Anti dementors visit the zombie beach

[BarkandCheese]

New thread! Hope the title is acceptable.

fartingsparkles sounds like you're really struggling

People keep saying "yeah well what about the war?" Yes, I have studied the war too, and people were allowed human contact, hugs, school, friends, sex etc. It's nothing like the war! And after the war, the nation's mental health was shot to bits, but we don't mention that bit.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel Yup - nephew has just got into more competitive Russell Group uni, so if he deferred there's a real risk he would lose place. Also, lives in depressed northern town with no work opportunities at the best of times, so what on earth would he do for a year?? It's really shit.

I'm interested to see what happens about the play area, as round here things seem pretty relaxed. O saw a little party with school age children with balloons and bunting in the park the other day under some trees, the mums chatting. Groups of mums sitting with babies another time.

I have asked a mother whose child is there already any idea if it being used or not to get an idea. Maybe it is best not to ask and just go for it, who knows. The Year 6s usually just play football there which should be OK.

I'm unsure if parents need to take them to school when they walk themselves usually as well. Might just go the first day I suppose.

I feel like I am screaming internally today. The absolute confidence with which people/media talk about measures being in place for months or even years - when the facts show most are not even warranted now- is driving me completely insane.
Why are people so passive (or worse, complicit) in the loss of so so much?

I think we need to maybe take all that with a pinch of salt and remember it is just opinions and not facts. Remember all the catastrophising about a no deal brevet and the constant media speculations of 'in the case of a no deal brexit X will happen" No one cares about that anymore but that was a huge thing last year

I think we might need to care about a no deal Brexit again soon. It’s just drowned out by COVID

I do feel that we have a new battle as the virus rates fall. The battle will be in getting freedoms back and in people who love having someone else (the government) decide every move for them.

Looking forward I can imagine in 5 years time that there will be people still not wanting to go out/increased levels of anxiety in children of people obsessed with following government rules and guidance/children generally and a new fearfulness in some of the adult population. It's as if some have reverted to childhood again, not happy unless everything is spelt out to them and still not happy after that.

Thanks for the link, TheGreatWave. Long ago, before the world turned upside down, I spent a lot of time with the elderly. I know that 2/3 of care homes have no cases of Covid and have heard that some managers have a terrible time trying to convince doctors not to put Covid on the death certificate of patients who didn't display any particularly Covid symptoms in a home where no cases are suspected. The attitude among some doctors, who haven't necessarily even set eyes on the patient, seems to be 'well, I might as well put Covid'.

It also seems that a lot of elderly people are dying at home, including in care homes as they are discouraged from sending patients to hospital, and, often are afraid they'll pick up Covid in the hospital. Apparently deaths in care homes for the week ending May 22 is 62% higher than the five year average. If no visitors are allowed to the dying in hospital, it's probably better if they do die in familiar surroundings with people they know around, saved aggressive interventions, although it's sad for the care homes.

Neil Ferguson reckons that he is 'less certain about what may happen in September' but that transmission 'should' stay 'relatively flat' until then. So, hands up who thinks keeping children and adults out of school until September is a good idea, then.

Is it even smart to keep any degree of lockdown going over the summer? I can't believe there's much appetite to stay more or less like this for months with the risk of tightening after September just as the weather declines. Specially as the vast majority of transmission seems to be in hospitals and care homes.

I do get cross about people mentioning the Second World War. My Grandma said that it was a terrible time but everyone else seemed to forget about that. Interestingly, one of the worst things about it was being told off for breaking rules that some random had completely made up (a bit like now).

@HesterShaw1

fartingsparkles sounds like you're really struggling

People keep saying "yeah well what about the war?" Yes, I have studied the war too, and people were allowed human contact, hugs, school, friends, sex etc. It's nothing like the war! And after the war, the nation's mental health was shot to bits, but we don't mention that bit.

Dear gods the war stuff pisses me off. Mum and her sisters got the shit bombed of them. Mum was in charge the night their house was destroyed as she was the eldest - both grandparents were on a night shift. My aunties mental health ever recovered - even 60 years later she struggled. I’m not sure any of them did fully get over it. Grandad was affected when I knew him in the 70s. And as you say, they still hugged, saw friends and had human contact. Its nothing like it!

Well, it’s a cold, grey wet miserable day oop north.
Now what is everyone going to do with the ‘ little darlings’ now there’s no libraries, cinemas, swimming pools, indoor play areas open and every day isn’t a school day.

What am I going to do with myself now we won’t be sat on the patio to have lunch before going to the beach.

Well I could start with cleaning my floors and making a gf and df cake.
Things I’ve put off in the heat wave.
I bet my grandson is pleased to be going back to work today ( McDonald’s) eventhough it is his birthday, just to have something a bit different.

What are you all up to?
Have you got warmth and sunshine..god I crave it, don’t I ?

Cold and wet here too (Midlands). Been stuck in one room with 3DC and a dog all morning while someone tries to fix our shower!
DD1 is back at school tomorrow. I sense that some of the parents who have said no are already wavering, especially faced with the prospect of rain for the next 10 days. Anyway DD1 is in a group with her 3 best friends so she’s happy! Now to dig out her school uniform...

So true about the war. My grandpa was front line in the war as well as captured. He never really spoke about it as it was so awful. He also never got over looking someone in the eye before killing them. It’s completely different.

When DM talks about her childhood in the war, the conversation involves her wider family, or freedom to go off and play. Fair enough my DCs don't have to worry that they might be bombed out of a third home, but even in air raids, communities came together for shelter.

