What's the worst thing you have ever cooked or been served.

[JustOneLastThing]

I once made a beef pasta thing, it had 20 cloves of garlic! I followed the recipe to the letter, it took hours. I tended to it almost like I tend to the kids. It tasted like feet.

I think I can still taste it, and it was five years ago! There was so much of it, and we tried to eat it in vain. I eventually threw if away after it had festered in the freezer for a few months years.

@SummerDayWinterEvenings

I honestly think Americans have no taste buds when it comes to pumpkins. It does not taste nice.

My late mum was a pretty good cook, but puddings and cakes were more her forte. I remember Dad grew marrows on our allotment and so she made stuffed marrow for Sunday dinner. Slimy, overcooked watery green bleurcch stuffed with grey dry greasy mince.
I'm vegetarian now, but have never eaten marrow since.

Served rice pudding but the milk had turned so it tasted of cheese. Cook was a very sensitive person so I ate it by spooning it in quickly and swallowing immediately to avoid tasting it. When I finished they offered seconds.

My mum was a good cook but I couldn't eat more than a mouthful of trips and onions

Tripe, even spellchecker knows how bad it was

A starter of under cooked bacon wrapped around Philadelphia cheese.Could gag just thinking about it.

When I was still very much learning to cook made a garlicky pork bake thing that was disgusting. The pork was gristly, the potatoes were slightly hard and the sauce was just nasty and gloopy.

Broccoli and stilton soup. I adore both ingredients but for some reason the soup is gross to me.

I used to hate going to friends houses to eat as a child. Once was asked if I liked lasagne, which I did only to be served lasagne made with tuna, mushrooms and sweet corn the white sauce seemed to be made of dairylea.

Ah I once did a pork roast (semi-regular occurrence, not like it was my first attempt) that lives in infamy in my children's minds as 'The Indestructible Pork'.

No idea what went wrong but the bugger was so tough we couldn't even cut it, let alone chew it. We ended up having toasted cheese instead.

My ex went through a stage (before he was an ex), of serving me really under cooked pork and chicken, mixed in with lots of veg and sauce, so it often wasn't until I bit into it something, that I'd realise. It got so bad at one point, I asked him outright was he trying to poison me.

The only other time I've spat food out, was when my gran served me pie, veg, boiled potatoes and gravy, and I was half way through the potatoes, when I realised they were covered in 100's of tiny little dead black flies or insects of some sort 😷

*bit into something

@iklboo

Re best recipes:

One of the family favourites is this peanut butter chicken one. DS(14) has never really liked peanut butter but he will try any food at least once (always has really) but he loved this when he tasted it and wants his own serving next time.

[[http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/2244/slow-cooker-peanut-chicken.aspx PEANUT BUTTER CHICKEN]]

I had peanut chicken once, it sounded revolting but is actually amazingly good. I've been bored with food lately so am going to make some soon.

The worst served to me was boxing day soup, if you want to recreate it just throw all of your leftover turkey, potatoes, sprouts, stuffing and any other assorted crap with some gravy into a pot and cook till mushy!

It's now a family legend which even the person who made it laughs about.

Prawn avocado on wilted lettuce. The avocado was brown, the prawns were warm and grey, and there was bits of grey grit on it - which we found out later was cat litter when we went into their kitchen as saw the litter tray on the side.

Do I win?

My ex cooked skate wing poached in butter. He was usually a good cook but, God, it was vile.

I normally quite like fish but haven’t touched skate since.

My mum served veggie lasagne to us with quorn mince. She used a jar of pasta sauce meant for 4 people, and made a white sauce using soya milk and soya butter. No herbs or seasoning. It was so dry that the pasta was wasn't cooked, and completely tasteless. She kept saying how meat is so much more juicy. She even managed to burn the dry pasta.
We didn't tell her that we make lasagne with lentils and lots of vegetables, plenty of cheese and butter... and lots of ragu!

Apricot and almond soup. It was so vile I almost gagged.

Cooked: my attempt at a Spanish omelette. You're supposed to cook the vegetables first, especially if they're frozen. In my defence, I was 14 and I'd produced perfect omelettes before.
Served: a pizza consisting of shortcrust pastry, tomato puree and a slice of barely warm cheddar. It was 1975, when restaurant food wss mostly overpriced school dinners.

When I was 12 I became vegetarian. I went to a vegetarian friend’s house and her mother served me the most awful meal. My friend had veggie sausage and mash.

She served me “cottage pie”

Except it was not cottage pie.

It was turkey mince (which I’d never had) and the cheapest, fattiest, grey Turkey mince I’ve ever seen, with no seasoning at all (no gravy, just salt, no pepper, I don’t even think any onions), frozen peas mixed through and no potatoes on the topping, just watery swede, again totally unseasoned. The whole thing was like a watery orange and grey plate of slop.

Also... I WAS VEGETARIAN. Which she refused to believe. She said I was just trying to copy her daughter.

I was actually retching as I was eating (although obviously trying to disguise it as not to be rude). She was adamant I would eat the whole thing and was just really, really evil about the fact I was struggling to eat. I can still remember the lump in my throat where I was trying not to cry and being forced to eat this. She said “you’ve got to learn what homecooked food tastes like, we don’t eat convenience foods like you do at your house”. My parents are amazing cooks...from scratch...first rate...everyone says the three of us could have a restaurant. As a child, I had the best of food.

That woman was so nasty. She was also a bloody racist too. Needless to say I never went back there.

Her kids were extremely unhealthily skinny and her daughter had really quite awful depression for someone so young. With a mother like that I completely understand how that came about. It was a joyless house.

Cooked: mushroom and bean burgers from a Cranks recipe book, it was just greasy mashed beans that didn't even try to stick together.

Been served: all-bran banana cake by a friend's mother. It was like eating banana flavoured peat.

What a bitch.

In the height of my slimming world days I made a spicy pork pasta bake thing. It was vile and my DP wouldn’t eat it - I soldiered on because I was hungry and I’d cooked it. I was hospitalised with food poisoning from the pork - so extreme that environmental health were involved. Obviously not entirely my fault but I should have just not eaten it. In my defence many slimming world recipes are gross so it wasn’t unusual at the time

I made an artichoke risotto. I hadn't prepared the artichoke correctly and it was like eating a cactus! Awful. I gave up after 2 bites but my husband loyally managed half a plate.

That was 8 years ago and he still won't let me forget it. Last week I learnt how to prepare an artichoke correctly, woohoo. But husband wouldn't go near it, said I'd scarred him for life lol.

Served a horrible tofu satay in a Chinese restaurant I simply couldn't eat. Slimy, tasteless but vomit inducing. The prawn/ cat litter wins though
Worst I have cooked- not much inedible but various questionable things such as coconut and lime pannacotta- slime central.

When engaged, I cooked a lamb casserole, using neck of lamb. So many small bones! And I had mushrooms in a garlic cheese sauce in a restaurant once, that were still frozen in the middle.

In a works canteen in Milan, early 2000s
Brown tripe served by a lady with big flakes of dandruff in her hair and no hairnet.

A fried served us a lasagne that she had somehow left a plastic spatula in and it had melted into the layers of the lasagne.

Most bad meals have been in France:

Trotter sausage rolls
Giant sea whelks
Duck breast so rare that it can have been cooked for more than a second
Andouillette Sausage

Dh ordered lamb in a beautiful Ibizan restaurant. A plate turned up with a whole leg of lamb, must have been a very very baby lamb, the hood was hanging over the edge of the plate.