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Original poster

Facing an entire weekend alone.

122 replies

Lonelylockdown22 · 05/06/2020 18:28

I was at work yesterday, day off today. Not in until Monday now. That will mean three whole days completely alone. I won't see a single other person until I go to work on Monday. My life is so unbearably lonely.

OP posts:
littlemeitslyn · 05/06/2020 22:24

Well have spent the last 30 years alone. I have 2 cats!!

inthekitchensink · 05/06/2020 22:24

Loneliness is hard OP, I’m sorry Flowers
Purpose & meaning can help to an extent, but if you’re depressed it’s near impossible to find that. People will try to fix it, but please be kind to yourself & focus gently on what and how you’d like to change things after lockdown

thisislovelyme · 05/06/2020 22:27

Is there anyone at all you could reach out to OP? A sibling/cousin/school friend? Even if you haven't spoken for a decade it's completely acceptable right now to message them and say "I could really do with a chat, fancy a zoom some time?". In these weird times people are doing exactly that because many of us are alone for the first time. The way you feel is normal and you aren't alone in that lots of people are in the same situation. Pick three randoms, even if you barely know them, and reach out. Just try it!

lifestooshort123 · 05/06/2020 22:28

Some people have gone weeks or months without seeing anyone at all, so I don’t think you’re doing too bad
You've missed the point. The OP has said that being on her own every weekend makes her feel incredibly lonely - it's not a competition as to how long others have spent on their own.
OP, I agree with posters who suggested you split each day into manageable chunks with something to do in each chunk. When you go out for your walk, you could aim for the busiest part of town, sit at the end of one of the benches and people watch - if someone sits at the other end engage them in conversation (since lock down, people are much more approachable). If you're shy just say 'shame about the weather' (and smile) or 'it seems quiet here today' - don't worry if they don't pick up on it, try again in the queue for the supermarket. Stay outdoors as long as you can. Life will get better for you but it's a difficult time to join clubs etc. Good luck.

thisislovelyme · 05/06/2020 22:30

Oh and don't think "I can't message them, they have children, they will be too busy... " Most of us with children love saying "mummy is busy, mummy is on zoom with a friend" 😁

exhaustedtomato · 05/06/2020 22:41

I live alone and haven't seen a single person since I was made to isolate in march. I think a weekend is easily achievable IMO

ilovesooty · 05/06/2020 22:43

@exhaustedtomato

I live alone and haven't seen a single person since I was made to isolate in march. I think a weekend is easily achievable IMO
Another unhelpful post. It's not a competition. No wonder the OP hasn't come back.
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 05/06/2020 22:56

I agree sooty

There are some really awful comments on here, talk about kicking someone when they're down.

5MikesOut · 05/06/2020 22:56

I live alone and haven't seen a single person since I was made to isolate in march. I think a weekend is easily achievable IMO

I live alone and until this week also haven’t seen anyone. It’s achievable but that doesn’t mean it’s not lonely or ive not felt envious of family and friends with partners and kids still at home. I remember at the beginning of my life on my own, walking in the park at the weekend and feeling beyond jealous of couples and families and friends walking together. Eleven years on i nave friends to go with (under normal circumstances) but I don’t forget just how isolated and bleak it felt to feel truly alone in a new area and feeling depressed and on the periphery of society.

Ginfordinner · 05/06/2020 23:07

There are some really awful comments on here, talk about kicking someone when they're down.

I agree.

I live alone and haven't seen a single person since I was made to isolate in march. I think a weekend is easily achievable IMO

Bully for you.

midnightstar66 · 05/06/2020 23:58

Dc started going to their dads EOW around this time last year. I love getting a takeaway, browsing social media, watching Netflix and generally being antisocial. It lasts up to a week or more in the holidays. Embrace it OP or arrange otherwise

Notcontent · 06/06/2020 00:03

I can understand how you feel OP. I have had weekends like that. As another person said, this is not how I thought my life would turn out... I think planning chores and treats is a good way to deal with it. I find if I sit down and start thinking about how lonely and shifty I feel, then it escalates and I find it hard to shake myself out of it.

It is hard.

Nospringchickendipper · 06/06/2020 00:04

I'm really shocked at some of these comments on here. Please be kind if you can't think of anything positive to say don't say anything.
I've read a beautiful thread tonight on mumsnet that made it worth while being on mumsnet but this thread is the opposite of that.Shame on you.

LuckyAmy1986 · 06/06/2020 01:59

I’m also really shocked at some of the the responses on here. So insensitive and unnecessary.

