for next Easter. It was very cheap 😀

I do remember the Charlie Hard thing btw, and I think they did try to get some RC elements involved. But the RC Church is really not very "life at all costs". If you're a Good Catholic, you should positively be looking forward to being dead!