Anti-dementors are driving round the Arc de Triomphe

[SockYarn]

new thread :-)

If we moved to Northern Ireland would we at some point be eligible for an Irish passport & freedom from the UK? NI seem to be doing far better than the rest of the UK.

@Ibake - yes, that's another one on the neglectful parent charge sheet for me too. One of those monitors with the green and red lights around the top! Can I also ask for the use of the baby listening service on holiday to be taken into account?

Sounds like you have twins? My twin boys, my youngest, are 16 now. Miraculously all 4 have survived my terrible neglectful parenting, mostly unscathed (we did leave child number two behind somewhere in his pram once, but that's another story).

@trappedsincesundaymorn in my head you now look like Celia Imrie 'we're going to need considerably bigger buns'
(Calendar girls for you youngsters)

ooh I'd love to have people in doing stuff on the house. It'd dilute the bad atmosphere here in my house. It's just me ad dd (DH has gone to look after his ill mum, even though it's against probably ALL the roolz) and DD is murderous. Has been for several days. You'd think she'd be happy, she's off to town with a friend to shop, the first time since lockdown began. And she's going on the bus, again for the first time. She's going to have to wear a mask, and it's probably as well because the look on her face could kill .

I think it's me that's the target of her ire, but I'm not sure why originally. I do know me telling her off for putting the central heating on was the final straw last night

We had plumbers in on Monday sorting out showers. Got someone coming tomorrow to put a fence up in my garden to stop the toddler trying to throw himself off the raised grass bit on to the patio. Also had someone in to quote for bricking a door up, which I am having done next week. I’ve even been giving them cups of tea and coffee!

@frank yup, Tomy, still in the loft somewhere. At least you knew what you were doing by the time you had twins, DH and I just made it up as we went along. My tip for new mothers of twins is the complete opposite of all the more gentle baby led stuff these days (which does sounds lovely if you're only dealing with 1). I refer to the two R's - routine and reins. It's the only way you'll get any sleep and all stay alive.

Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow
Welcome to the crazy gang.
Another Scot here from the Borders. Regularly cross the border on killing sprees just keeping up tradition😉

Happy Birthday🐑🐑 Desmond enjoy your cake.

I miss my cafe too. Large coffee and a pastry and half an hour lost in a book was my idea of bliss.

Morning, spree killers of the world. It’s been an irritating one here at Chez Spuds. DS has been going for an all-time world record on running through his repertoire of behaviours guaranteed to drive his parents insane. He’s on the third or fourth cycle now - a personal best. I’m so proud

He wants to do some baking later and I’d love to, but it does mean I’m going to have to go and buy eggs. With DS in tow. He hasn’t been into a shop (garden centres notwithstanding) since March... now just toying with the idea of taking him to the garden centre again as they have a Mountain Warehouse, and he could do with some new t-shirts and shorts... or maybe go the whole hog and hit up Morrison’s. Trouble is our local Morrison’s is populated with people who give us the evils (even when DS is holding my hand and behaving - the time he had a tantrum I thought we were actually going to be killed to (not sadly) death) in normal times... not sure I can deal with it at the moment.

@Drivingdownthe101

WTAF are you supposed to do to entertain a 17 month old when it’s raining and nothing is open? When the DD’s were home I felt slightly more justified in neglecting him as I had to attempt to home school them. Now they’re at school and I’ve got time to do stuff with him, there’s nothing to do.

Have you though about going for a walk? Children don't melt in the rain [tinkly little laugh]

Sorry. I couldn't resist recycling the stock answer used for entertaining/ exercising children for 3 fucking months like we genuinely actually hadn't though about it

@ibake - yes and the older two could actually be helpful at times! God yes reins! I remember well the day I took mine out for a walk with the special twin reins (!) and they literally ran rings round me and had me tied up like in an old cartoon!

OH reckons we're going to need a bigger cake.

😂😂

Roaring laughing now.

Brilliant

Have you though about going for a walk? Children don't melt in the rain [tinkly little laugh]

I stupidly engaged with someone who made a genuine comment like this yesterday .
Can’t think of anything worse than walking the same streets that I’ve been walking every day for the past 3 months in the rain with a reluctant toddler who sticks his fingers down drains.

Oh, Christ, yes! @Drivingdownthe101

I had rare violent feelings towards someone who recommended a lovely walk to me yesterday and then put a "heartwarming" picture on fb extolling the virtues of said activity, complete with pics of sweet children, walking happily.

