Shielding chat continues - thread 2

[AuntieSocia1]

Shiny new thread for anyone shielding.

You can vent/moan/cry/chat/lurk whatever you need.

Oh - maybe they mean the NHS volunteers that got off the ground a few weeks ago. Fair dos.

My doctor asked me not to follow the new advice from the government.

@FuzzyPuffling

We've just been for a walk and I don't know if I shall ever feel safe going gout again. It juts all feels wrong and scary. And we live very rurally and have been sneaking out for a walk for the past couple of weeks to save or sanity. Today we saw about 8 people instead of 2 and I hated it. I realise that much of this is my head, but it will take me some time to feel even approaching normal.

I feel the same. I've been going out for a walk in the rural area where we live at quiet times for several weeks. Yesterday was far busier and it made me feel really nervous/uneasy. I haven't been out today.

Butterer I bet it felt weird but it’s good they did that. GoodSam/NHS Volunteers told me they would not take down my rubbish bags from my flat to the communal bins outside. Not sure how they expected me to get it there!

its confirmed now that i have arthritis in both hands. not a shock, its what i expected. Highly likely its linked to the CRPS ive had since i was 14. doctor will get back to me later this week with a treatment plan and ongoing managment arrangements :(

Thanks @Butterer. I tried my council but they just referred me back to GoodSam

@BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls

Kids homework has started to include "while on your daily walk" now too

Complain. Seriously. Schools have a lot on their plates right now but they should know that you are shielding and should be taking that into account. I work in education and schools are supposed to be considering vulnerable groups and that includes shielding families. Your kids don't need any more challenges, I'm sure.

I’m sorry, probably going against the grain here but seriously, you’re asking for someone to complain to the school?

Even though I’m shielding this really wouldn’t enter my head to complain!

Ds school don’t know I’m shielding, how would they know? I’m sorry but a bit of common sense is needed here.

Even the bloody Government have now said the shielders can go for a walk & they know who we are, supposedly!

School don’t need to know who is shielding for it to be insensitive. Although most should know so they can do their back to school planning.
Many people shielding are still not able to go for walks so schools should not assume.

I'd complain too @FuzzyPuffling .
Hugs to anyone that needs one - I'm sorry a few on here are having a bastard of a time x

I'm out on my first walk just now - the park is gloriously quiet and thankfully nobody's been anywhere near me. I haven't had to touch anything since I left the house. My friend says its getting busier here in the daytime but I guess the week of rain weve got coming up might damp that down again.

I think this is going to be my regular timeslot. IT IS SO NICE HAVING THIS MUCH OPEN SPACE (and people space!) AROUND ME !!!1!

Someone is having a 'festival' near me and by someone I mean the whole fucking estate next to us, it's so loud I could cry, actually no. I am crying. I'm at my lowest tbh and this is really getting to me, I'm usually such a laid back person the most they'd get is an eye roll but I'm done, totally done with the planet tbh.

I was coming on to say something similar Lucy. I'm an ex-teacher, now a (shielded and on furlough) TA. My wife is teaching live online - a full timetable! It's hard - really hard! She's been doing it for half a term now and every day is difficult... for her, for the children and for the parents of the children, who are often sitting with their children trying to support.

My wife has had a couple of 'complaints' along with mostly very positive messages from parents saying how brilliantly she is doing. They have been for very minor things (parents asking when work will be marked, complaining about the slides in a powerpoint etc) but they are enough to bring her right down at the moment when she is teaching in such weird and exceptional circumstances.

By all means mention that you can't do the daily walk and ask if there might be an alternative they can use - but please don't 'complain'! This is hard enough for everyone!

@BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls. I know everything is difficult at the moment and so it's easy for us to get offended at something. The school are probably just trying to mix it up a bit, find a different way for the children to work. It's probably not about what they see outside but how they write about it, the language they use.

When we had something impossible to do, like take the class teddy on holiday or someplace exciting we would try to think outside the box. He would end up going to the local fire station for instance, the lovely firefighters would show him off driving the fire engine. I appreciate you can't go out at the moment but if you have a garden could they do 'what I saw in my garden' or 'what I saw walking around my bedroom'.

I realise ultimately you're feeling sad that your children aren't doing what other children are. You maybe feel they're being left out. Although not easy, try to adapt.

Yeah that’s it - I’m more sad than offended, my DCs have been brilliant about not going anywhere and I don’t want their faces rubbed in it. If it had been the homework all along it probably wouldn’t have had the same effect, it’s just that it comes with the announcement that we can go out now and I’m back to feeling paranoid again. Like when I took them out early and the one of their teachers didn’t understand (they both know about my health so know why). I wouldn’t complain about the teachers anyway as the work didn’t come from them - it was a whole school task.

