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Original poster

It wasn’t wind... it was a baby!

999 replies

Ohshitx · 01/06/2020 08:10

So here’s part 2 (which is crazy to me)

There isn’t really an update as such I should hear today or tomorrow regarding a scan. I’ve got the MW again on Thursday and I suppose this week will be the week of grand reveals.

I’m sorry if I disappear for a day at a time I’m still trying to wrap my own head around this.

OP posts:
ButtonMoonLoon · 03/06/2020 20:07

Have you told anyone yet?
I really think you will feel better once you have.
Also.....from a safety/back up point of view and having someone on standby for your son should you need monitoring at any point, I think it’s important you have that support in place.

Crikey0000 · 03/06/2020 20:12

I agree, you should talk to someone IRL. You alone knows who the best person is, but I think it will help you to let someone know what's happening.

darlingsweetpea · 03/06/2020 20:18

I hope there is someone irl you can share this with as it's a very big secret to keep.

StealthMama · 03/06/2020 20:37

@Ohshitx I think telling people in your mind is worse then it how will be in real life. Yes they will be shocked, at first, but is it possible fwb wouldn't mind more commitment from you anyway - given how you describe your contact he actually seems quite keen..?

Why not tell your mum first, you know she'll be stoked once it sinks in and you can talk things through with her 💐

You'll feel better when you start sharing, people will want to help you x

AllTheWhoresOfMalta · 03/06/2020 20:37

Oh wow this is mad! Congratulations!

Mumto1andthetinybun · 03/06/2020 20:45

Wow this is nuts. Hope everything goes well.

Blackbear19 · 03/06/2020 20:56

Ohshitx, I'd phone your friend, he is in this with you. I sincerely hope that he will be supportive. Its not too late get your DS into bed and phone your friend.

Regardless of your relationship, you are in this together.

InkogKneeToe · 03/06/2020 20:59

@Ohshitx could you afford to book a few private sessions with a counsellor to work out how you're feeling in your own mind? Most are doing sessions via Skype/zoom etc. Curren

charpley162 · 03/06/2020 21:10

@Ohshitx take your time, don't feel pressured to tell people if you don't want right now. If you need a couple more days to process it or even wait until the scan then so be it. You're doing great x

Dominoz · 03/06/2020 21:14

It's fine. You're doing a great job. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Do what feels right. Never feel ashamed though. Head high lady.

Blackbear19 · 03/06/2020 21:14

Forget spending money on councellors, tell the people who matter, because that still needs to happen regardless of what a councellor says. Once you've done that bit you can chill because once you've done it, there is something in the old saying a problem shared is a problem halved.

TiddlestheCat · 03/06/2020 21:43

@Ohshitx

Didn't you say that he usually calls you a couple of times a week and that you had managed to wriggle out of chatting to him last week? If so, surely there is a good chance that he will call you in the next day or so? In which case, wouldn't it be better for you to make the first move and set a time to call him? Because otherwise you'll either have to avoid his calls or will feel on edge/not knowing if/when he might call you. You're both in the same boat here. Perhaps it would help, knowing that you're both coming to terms with it at the same time.

HestersHouse · 03/06/2020 21:48

You don't sound to me like you need counselling. Just arrange to see him like you normally would and tell him. I think you'll feel better when you have and, once you've told him, it will be easier to tell the other significant people in your life. Personally, I prefer to do anything tricky in person.

timetest · 03/06/2020 21:49

My DD discovered she was pregnant at 32 weeks. She was just 6 weeks into her student study year abroad (USA). She had just a couple of days to get her head together and fly home as I don’t think her health insurance would have covered that!
The surprise bump is now 2 and loved and adored by us all.
Take a few days to catch your breath OP and do what you need to for yourself. You sound fabulous and the baby will lucky to have you as it’s mother.

IHateCoronavirus · 03/06/2020 21:55

Oh op, it is so much to get your head around. You can do this. You have 100s of mumsnetters cheering you on.
The thought of the teeny tiny feet kicking your ribs is making me clucky! I know that is probably unhelpful sorry. Blush

Apolloanddaphne · 03/06/2020 21:55

You can reframe this OP. Think you still have 9 weeks so plenty time to tell people and get organised. Get your head straight first and when you are ready let people know. Give yourself space to come to terms with it. You got this.

indecisivewoman81 · 03/06/2020 22:02

You must feel really scared.

I understand that when you tell people IRL it will really feel real. But it would be better to tell at least one person. Is your mum supportive in general?

At the moment you may feel like this is one big chaotic scenario and best to bury your head in the sand a bit.

Whatever you decide to do it will be ok. Your mum will be ok; you will be ok; your son will be ok.

WonkyDonkBonk · 03/06/2020 22:05

OP I'd imagine the first person you tell in real life will be the hardest and scariest. Perhaps you could tell someone you are less emotionally attached to first like a neighbour or another school mum? It might help you to get used to telling with less pressure over their reaction.

Please don't feel rushed and look after your mental well-being. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, the whole gamut of emotions I guess.

Thinking of you.x

Cocobean30 · 03/06/2020 22:08

Aww op I’m sure you’ll feel better once you tell your mum, it’s some of the mental load taken off you. Good luck

Okki · 03/06/2020 22:11

Congratulations- a little bundle of cuddles on its way.

Are you a person who finds lists helpful? Having something to tick off? A list of who to tell? The Dad, your Mum and Ds. The things you have to do/already done. Doc, midwife, scan. The practicalities of a baby. Pram, sleeping arrangements, clothes, nappies and stuff for however you choose to feed baby. Big brother/ sibling present if you want to do that.

My cousin's wife had two surprise babies. One the doctor diagnosed as wind and IBS - think she was 8 months when discovered she was pregnant. Second baby planned no probs and 3rd one was after vasectomy - again digestive issues diagnosed, but experience made her do a test and she was 4/5 months gone. For baby 1 and 3 she was on contraception and having periods.

I wish you all the very best for your future family.

callmeearly · 03/06/2020 22:14

OP just remember FWB is going to be shocked and he may not initially react well (I have all my fingers crossed that it goes well.)

You should probably have some RL support lined up just in case.

Good luck BrewCakeThanks

Ostagazuzulum · 03/06/2020 22:17

Oh OP you must be in such a state of shock. But honestly, it'll all work out in the end. Once your baby is here, lots of the worries will melt away and you'll be fine. Good luck with everything x

Dowser · 03/06/2020 22:53

Does dad not know yet?

Grandmi · 03/06/2020 23:40

Have been following this thread and I just want to say congratulations...you will be absolutely fine !! Try not to be too overwhelmed and as hard as this mountain seems to be to climb you will get there..💪💐X

Neednewwellies · 04/06/2020 00:29

Congratulations. Telling your mum is probably worse in your head than it will be in reality. You’re 30yrs old, already a mum and you have savings. You will be ok and she will undoubtedly be there for you. Your DS is at the age where he’ll be overjoyed. Plus, unlike under normal circumstances where siblings have a ridiculous long wait, his new brother or sister will be here soon.
FWB could go either way but if he walks away that will be his loss. If he is your age or older then who knows, maybe he’s ready for this in his life. Good luck.