Men driving their female partners car when both travel in it

[HelenUrth]

On my road there are two couples where both the man and woman have their own car, but if they both go out in the woman's car, the man always drives it, also the woman never drives the man's car. One couple is 50s, the other 60s. Does anyone here do the same and would you mind sharing why?

Truly bizarre how many women say they hate driving and their husband's love it. Are we socialised to be like this?

I really don't care. But if I'm not driving one way I don't drive the other way -I tend to have a drink.

Interesting replies, and a few scratchy ones too :) For those who are concerned I have nothing to do, fear not, my days are full and fulfilling! I'm working from home all the time these days and moved my office from a little back room to a bigger room in the front. I often look out the window while on calls and have noticed these 2 couples. Nearly 25 years in my house and I never noticed them before. But it got me to wondering is it common and if so why.

With the younger couple (50s) on my road, from what I know of them I would guess that it's because they both believe the husband is the Head of the Family (happy Oblomov20?!), the other pair I don't know, I suppose it's a generational thing but it seemed odd as the husband walks with a limp.

Thelittleweasel I hadn't even thought of that! Ugh!

We very seldom use my car if it's the two of us, we usually use my husband's company car. My car (compact Lexus) is a bit small for my tall (6'4) husband but on the odd occasion when we do use it I always ask him if he wants to drive because it's got lots of stick and he loves it

I am a really nervous driver so always ask DH to drive. Unless we're going out for a meal, then I'll drive us home as I don't usually drink alcohol.

Dh doesn’t love driving but does most of it

I’m very lazy and would much rather someone else drives, my dad usually drives when we go out together, my mother in law always drove, i have a number of friends who do the driving

I don’t put petrol in the car either...I don’t think dh loves that job

I can drive round a city, on a motorway etc...I’m not overly fond of parking, both my cars have been big though, next time i must get a smaller one

I'm a better driver than DH and I'm not a good passenger so I drive him! (mad?!)

Must add, if we're going out socially where there'll be alcohol involved, my husband always drives. Two drinks easily sees me over the drink/drive limit (I'm a lightweight) and he doesn't drink much anyway, plus my night vision is the pits.

Must add, if we're going out socially where there'll be alcohol involved, my husband always drives

That’s usually the case with us

We often do this, but " my" car is the larger family one for ferrying kids around, and used at weekends when we are all together, "his" car is the smaller economical one for his long commute. He loves driving, I'm not that bothered plus he is the worst back seat driver ever.
Does sound a bit stereotyped though!

My husband is a more confident driver then me so tends to drive. He doesn't drive my car as he doesn't like it but otherwise he probably would. I prefer him to drive then be a back seat driver as well

I find posts like this deeply depressing. People become confident drivers because they drive a lot. If you always get your husband to drive you will never become a confident driver.

I know a number of women whose husbands have done most of the driving, then something has happened to the husband (accident/illness/died) and the wife has been stuck because they have only driven within a three mile radius of home, or never done any motorway driving.

I do 90% of the driving BTW. DH hates driving so much that he only drives really essential journeys such as going to the dentist, and doesn't know the area we live in very well. He doesn't know his way around the nearest town in the car, even though we have lived here for nearly 17 years!

My DH tends to do all the driving even if we are in my car, mainly cos I am a bit lazy and prefer to sit and space out. He likes driving more than me too.

So many happy in their subjugation! Driving will be the last vestige of the patriarchy

What a load of bollocks.
I am perfectly capable of grasping that there are some things in life I love, some I enjoy, some I don't mind either way, some I tolerate, and some I hate. Same as each and every one of us.
For me driving is one of those 'I don't mind either way' things, so why should I make some kind of point of insisting I do 50% of it, when others enjoy it. I don't know if it comforts you any, but my dd loves to drive, and will always choose to drive.

Now, I really don't like cooking, so was thrilled when I found my first flatmate loved cooking. She was thrilled that I'd FAR rather wash up than cook. It made no sense whatsoever for us to do 50% of each job each, as we were both happy doing 90% of the job we preferred. It's got nothing to do with what sex you are, and everything to do with what works for you as a couple or a family, (or, in that case, flatmates).

Is this yet another feminist thread by stealth OP?

I used to do the majority of the driving, until I told him how much I dislike driving. He now does the majority of the driving when we are together. Since lockdown I have not driven once because I didn’t need to. It is an annoying chore. I know some people enjoy driving but I don’t.

DO also tends to drive to places we have never been before, this means if he goes wrong I have someone to moan at rather than having to blame myself 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣

It's funny how it's always the woman who doesn't enjoy driving and the man who does.....

Of course this is about socialisation. Women are not socialised to feel confident driving. It's bad for men too because even if they aren't natural drivers they are socialised to feel they must do it.

There's a reason you seldom hear men say they don't like driving on motorways but hear it from women all the time....

I am a confident driver and am happy to drive. It is something I’m neutral about though, DH otoh likes it. Bizarrely when I was a child DM drove literally everywhere so it isn’t social conditioning for me.

I do drive if it’s somewhere windy though because I get car sick. And on long journeys take my turn.

I drive a lot of miles for work during the week. I'm a confident driver and have driven for years but I don't really enjoy driving. If my dp likes driving and we are out together then I'm more than happy to let them drive...

@Vintagehearts exactly. DH on the other hand hardly drives at all during the week.

I used to be the default passenger, largely because I'm not a confident driver and also because DH really likes driving. My inlaws were like this, until FIL had a stroke and had to surrender his licence. Suddenly MIL had to drive after 40 years and was terrified. Now I drive wherever I like and DH has learned to be a good passenger as I didn't want to find myself in her position.

It's the complete opposite for us. I am the more experienced driver so if we go out together I always drive.

Both dh and I have our own cars. I don’t think dh has driven my car more than twice, I haven’t let him it’s a sporty Merc, and dh drives company cars like their dodgems. If we go out as a family we use dh company RAV4. If he has a drink, I’ll drive back.
I actually don’t like driving. I find it a chore, so if dh drives us if we go as a family.

Speaking of which, my dm is 79 and her biggest regret in life was not learning to drive. Though, my df never helped her with her confidence as he’d really put her off ‘the only thing you’re driving is me up the wall!’

It's funny how it's always the woman who doesn't enjoy driving and the man who does

Exactly @BlingLoving

Or even worse its always overwhelmingly women who say they're nervous drivers hence why their husband drives.