Macca84 · 06/06/2020 08:44

Morning OP. Please ignore some of the responses on here, I totally get what you're saying and you're entitled to feel shitty about feeling lonely. I hear ya Flowers

Ohlordysugarandspice · 06/06/2020 09:23

I've spent 11 weeks alone.

Auldspinster · 06/06/2020 09:30

I've been on my own for 3 months, am absolutely fine in spite of suffering from severe anxiety.

Ginfordinner · 06/06/2020 09:41

It's the Four Yorkshire Men all over again Hmm

UnaCorda · 06/06/2020 09:51

I've spent 11 weeks alone.

I've been on my own for 3 months, am absolutely fine in spite of suffering from severe anxiety.

I live alone and haven't seen a single person since I was made to isolate in march.

Well have spent the last 30 years alone.

FFS. How are any of these responses helpful to the OP?

FlowerArranger · 06/06/2020 09:55

I will admit that I haven't read the full thread. I'm sure there are lots of useful suggestions, as well as some less useful ones. May I add my tuppence worth?

You have no hobbies? Well, find some. At a very low point in my life, I got myself a basic selection of acrylics and a couple of canvasses. Totally life-changing! Creativity I didn't know I had started pouring out. Via YouTube I found online friends with similar interests.

Years earlier, similar experience with music. More recently, cat rescue and fostering. The point is to engage with things that mean something to you. Friendships will follow. You are not the only Eleanor Rigsby! There are people out there wanting to connect, but they won't come floating into your life unless you reach out.

In the meantime, plan your days. Exercise (YouTube has some excellent workouts), shopping, a nice walk, watching some of the excellent events being streamed online (National Theatre, Wigmore Hall, Met Opera, ROH, ENO - there is so much!! Every major European orchestra, opera, theatre company etc are streaming 😎).........

And perhaps reach out to people? You are not the only one who finds lockdown difficult. Some of my closest friendships are the result of my 'reaching out'. Be courageous! The worst that can happen is a non-response.

NB: The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Barden is a good read.

Patch23042 · 06/06/2020 10:14

There is a lack of sensitivity here. The problem isn’t how to fill a weekend, it’s abject loneliness. Even if museums and cinemas etc were open, going to these places alone when almost everyone else is there with a partner, kids, mates - that’s depressing. So the supermarket/a walk won’t help.

Reminds me of the infertility thread years ago where the OP was told that she was lucky because she could have cream carpets. Not malicious, but embarrassingly tone-deaf.

sashh · 06/06/2020 10:33

OP

You soound like you don't want to be in the situation you are in now, what you need is a route to something different.

What would your ideal weekend be like?

Lockdown is making things more difficult but not impossible.

Is there something you would like to be able to do? Knit, cook, pick locks (yep I once spent a weekend learning how to pick locks).

Assuming you are fit and healthy then would you consider volunteering? Animal shelters have not closed and often need people to exercise dogs, feed the cats etc.

My local hospice has volunteers who do nothing but make beds.

Saturday jobs are not just for teenagers.

Write a list of things you would like to do, do not exclude anything, even if it is 'walk on the moon' put down simple things like going for a walk and things like your dream holiday location.

Come back to this thread with your list and let the MN hive mind come up with some ideas.

Since lockdown there has been a lot more activity with birds and squirrels and I'm ridiculously happy watching the animal world go on.

WinnieWonder · 06/06/2020 10:42

OP, you need to learn to ''come home to you''. I've sat with the discomfort over the years. I wasn't introverted, I was an extravert but I totally lacked any sense of myself. Use the time alone to work on your fears.

I'm listening to an audible right now. Sitting in bed and enjoying listening to the voice. I can imagine putting this on more loudly as I clean up. I'm not unhappy alone, but I want to be braver and I want to step out of my comfort zone more easily, and I feel that a bit of fearlessness is where the answers lie for. So I'm working through that ......... when I can.

Good luck. I think it's really natural to feel how you feel.

Number3or4 · 06/06/2020 10:51

Look for part time jobs or volunteering opportunities that involves interacting with people or animals. Like for example being a career on zero hour contract. You might need to wait for a dbs. Or become a dog walker (I don’t know if you would need qualification for this). I find animals can lift my mood up much faster.

TwentyViginti · 06/06/2020 11:21

OP find your local FB group and say you've recently moved, any suggestions for nice local walks etc; start conversations and see where they lead! also check out Local on MN.

I'm alone, but not lonely, but I have had utterly lonely times in my life, so I do understand.