@torydeathdrug

If we moved to Northern Ireland would we at some point be eligible for an Irish passport & freedom from the UK? NI seem to be doing far better than the rest of the UK.

I don't think you can naturalise as Irish by living in NI, no matter for how long.

But sure, 'mon over.

We need more sound incomers.

All of you coping with lockdown and young children have my total utter sympathy. 💐💐💐

[quote Ibake]@trappedsincesundaymorn in my head you now look like Celia Imrie 'we're going to need considerably bigger buns'
(Calendar girls for you youngsters)[/quote]
Don't know about bigger buns...a couple of cob loafs more like. I really need to lose some lockdown weight.

Amazingly, walks with DS are a lot easier when there’s the prospect of cake and a playground at the end of it. Without those, there’s always a good chance of a whine-fest

"(we did leave child number two behind somewhere in his pram once, but that's another story).*

Happens to all the best babies. Mum blames me though as she was tired because I had an appalling sleep pattern and was always ill. Got nearly all the way home before she realised.

@Mascotte

Oh, Christ, yes! *@Drivingdownthe101*

I had rare violent feelings towards someone who recommended a lovely walk to me yesterday and then put a "heartwarming" picture on fb extolling the virtues of said activity, complete with pics of sweet children, walking happily.

Someone on a thread yesterday said ‘you live in the wrong country if you don’t like the rain’. Err what? Normally if it’s raining I can take the kids to a cafe, or soft play, or an indoor activity centre, or soft play, or my dads house, or even just a trip to Tesco to look at the toys, eat cake in the cafe and go on the mini £1 rides. She then said ‘we go and paddle in the sea when it’s raining’. Bully for you.

Have you though about going for a walk? Children don't melt in the rain [tinkly little laugh]

I was gutted when they built on some wasteland near my old house, there was ruts in an old access road and the DC would entertain going there for splashing once the rain stopped.

She then said ‘we go and paddle in the sea when it’s raining’.

I didn't think us inland dwellers were welcome on their beaches.

I don't think it's a coincidence that the rise in hyper-protective parenting has arisen around the era of self validation by other neuortic people on social media. When names of children succumbing to tragic events are cited, the events are so anomalous and unlikely that they are from 15, 20, nearly 30 years ago.

As an 80s kid our weekly routine involved trawling the little shops on a Saturday, then I'd be locked into the car forever (probably about half an hour, it wasn't short) while my dad went into the bookies. Every week. I can't remember when this routine started but I think it was well established by 5, and was certainly long running before we moved when I was 7. And week after week I'd sit there learning the lyrics to Chris DeBurg from the cassette inlay card, or reasing the Readers Digest Atlas driving tips, how to load your roof rack, aquaplaning etc. This routine continued for years until he died when I was 11, hundreds and hundreds of Saturdays and absolutely nothing happened!

When my two were baby/ toddler it was such an ordeal trying to herd them out that I did sometimes sneak to the postbox for 5 minutes rather than an hour's ordeal of shitting through nappies/ clothes, feeds, sensory melydowns over getting dressed etc. Far simpler to make the most of their lengthy naps and check the house was unlikely to spontaneously combust within a 5 minute timeframe. I remember trying to do it with DS1 on a scooter when he was 4 and the 5 minute errand took an earsplitting 30 minutes for all his furore about getting out and scooting uphill and anything else that can possibly aggravate him.

Just before lockdown I asked another youth group leader when she thought DS (9) would be OK not to be lugged out the 300m down the road for 90 minutes. She works in child safeguarding and said he'd be fine now. He has a landline, I have the mobile, either he or I can run to each other in 3-4 mins, he knows the emergency exits and he's the type of child who will just sit on the sofa and Minecraft and be surprised that you've announced you're home as he didn't register you'd left 90 minutes earlier.

It's like people encouraging your children to jump in fucking muddy puddles.

Have you seen this? Alert level drops apparently

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-53106673

Level five (red) - a "material risk of healthcare services being overwhelmed" - extremely strict social distancing

So we are now-

Level four - a high or rising level of transmission - enforced social distancing
Level three - the virus is in general circulation - social distancing relaxed
Level two - the number of cases and transmission are low - minimal social distancing
Level one (green) - Covid-19 is no longer present in the UK - no social distancing