What's the worst thing you have ever cooked or been served.

[JustOneLastThing]

I once made a beef pasta thing, it had 20 cloves of garlic! I followed the recipe to the letter, it took hours. I tended to it almost like I tend to the kids. It tasted like feet.

I think I can still taste it, and it was five years ago! There was so much of it, and we tried to eat it in vain. I eventually threw if away after it had festered in the freezer for a few months years.

I tried lasagne on the slow cooker once - yuk! Tasteless, bland slop. Ditto macaroni cheese. I only use the SC for jacket potatoes and whole chickens now after too many flavourless disappointments

(I'd like to add though, my roasts have remained his favourite meal, despite that early hefty dental bill!)

Oh Ive seen lasagne on those bonkers slow cooker groups.
No thanks.

Things I've cooked - a lemon cake that sank and tasted like washing up liquid.
Then there was the time DH and I went on a self catering holiday. Arrived late on s Sunday, everything was shut. We decided to make do with what we had. DH cooked some chicken breasts which we added to some chicken and mushroom pot noodle. Somehow the mix of real chicken and the fake flavour morphed into something that was so vile even me, a veritable human dustbin, could not stomach.
DH - when we were newly engaged he invited my parents over for a meal. He did his favourite beef stew and dumplings. Normally delicious, but the suet was off and he didn't realise. They tasted like over salted slime.
I've never had an awful experience in a restaurant. Was served a burned gammon steak, but it was immediately replaced with another meal that was more expensive at no extra cost.

Coconut flour pancakes. They and the (expensive) flour hit the bin. Vile

I lodged for a few months as a student. One night I was served faggots.... still frozen in the middle. No-one said a word!
I left as soon as possible.

I made a jambalaya that I had seen on tv got the recipe cooked it for what seemed like 5 days and it went like spicy wallpaper paste

DMIL once took us to a traditional Portuguese cafe near her home - popular with locals and not at all touristy. We’d eaten there before very successfully. One of their specials that day was “hunter‘a chicken” Here’s me thinking a nice chicken stew along the lines of a chicken chasseur. What turned up was chicken (the whole chicken!) cooked in its own blood.

Someone once served me polenta. They sliced off a piece and grilled it and it smelt and tasted of burnt rubber. It was absolutely disgusting. Years ago I bought a slice of a chocolate cheesecake from Asda and it was like eating a chocolate flavoured piece of cheddar. It made me throw up.

Tried to make hummus once! It wasn't great 🤢

Cooked myself - anything done in a slow cooker. They're shit and everyone seems in denial about it.
Served to me - a partly raw, frozen ready meal lasagne in bloody Italy, of all places. Think they thought they could fob off tourists! Also, a veggie burger at a friend's barbecue. Actually vomited. It was like a cardboard circle of tastelessness, so how it made me chuck up I do not know.

Worst thing I've served was definitely my attempt at chocolate eclairs...they were like Exocet missiles.
(Normally a good baker)
Worst thing served to me was at school, sausage casserole, the sausages looked raw, and very pink, as if this didn't make me feel nauseous enough, a group of nasties started saying that I was having willies for lunch.
I must have been about 8 years old, never touched sausage casserole since.

We got a slow cooker as a wedding present 20odd years ago nothing tasted nice out of it my dd loves hers maybe they have improved but the bolognese I cooked was revolting.

Cooked - probably a lamb rogan Josh, it didn't taste anything like Indian and my lamb was rock hard.

Restaurant - I was once on a visit to our suppliers in China who were adamant they wanted to say thank you by taking us out for dinner at an authentic local restaurant. I didn't even get to choose what I wanted... a huge eel wrapped around a snake egg was served in front of me. They expected me to eat the whole thing and said they'd be "offended if I didn't eat it".

It's making me gag just thinking about it.

Pork with Stilton. I like pork. I like stilton. Combining the two was blurgh.

Years ago I did a meatloaf from an Italian recipe, in Italian, and got the whole thing completely wrong, it went in the bin, after a lot of effort...

I once tried to make a one-pot shepherd’s pie, it didn’t really work out 😐 I only tried such a ridiculous idea because DC3 was newborn and DC2 was 18mo and I was a bit cuckoo and trying to save on washing up.

Worst I’ve been served was scrambled eggs made by a friend when we were on holiday in a gite. She offed to make breakfast, scrambled eggs? Yes, lovely thanks.

Dear god, I was not expecting them to be Satan’s own scrambled eggs. They had onions in them, which were undercooked, as were the eggs themselves. I think I managed two mouthfuls and dfriend was not impressed

Whilst on honeymoon in Bali we took a tour of the island, we stopped at the top for lunch.

They had poached salmon (or it may have been grilled) I was delighted, a change from Nasi Goreng, I started to eat it, pulled the flakes apart to be confronted with a dead bluebottle who had clearly hatched and pupated in there. >>

Oh I've found my slow-cooker people!

Served: a whole chicken cooked in the slow cooker. Everyone delighted by how 'moist' the meat was. It was wet. Wet, stringy, tasteless chicken. No ta.

Also almost everything we ate in Cuba. It was 20 years ago, I was pescetarian but for political reasons people weren't allowed boats so there was almost no fish. I survived on rice and beans that I had to pretend weren't cooked in pork fat. They were.

Cooked: ham hocks. My pork comes from a tiny local farm and costs more than actual gold, it's always beautiful apart from the ham hocks. I just can't work them out, they're basically fat knuckles. I have tried almost every recipe on the web, but can't salvage anything edible out of them.

My friend is or can be a good cook but she does go OTT on experimentation.

Once was some sort of spring roll in a clear tube, she'd done something wrong so it was like chewing a condom stuffed with carrots.

Another time, a few drinks and she starts to prepare the starter. I see her actually frying huge slices of watermelon and think uh oh, it's one of her experiments again.
I am really not a fan of raw tuna, think it was meant to be ceviche but hadn't been marinated long enough so it was fried watermelon with chunks of raw tuna on top.

The first thing I cooked for my now DH was perfectly okay until I dished it up using a spoon that was still covered in Fairy Liquid...
we both abandoned it.

We had a recipe for chocolate pasta that was filled with ricotta and orange. Let's just say the end result looked like something dog owners should be picking up and it was also abandoned in fits of hysterics

I can beat all of these

The worst thing I have ever been served was a tin of spam combined with a tin of bbq pork, bacon supernoodles, a bottle of sweet chilli sauce some sweetcorn and tomato ketchup. It looked like slop, smelt like slop and tasted like slop

I ordered andouillettesin France, thinking (mistakenly) that I was ordering fish. What I got was a plate of sausages made of pig's arse. Literally.

A frozen salad. Went to a restaurant for Sunday lunch. Everyone else had a lovely roast. I ordered a salad which had clearly been made miles in advance and had frozen (either at the back of the fridge or intentionally). It was vile frozen and even more vile as it defrosted at the table into a watery mess.

Lampreys in Porto. Oh my god the second most revolting thing I have ever tried to eat.

The first most revolting was in Mexico City. It was bigged up as a fantastic specialty. The smell was horrendous. Like a cadaver that had been left out in the sun for weeks. That was in 1999 and I still get the shivers when I think about it.

My rice and sausage meat loaf from Hamlyn's All Colour Cookbook back in the mid 70s was rank.