My GGD basically died from his war injuries 20+ years later. He sustained life changing head injuries causing much pain and trauma to himself and the family for the rest of his life (and theirs) until he couldn't live with it anymore. It's easy to romantisise the 1950s as a domestic bliss, but it was a thin facade over the deep cracks of separation and trauma for many families.
This type of situation is what I had in mind when I made a pessamistic prediction about the long term toll on young people's mental health from prolonged isolation, loss of support and being trapped with abuse compared to the hazard that C19 presents to that age group.

With the timing of lockdown, health and distance, my DCs haven't seen extended family since Christmas (I have during a hospital vist) Elderly relatives are keeping themselves isolated. My children aren't choosing between school/ friends and grandparents.... basically they have none of them accessible. I'm not brilliantly connected to their parents and group chats have gone dead. I know the balance of opinion on returning year groups was negative. Ds1 is a sit and minecraft with a chosen friend type. DS2 is a run around physical type. I'm happy to social distance, but wouldn't enforce it on playing children, I think it's unnecessarily stressful and for DS1, it's a rule that I don't want to stick permanently. He already has enough issues with socialising.

It’s pissing down here in the south too.

I am actually not sorry to see some rain. Pony’s field desperately needs it and our old lady struggles on hard ground so hopefully it’ll rain just enough to soften the ground up a bit and get the grass going again.

Plus, I don’t have to water the veggie patch tonight

Re: the war, my grandfather was at the liberation of Belsen - he never spoke about it, he wasn’t the same man when he returned. My mother’s childhood was blighted by it. It’s nothing like the war

@Hester thank you, I'll get over myself :) I just hate the 'suck it up' dementor chant. No, it's wrong, and I do not want to be complicit in a society that treats its people in such a way.

I have said the same about the 'well, ww2.." prats too. A completely different situation. I am the child of 2 war babies and live near a badly affected city, and it's a period of history that I have always been interested in. My nana worked, moved in with her sister to help with her kids, met, dated and married my grandfather and had my mum. Social contact, especially with those we live is vital, even more so in times of stressful situations.

I'm worried about the sheer amount of bills parliament is passing at the moment. The Corporate Insolvency and Governance Bill will go through all remaining stages today. By the time they've queued and voted, what is there for meaningful scrutiny? A lot of this isn't temporary legislation either and some is even retrospective. I'm getting very worried about the state of our democracy.

Allison Pearson's article in the Telegraph today is great and sums up exactly how I feel. Hope this link works:
www.telegraph.co.uk/women/politics/refuse-abide-bonkers-rules-longer/

Do you think the same people who usually say ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ in normal times are the ones saying ‘you chose to have kids, you have to suck up having to look after them with no nursery/school/extended family/friends/social contact’ now?

Of course it is wales
My grandparents fought in ww1
Never knew a thing about it till I found their medals just a few years ago.
The only family member alive now who lived through the war is my aunt, ( mums sister) aged 94 with dementia. The only comparison with the war is I’ve inherited their strong spirit and their will to push through whatever obstacles lie in the way...but no , this is nothing like the war we aren’t living in fear of a real enemy who is bombing and shelling us to death.
My grandmas house took a direct hit, where my family was I don’t know but the bomb landed in their living room. Dad was only 13 when it started and was probably fighting off scarlet fever round about then.
Certainly his education ended at 14 which is why it’s so important to get the children back to school.
His lack of further education held him back no end.
I think that generation would be appalled at what’s happening now.

My gf and his brother were evacuated from London. But not until after a lot of the bombing. He and his friends were used as "parts recovery". They had to crawl through the little gaps in the rubble of bombed out houses and retrieve the body parts. After being evacuated, he and his brother were separated. He was ok, but his brother was sexually abused by the people who took him in. He became a recluse in adulthood.

This is not a time period I want to use as a yardstick.

So in years to come, when I'm a Grandmama, and my grandchildren ask me, wide-eyed, if I've ever broken the law, I shall say Why yes my darlings, I have. In the Great Overreaction of 2020, your step-grandpapa and I deliberately broke the law so that we could be together.

Oh yes me too! Aunty Hester, what did you do in the Time of Coronavirus? Well, actually I didn't do much except count the days away and watch my hard earned cash evaporate. I tried to sign up for NHS volunteering but given that there was nothing for volunteers to actually do in this area on account of the tiny number of infections, I didn't get given any "tasks". I used to meet my boyfriend for a bit of non State sanctioned shagging when we could arrange it.

Dh’s father also liberated one of the camps.
He was a good bit older than dh’s mum . Dh said his dad never spoke about it either . I’m rather glad my father wasn’t in the army. I at least had a lovely normal 50s childhood .
I don’t think dh and his dad had a very good relationship. Wasn’t awful, but I get the impression they weren’t close.
Nope, this is nothing like the war.

I think the only way this is comparable to the war is that, people like us probably will try and block it out in the future (unhealthy, but probable) and not talk about it because we are simply too sad and possibly ashamed that we wont want to even think about it.

My great grandad would NOT talk about the war. He would tell you little snippits that were nice (he was a guard at a prisoner of war camp at one point and he kept things they made he would show us those and tell us that he would swap them for fags, lighthearted stuff) but he would not tell you about the bad things. He saw a lot of shit. He probably had PTSD looking back at it.

I cant imagine talking to my child, or grandchildren about this shit show and pretending that it was great because the community came together, and i would get no joy from telling them the truth. I suspect as time goes on i will blank it out from my memory.

Dowser I have been to Boyes. Oh my life is good