may be a bit sweary and TW
Oh god I am so mad, I am so fucking mad right now, I have not self harmed in something like six years but I just sat in the bath punching myself I AM SO MAD. (Hey - no blades. It's an improvement, no?)
So mum's 4 month sciatica? Is not sciatica. It's muscle wastage. She has had her world diminished to such an extent by this whole fucking travesty that she can no longer walk without pain. She hasn't been eating properly because she was told she could not come to my fucking house and eat cooked meals so she stayed in her own flat, like she'd been told, that she was protecting the NHS and saving lives and flattening the curve. She couldn't go out: she wasn't allowed to get in our car and go somewhere nice for a walk because social distancing. Nice people said no, she mustn't go to the shops - and I'm not being sarky: they were nice, they meant well, they just wanted to protect her - they'd get her food, or I'd get her food. She didn't need to go and pay her own bills at the post office. She didn't need to interact with other people (who might have THE VIRUS) she could do it aaallll on Skype, all on her little iPad, wouldn't that be fun?
My mum is 80 years old. She's a DV survivor and a recovering alcoholic and she has been sober for 18 months, almost, and she is absolutely terrified that "they" will put her in a home if "they" think she can't cope at home. "Where they put you to die" she says.
Those NHS heroes they were clapping? Not at this surgery they aren't. Hiding behind the frigging sofa more like.
The week before last she was suicidal with pain. This week after she saw Dr Useless she said if my DH had left his car keys she would have just driven away - anywhere.
Yup, that's protecting the vulnerable alright. Frightened, in pain, lonely, disenfranchised, and treated like a child. But hey - she's safe, right?