It wasn’t wind... it was a baby!

[Ohshitx]

So here’s part 2 (which is crazy to me)

There isn’t really an update as such I should hear today or tomorrow regarding a scan. I’ve got the MW again on Thursday and I suppose this week will be the week of grand reveals.

I’m sorry if I disappear for a day at a time I’m still trying to wrap my own head around this.

Really feeling for you @Ohshitx . would you find it easier sharing the news by writing it down in a letter, or making a recording so don't have to worry about getting interrupted? I just feel your mind will then be able to focus on next steps once others know; at the moment you're either thinking about sharing the news, or trying not to, which must be exhausting. However you do it, do it the right way for you. Sending love xxx

OP, I cant imagine how you must be feeling, you must be in such shock.

Do you have a relationship with your mum where she would be able to reassure you, or if not a good friend? Just to share the load with someone in real life, you might not feel as overwhelmed.

Take care of yourself

Have read the first thread.

Can't imagine what your going through.

Oh OP I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult this is for you! I totally understand your fears for telling DS but at his age he's able to have some level of understanding and ask questions, you need to be honest with him. It will change things for him but honestly it can be such a positive experience, he will be a big brother, that is so exciting!

@Ohshitx

Ramble away...

I honestly think you just need to bite the bullet and tell FWB

You are worrying about telling him, it's causing you stress & that's not good for you. You have to tell him at some stage and it's not going to get any easier, it'll just get harder the longer he's been back as he might, quite rightly, be upset you didn't tell him as soon as you could.

I think the anxiety/dread in advance is often worse than the event/conversation/goodbye. It definitely is for me. I cope MUCH better with the 'thing' when it actually happens that the worry about it in advance

Do you know yet what part you would want him play in your/your baby's life if you could choose?

Oh and to a PP there's a difference between a fuck buddy (FB) and a friend with benefits (FWB)

I think working out what you need from Him in advance is a good idea.

Mentally prepare for all possible responses:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Support
4. Shock
5. Overwhelming ‘support’

And decided what you would do in each of those scenarios. This might help you to feel more prepared. I would advice limiting contact with him for your own good and looking into CSA claims if the reaction isn’t no. 3.

To FWB "I've got some news that I found shocking..." Then give him some time to process.

To your mum "I've got some surprising news..."

To your DS "I've got some exciting news..."

Good luck. I've been following with interest. I hope it all goes well.

Once you tell your Mum, the heavy weight will go from your shoulders. The thought is worse than the act
I'm sure your Mum will support you

I’m not sure if I missed the place where OP mentioned her fabulous relationship with her mother, but not every woman has a mum who loves them unconditionally, and will support her come what may.

Obviously it was probably be fine, but for crying out loud, telling your mum is not a magical solution for everyone. She needs as broad a support network as possible, and if one person cannot handle it, there need to be others to step up. Be that professional, or personal.

Would it be better to tell him via text - something like; “I’ve been trying to find the words, and of course wanted to tell you in person. But last week I found out I was Pregnant. It’s yours, of course. I’ve had a few days to process this news, and I k ow it’s a lot for you to take I .” Please text me back or call me

Sorry you're struggling OP. I think you really need to tell someone in real life.

We're all here in support of you.

Poor OP. I can't even imagine this I myself as a mother of an only dc 7yo all my actions are designed around just the one. To add a newborn into this now would be hard.
But op not impossible!

Tell your ds maybe. Then let him accidentally let slip to your mum. Pressure off. Fwb can wait. Don't feel bad. Look after yourself.

🥰

I’m a wimp so I would text both the dad and mum and say something like, ‘just found out that I’m pregnant. Due soon’. And hide your phone for a couple of days. I’m not very grown up though.
For your son, you need it to come from you. He needs to be told first. The start of awkward conversations is always the hard bit but you won’t know what reaction he will give until you start. Give him time and space. He might surprise you. They all might.

@lborgia

I’m not sure if I missed the place where OP mentioned her fabulous relationship with her mother, but not every woman has a mum who loves them unconditionally, and will support her come what may.

Obviously it was probably be fine, but for crying out loud, telling your mum is not a magical solution for everyone. She needs as broad a support network as possible, and if one person cannot handle it, there need to be others to step up. Be that professional, or personal.

Yes, you missed it. Read the first thread.

She's 99.9% sure her mum will be supportive

You really, really need to tell the father. He has got a right to know.

I know a lady who had 4 children, she was done having children and asked several times to be sterilised and was refused. Then she found out she was 6 months pregnant again. She loved the baby of course but she was very angry that the choice had been taken away from her, both because of the refusal to sterilise her and of finding out so late. Like you, she likely would've kept the baby anyway but it was the being forced into the situation with no choice that was hard.

Be kind to yourself OP. Of course the dad needs to know but you need to get your head around it first, it's you that's going through it all. It's massive news and you'll still be in shock, just take it one day at a time.

In your own time OP. Seek some support via your midwife. Your NHS trust may well have a pathway of support for just this situation.

Bless you, no doubt it will be a huge shock for your Mum & the dad but that’s not your fault! You’ve had a huge shock too. I worried about telling my son I was pregnant but someone just advised me to let him ask as many questions as he wanted. He didn’t really ask many! Children will view things from their POV & how it affects them. If you tell him it’s exciting & he’s going to be an amazing big brother, he will probably believe you. If you tell him how much you love him & that you need him to be a big boy & help Mummy maybe? I imagine he has no concept of how long a pregnancy is or how long you normally wait between finding out there’s a baby in Mummy’s tummy & baby arriving. My son got so excited when I first told him but then got very bored when nothing happened for months, he didn’t get that at all! Obvs we don’t know anything about your relationship with your Mum or the dad so really hope there isn’t more to it that makes you worried to tell them. So much love & support for you on this thread, I’m sure real life will be the same xx

I was on the other thread actually.

This isn’t Eastenders, NoSauce, it’s an actual person’s life. I appreciate it’s hard for some people to make that distinction, bless.