Shit... what have I just found?

[NameChange73939399]

Name changed so as not to link to other threads.

Just been tidying up while DP is at work. Went to tidy his latest bank statement into the paperwork file. I always put his paperwork away for him, but don't normally read it, I don't know what prompted me to read it today.

There are loads of transactions for apple.com/bill

Multiple transactions per day, ranging from £0.99 to £19.99. I added them up and it comes to over £700 in the last month, which seems like a crazy amount of money.

What is this? App purchases? Gambling? Is there anything legitimate that this could be?

I feel bad for having looked, it's none of my business, we have separate finances, but what if it's a problem?

We each pay some bills (nothing in joint names) but I'm due to start maternity leave in the next couple of days, I can't afford to cover 'his' bills if something odd is going on.

Any ideas? Please tell me there is a reasonable explanation.

I too think it is inApp purchases. I play some games and from time to time treat myself to £1.99 worth of extras. The add ons are always £xx.99.

That's a worrying amount if it's in game purchases. Sounds like a addiction

It’s not a Fortnite addiction is it?

That’s £10,000 a year...

That’s into serious gambling addiction territory.

I third Candy Crush. I had to delete that fucker!

You need to speak to him and if you feel you can't, seriously, have a think about why that may be.

It'll be games purchases. This is how they work and huge number of people run up debt playing them and many without realising they're doing it. Programmers should be more clear about the need to pay but aren't because then they aren't paid.

It's common for a game to be free to begin with, perhaps with packs that are 99p or 1.99 only to gain popularity. Then you're pressured to upgrade and the ads start appearing and you need to pay to remove them, a lot of games being unplayable with ads (though if it can be played offline that stops ads). As it increases in popularity the packs needed to play increase in cost, the reasons for needing packs increase (unlock new levels sort of thing) and frequency of needing them (strength only lasts for 30 minutes but for a few quid you can play a bit longer...). I had a game I'd only purchase when the packs were on special offer but was inundated with requests to increase my strength from 99p (went up to £200!) instead of waiting a day. I think I paid £10 altogether over two years then it switched to being online only via wifi and couldn't play anymore anyway.

You seriously wouldn't believe how many people get into serious debt with apps. Yes accounts can get hacked but more often than not its people being sucked into games with increasingly priced in app purchases.

A game I play a lot and haven't updated in years is now unplayable unless you subscribe £5 a month to remove ads. I've not upgraded and only play offline against the computer (chess game).

Went to tidy his latest bank statement into the paperwork file. I always put his paperwork away for him, but don't normally read it, I don't know what prompted me to read it today.

So it was opened and just left sitting out. I wouldn't worry about his privacy too much. If he wanted privacy he would put his own paperwork away.

You need to talk to him about this. Blowing £1700 on an online game in two months is insane, if that's what he's done.

Have you checked the payment reference online to make sure it's not a cover for something else? Like some adult online businesses use names that involve amazon or things that don't jump out as suspicious on statements.

I hadn’t checked my bank statement properly for a couple of months - March, April there were charges for 5.99 once a fortnight by May it was 5.99 every 3 days. App that I had downloaded then deleted but the charges had carried on managed to get refund from apple

That is shocking to spend on a game. My DP loves games, big hobbyist, but that amount is obscene. You need to confront him. Cold turkey will be the way to cull that.

I think if you are worried about his reaction,that says a lot.

You could always say you are worried hes been hacked.Take that angle.See what he says.

I was hacked the other day only 20 euro but it was a game my kids play.So didnt get the email like i normally would.So reported it.

Its being looked at.

I agree that it sounds like game purchases as that is how they show on the statement. Apply Pay would still show as the place where you used it. It is easy to get carried away if you are trying to finish a level or win prizes, and it is like any other form of addiction.

The game I play, the bundles start at £1.99 and go right up to £78.99.
I started buying a few cheap ones when I got really stuck (not Candy Crush), One month I didn't realise how much I had spent, until I got the credit card bill and I was appalled and ashamed of myself and it was nowhere near £700. I stopped there and then with buying anything whilst playing.

You need to discuss this with your husband, as this is family money that he is giving away. Can you look at all the statements with him and add up the total he has spent overall?

Sometimes it takes the cold hard facts to shock somebody into realising what they are doing. If you have a mortgage, then you could have paid that amount off it, or if you are saving for a deposit, or a great family holiday, a new car, whatever floats his boat, point out that it would have been a huge amount towards that.

Try and discuss it calmly with him, it is a form of addiction, and it doesn't seem like real money when you are in the game. If he sees the cold hard figures, then maybe it will help him to stop.

Another person saying, he left it out, you weren't snooping and this is far too big a red flag to ignore. He must know he spending an unholy amount of money, and you need to seriously discuss this with him

Those two months are not going to be the only ones - if he's spent £700-1000 every month for the past year that's about £10k! No need to feel like you've overstepped when we're talking about that sort of money!

I had this with my DD

It's app subscriptions or in app purchases.

She'd downloaded free apps that had subscriptions attached. They were each taking about £10 a day!

I ended up with charges totalling over £400 in a few weeks.

If he wants to check, he needs to go to Settings>AppleID>Subscriptions

There might be ones on there that he's not aware of.

I can't believe they get away with doing this! It's bad enough all the "free trials" all over the place where they expect you to forget to cancel - and so many will! A free trial shouldn't take your card details. You should decide if you want to pay after the free bits done.

So 1700 in the last two months spent on, basically, air.

You absoloutley need to talk to him.

What's the general financial situation? Do you each have equal fun money?

That's a holiday abroad. In two months. Wasted.

Bring it up. It is not snooping. It is the universe trying to shake you up.

Call it luck, karma, whatever, it had to be found out now.

It's definitely in app purchases for a game he plays on an Apple device. I had to stop myself playing Kim Kardashian Hollywood because I was spending a small fortune each month.

Definitely in-app purchases, but he may very well have been hacked. I’ve been here, so pleb was making in-app purchases to game I’ve never had

In app purchases. You have to be so careful. I spent about £60 one month on candy crush without noticing. Far too easy to do

I had it with my daughter and she didn't realise she'd subscribed, I contacted Apple through online chat and got it all refunded (was about £80 over 4 months and she's a teen so was coming out of her account)!

It could be books, films or tv series.

I'm another who thinks it's in game purchases. I play the sims and a war game. I can easily not spend money on the sims but the war games are lethal as to get anywhere near decent you need to spend money. You just build up way too slowly otherwise (we're talking months of waiting, not a few days). However, I have probably spent maybe £500 over a period of 4 years. Approx £10 a month, which has been worth it to me for the entertainment value. I would rather spend £10 on that, than say go to the cinema and watch a film.

£1700 in 2 months is worrying though. I can see how it is easily done. My game has plenty of packs at £99.99. But if he doesn't have the willpower to resist, than that's a problem especially with a child on the way. I would do what pp's have suggested and raise it in the way of saying you're worried there's been fraud on the account.

Just ask him about it. If you tidy away his paperwork normally it’s not like you were snooping. Maybe just say your worried about him because it’s usual for him to spend so much and wondered if he was aware an app had been taking so much money.
I think direct approach is better than wondering about it.