Bad day overall yesterday didn’t help. DP had a row with a family member about our wedding, as we have said even if things are “normal” we will be having minimal guests and the party at a later date. Family member was very much a know-it-all and said there was no need, shielding ends at the end of June and she knows all about it as her husband is shielding. DP said we are not taking any chances and family member basically called us paranoid.

Then we had another person insist they could come around to our house now. 🙄

Beyond - that all sounds mega stressful. I can relate to the school thing. My eldest has a project to walk as many steps as she can on a daily walk, record it and send it in. But hard when she’s shielding. So I emailed the school and bailed her on that one!! My youngest is missing out on yr6 transition for which she is devastated. Again it’s so hard. But I’ve come to realise, they’re not missing anything they know as normal. Because it isn’t normal. It’s a new way of life for everyone.
However that said, I had a real crash a couple of days ago when a family member said shielding isn’t much different that the rest of the population so why was I sad with it!! Made me cry - a lot!!
I cried not for what was happening or not happening. Instead it was for the fact that our little family had been included in this bracket. That what was happening to us, was real and we were at risk and ill. It was kind of realisation of something I try and normalise on a daily basis.

As for your family members being pushy..walk away. Save your strength for you lil family unit.

@Pebble21uk I have huge respect for teachers, even more so during these past 11 weeks. They have continued to work, even with their own set of circumstances at home, some like your dw have shielded partners, some have young dc at home, others are shielded themselves. We really should all be supporting each other and while I understand some people’s frustrations, complaining to a school about a well intentioned activity is not the way to go about it.

Ds school has over 2000+ pupils, how could they even begin to know everyone’s personal circumstances at home.

Morning everyone. Sorry I havent checked in with you all. I have been reading but havent felt able to post until now. Mentally have started to really struggle. I received dc2 school report from playgroup. Again it didnt say anything i didnt expect but its just so confronting seeing it all in black and white. The ed psych phoned to check in with me to see what i thought of her report and I have had the paediatrician and the SALT also on the phone. They are all submitting their reports to the education department SEN team now. As a parent we never want to think anything is wrong with our kids. It is so hard to see all these things written down about him. I know it is all for his benefit but just once I would like to hear something positive like the small steps he has made.

Then a family member said that it is not fair on the kids being stuck in the house all the time. They need to be out walking or on their bikes burning off energy. They dont understand and it is harder for them at their ages. Even if DC2 is out we would have to hold his hand at all times because he would run and has no awareness of danger. The paed agreed that we have to be his sense of danger because he has none. Family member said he needs to be let out to run somewhere free to burn energy and not holding someone hands. Take him to a park or something. Even if we werent shielding this wouldnt work. He would run and touch everything and run up to people. And then the next thing would be hands in the mouth or touching his face. He would have no concept of social distancing and he would never come back when called.

I honestly cant win.

My chest has been troubling recently too. I dont think the extra chlorphenamine is working. Want to call GP but worried they will say they need to see me to examine me. Have been in a covid ward already and dont want to risk going back. I think the fear of going out is alive and well in this house. We still havent left the house in 3 months. Any medical professional I have spoken to has said not to go out even for a socially distanced walk and to ignore the new government advice.

@OneNightTimeMenaceStrikesBack sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I have been struggling with pain and swelling in the small joints of my feet and more recently hands and wrists for many years. Still waiting for an appointment with rheumatologist and obviously that will all be on hold now even more so. I know it is sad to have been given the news but perhaps they will be able to provide a good management plan now to limit damage and look to manage pain for you.

@BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls I sympathise with you RE the schools. I feel exactly the same. Alot of the sugggested activities provided for my two have been about doing things on your daily walk. It just makes you feel that they are missing out because of you doesnt it? When i was at my lowest I called my best friend in the world who always knows what to say. She told me to think logically - if it was a choice between doing some educational activities on a walk or keeping healthy as a family and avoiding possible hospitalization or death of their mum then the kids would vote to have a mum to see them grow up. It helped me.

Sorry havent been able to respond to you all individually but my thumbs are getting sore!

Beyond - your poor dc. Please speak to the school, not to complain but to ask if any alternatives available. Children aren't stupid. My 5 year old gets upset when she sees other children walking to school (school at the end of our road). Anything the school can do will help

Flossie - people don't understand. My mum tried to tell me I was now OK to see her and said no I'm still sheilding. And she said but you're allowed out for a walk. Yes with people in my own household. Tried to explain that the guidelines put me where you were 10 weeks OK, I.e stay outside apart from an hours walk at the most. So if she wants to see me (or more importantly the grandchildren) she has got to imagine it will be in 10 weeks time. Tbh my transplant team warned me sheilding is likely to end of September (very depressing)

We too were told yesterday to take the gov’s new advice with a pinch of salt. And only go out somewhere where it is very isolated and with little
chance of meeting anyone.