Misconceptions people have about you

[Poetryinaction]

Do you find people assumenthings about you? I get this a lot. Just silly things. Like, people assume I love stationery. I don't. I think it's useful to carry a biro but I couldn't care less what it looked like, and I haven't carried a pencil case for the past 20 years.

That being a goth means you want attention. So therefore it's okay to shout insults, spit at me or laugh in my face when I'm just walking past, apparently it's a free for all to make a point about my appearance. I was attacked in a busy city centre as a teenager and not one person stopped to help. Broken nose.
I was egged by passengers in a car when heavily pregnant. I was just walking to the local shop.

That I don't swear and might be offended by swearing. This is at work. I quite often get an 'oh, sorry Pelleas!' from someone who's accidentally dropped an F-bomb. The fact is that I don't swear at work in case it might offend someone, but I swear quite readily at home and I'm not offended in the slightest by others swearing.

That I’m nice. I actually can’t stand most people.

That I’m ‘foreign’ (from a variety of countries/ethnic backgrounds)
People actually argue with me when I say I’m white british (as are all family I know of)
I don’t care but it’s very odd to think I wouldn’t know where I/my parents are from

That I'm sane.

Female doctor. Look a lot younger than I am. Three times last week I was assumed to be a nurse despite wearing a very obvious set of scrubs vs nurses uniform and wearing a stethoscope and badge...the assumptions are remarkable

Guy I used to work with used to tease me about being miss sweet and innocent. I had mentally done all sorts with him on the boardroom table but thankfully he obviously wasn’t a mind reader!!

That I'm not confident just because I'm not an out and out gobshite. I believe in myself, I just quietly go about my business.

That we're Green voters and big environmentalists, because we choose not to have a car. We're in London so it's not actually difficult, but it's unusual where we live. I'd never vote Green.

That is terrible indem ... No one should be targeted for their appearance or any factor for that matter!

Another one - people are often surprised to learn that I smoke. I've often had people comment 'You don't look like a smoker!' I'm a very non-tactile person and have always tended towards what would now be called 'social distancing' otherwise they'd probably have smelled my 20 a day habit on me.

Oh and some (most) seem to assume that I'm intelligent.

Also had a lady training me in at work mention to me at about 10am 'there's cake in the kitchen' (people did that a lot - bring cakes back from wherever they had been or on their birthdays) and I said something like 'Oh I think it's a bit early for cake for me'. She then goes 'I can tell from looking at you that nothing unwholesome passes your lips'. Well.... if 6 pints of Guinness of an evening is wholesome, then I guess you're correct. I didn't enlighten her as to my secret alcohol problem lol.

That I've had a wild past and lots of lovers.

Only slept with two men, one of whom I've been married to for 20 years. I was a virgin until I was 27 and felt ashamed of this so sort of implied a racy backstory without any detail.

That I'm quite posh and boring, especially at work. Since my cheating XH left four years ago I've had a wild old time and have several stories for the old people's home that make me chuckle already

Colleagues assume I'm a bit prudish and very serious. Had an audible gasp from someone when I swore once and a shocked "you just swore" whispered at me

Yes, I seem to have people thinking I don't swear, too. Little do they know.

I also have people thinking I'm a soft touch, but my DC can tell you I can be ruthless when I need to be. Like when planning and leaving my abusive ex. He didn't know I was planning to leave with the DC until he came home that day and found us gone... DC chose to come with me.

People seem to assume I am vegetarian - I have no idea why!

Yes, I get this too @CeibaTree. It baffles me.

That I’m posh and have money.

Neither is true and it’s getting tedious. I’m a single mum with a 10yo car and a mortgage.

The last reason given for believing I’m posh is I don’t like reality tv.

That for my job I’m a landlady of a pub and I’ve had 4 people say that to me since I was 23

That I'm angry, I frown a lot apparently, when actually I'm just anxious.

People also assume I'm French. I'm English living in England.

Oh, and that I'm really hardworking. Actually I have a good work/ life balance and rarely get stressed.

I started a new job in Feb and since then a few colleagues have given me the impression they think I am stupid. We have done lockdown quizzes and I have got many answers correct and they have openly expressed surprise at this. In over 25 years of working this is the first time I have experienced this and I don't mind saying it has really pissed me off!

For some bizarre reason people seem to think

a) I want to listen to their drivel

b) I care

I don't.

That I'm poor because I live in the rough end of town. Reality is my outgoings are very low and I'm not struggling at all.

When I'm dressed up (ironed clothing and decent shoes) people think I'm a solicitor or other professional. When I'm in work kit they think I'm stupid.
Very occasionally, someone gets the idea that I'm biddable. None of these are true.