Shit... what have I just found?

[NameChange73939399]

Name changed so as not to link to other threads.

Just been tidying up while DP is at work. Went to tidy his latest bank statement into the paperwork file. I always put his paperwork away for him, but don't normally read it, I don't know what prompted me to read it today.

There are loads of transactions for apple.com/bill

Multiple transactions per day, ranging from £0.99 to £19.99. I added them up and it comes to over £700 in the last month, which seems like a crazy amount of money.

What is this? App purchases? Gambling? Is there anything legitimate that this could be?

I feel bad for having looked, it's none of my business, we have separate finances, but what if it's a problem?

We each pay some bills (nothing in joint names) but I'm due to start maternity leave in the next couple of days, I can't afford to cover 'his' bills if something odd is going on.

Any ideas? Please tell me there is a reasonable explanation.

My husband was very sweet about it but also thought I'd been an idiot. I'd make him do the maths, I bet he hasn't and see if he'll stop then.

Ask him!

Fgs just ask him.

You n ed to ask him.

£1700 in two months on in app purchases and you don't want to say anything in case he's pissed off that you glanced at his bank statement

You should ask. If he's expecting you to put away his paperwork then he's not exactly trying hard to hide anything from you. So either

• he's been hacked and it needs pointing out or
• he's fully aware he's spending this much on this thing which could be family money and it needs pointing out or
• he's not realised the amount of money going out on this game (or whatever) and needs it pointing out or
• he's taking you for a total fool and is hiding his financial bad behaviour in plain sight and it needs pointing out.

I hope it's all legit. Good luck

I’d talk to him about it.
It’s a huge amount of money going out over the month. If it is in-app spending then it’s a habit that’s getting out of control.

You could start a conversation by saying the amount caught your eye when you were filing his paperwork, and you’re worried that someone’s hacked into his account.

@zafferana good point I hate conflict but I think I need to toughen up.

It's definitely in app purchases. You need to discuss this with him in case it's fraud and not him. So it's fraud or he's got an addiction. Either way it needs addressing.

And presumably he knows you file his paperwork, so it’s not like he’s been making an effort to hide anything, or like you’re invading his privacy by glancing at his statements.

What's this App that he plays on so much?

Even if it's game purchases, fuck me, could he not get a less expensive 'hobby'?

Presumably if it's £700 on lots of small transactions it runs into several pages so you could say you looked at it because you were surprised how many sheets there were/was checking that there wasn't anything else that had got in there by mistake.

Gosh, his monthly average spend on this is more than a lot of people's mortgages.

Wtaf?

I can't even fathom spending £1k on a game, that's ridiculous. If you quite often file his paperwork anyway just say that you couldn't help but notice it, and see what he says. For those vast sums of money I would not just let it go or tie yourself in knots trying to figure it out.

You're having a baby and he has spent £1700 on in-app game purchases.

It's too late to not have kids with him but omg, you need to sort something out.

What is your financial plan with the baby? You say you pay some bills each and the rest of your money is your own. That doesnt work with a baby. Who will be paying for everything that child will need for the next 18 years? How will your bills be covered when on maternity and reduced pay? Or are you to just scrimp by (because of a joint child) while he keeps his thousands?

His are you planning to split future costs to ensure the child is taken care of and you still have some money each?

And what about the future? Do you both have pensions and savings? If something in your house broke, who would end up paying for that if he spends all his money like this?

You really need to sit down and sort this out; you both deserve spending money, but he needs to be putting money towards the child. Will he?

Apple send emails to confirm every purchase so it seems unlikely he doesn’t know about this.
It sounds to me as though a gambling app might be likely.

It's an in app purchase but.. could be fraud. If it's legit it's a lot of money to squirrel away on.. rubbish.
I'd definitely ask.

Sounds like an addiction - You must talk to him today

What about family holidays. That could pay for a holiday for you all.

What is he playing at? Unless you are properly rich, what he has done is just horrible.

I've had a few £7.99 purchases from
Apple recently - no email invoice from them and no idea what they re for. I used the chat function to speak to apple - they had no idea either and were totally unhelpful

Is it not just Apple Pay? Where you tap your phone to pay for things rather than getting your card out?

Does he earn enough to cover that sort of spending? If not you maybe need to think about where the money is coming from, maybe ask about loans etc.

No it's not Apple Pay because that comes out as a normal debit card purchase on your bank statement. Not apple.