Shielding chat continues - thread 2

[AuntieSocia1]

Shiny new thread for anyone shielding.

You can vent/moan/cry/chat/lurk whatever you need.

I went out for a run again today, and was really heartened that nearly everyone was being sensible about distancing, I think I must just have been unlucky in encountering such a high tosser count on Monday

My hay fever is really kicking in - usually it comes a bit earlier with tree pollen. At least I hope it’s hay fever. In ‘normal’ years I wouldn’t be taking my temperature twice a day through the whole damned pollen season

Though it did become my ‘new normal’ in diagnosis if I ever felt I might be coming down with something. I have a whole list of symptoms for which I have to ring in for urgent advice/admission, so that aspect hasn’t changed for me at all. (And given what people post about how 111 is/isn’t working at the moment, I think I’m quite glad I shouldn’t be using it)

@BeyondDreamsOfBeyondFourWalls

Kids homework has started to include "while on your daily walk" now too :(

I appreciate they don't know everyone's circumstances, but I understand why you are upset. I wouldn't complain but it might be worth mentioning that this is difficult in families where someone is shielding.

I had a similar situation with my HR dept who started sending out "helpful" mental health tips. They kept involving going out for exercise and/or fresh air - I'm shielding away from home in a flat without a garden. It made me feel really sad, and I'm a grown adult. I appreciate for the majority of employees this advice was spot on, but it really didn't help my mental health!

My sons homework today is a 'work in pairs' task. We've also had the 'what did you do in half term? Did you go for a walk or a picnic, visit granny or go to the beach? 🤦🏻‍♀️

We are the only family shielding in our tiny village school so I approached it with DS3 and DD as "silly Mr X! He must have forgotten we're not allowed outside at the moment, let's write about the cake we baked instead."

I understand the frustration though, everything is getting to me at the moment.

I'm hurting everywhere today, I'm curled up on the sofa with morphine and a hot water bottle.

Just checking in.

Having a really awful time (work).

They've asked me to go to a medical verification appointment (OH Assessment) and I am so stressed about having to use public transport to get there and back.

Sending huge empathetic hugs to everyone. Sounds like a lot of us are struggling at the moment. I think we all understood that life would get harder for us as it got easier for everyone else, and so it is proving. Friends sent us a photo of them at the local beach yesterday with their adult daughter, and said what a fab time they'd had. They are generally lovely people, but the lack of understanding of our position is hurtful. Still, it's raining today, we went for a walk up the lane and saw nobody. Much better!

@outnumberedwoman I know exactly what you mean! My son has complex needs and it is so disheartening when you feel like all the focus is on what they can’t do with no focus on the progress they have had to try so hard to make. I try and remind myself that these reports aren’t about DS as a child, the only purpose they serve is to help get him the support he needs so they need to see a ‘worst case scenario’.

Issues being highlighted and potential diagnosis is very hard. Again a diagnosis is a positive, it sign posts support and allows your DS to get the support he needs to make life as easy as possible for you all. One of our DC has an autism diagnosis but he was still autistic before having that ‘label’ it doesn’t change who he is.

We have always had a ‘expect the worst and hope for the best’ attitude to DS’ development. When he makes the tiniest achievements e.g pushing his arms through his T-shirt we feel so incredibly proud of him. Parenting a child with additional needs can be incredibly challenging and will be different but it is not ‘less’. We get so much joy from our LO he makes us smile everyday.

I hope you and your family are ok. It must be particularly hard at the moment!

@DragonTrainedByLucy

Who has called you in? And can you get it changed to a telephone consultation?

Because unless they need to draw blood, attach electrodes or do some other bodily testing, then it really should be a virtual appointment if some kind. OH is important, but we should not be going on public transport other than for unavoidable and essential

If you want to play hardball. ask them to set out their reasoning in writing, because at present you cannot fathom their risk/benefit analysis

Or be more emollient and just ring to make the salient points in friendlier and persuasive form

@DragonTrainedByLucy just phone work and say as you know I am shielding and following government guidance so that’s not possible. Would you prefer to carry this out via a video or phone call.

Thank you @iVampire and @ToothFairyNemesis

I am asking for a video / telephone appointment - just waiting to hear back.

My preference is that it doesn't go ahead at all but I know it could help me as well, so I do sort of want to go.

Well, I've been furloughed and my line manager has been telling my team I am off sick so I am not very happy about that at all. I was ill in March but have been well after a couple of weeks. My poor team have been really worried and I only found out today they didn't know I was furloughed. Feels really bloody irresponsible and also a bit weird that they would say I was still ill when they know full well I was wanting and expecting to come to WFH last week.

I hope everyone who is having a bad time is now having a better time. I am going to have an early night and hope that tomorrow brings a cheerier me and things feel and look a little brighter.

Ordered a new bike today...

Gosh, I can only imagine the crap some of you are going through. Massive hugs.

@NervousInYorkshire I'm sorry you are in such a shitty position and your neighbour is a total arse. I live in a quiet street of bungalows. But my next door neighbour decided to invite her alcoholic daughter to stay and now her druggy son. It's a right old barrell of laughs... not. Sadly the mother was abused by her husband previously so knows nothing else other than people walking all over her. I at least have a garden of my own, but I am subjected to their constant pissed screeching and playlists that jump to the next song every 10 seconds. I feel lucky. However work are hounding me to come back on 15 June. I've had another asthma attack today, I'm trying my best with home schooling, I'm trying to look after my Mum with cancer and I just broke down today about George Floyd. The world is fucking twisted. I always felt we were a little bit better off in the UK. But we aren't. Boris and his so called government is more corrupt than I could ever imagine.

Thank you to you lot, because let's face it, not many other folk understand. I'm fairly tough, but MN should be ashamed about that 'dementor' thread.

@LucyTrainsDragons I absolutely know how hard schools are working. I didn't mean complain as in gung-ho 'how dare you' - I should have worded it better. But I think it's totally reasonable to draw their attention to the fact that the work they're setting isn't inclusive of all family's circumstances. In the same way, that come father's Day, I would expect lessons to be sensitive to kids who's father's aren't around. I've told my children's school that we were shielding and thought most would, but appreciate some may see it as private.

@Pebble21uk I totally agree that teachers have been doing an amazing job in very difficult circumstances. I have been appalled throughout this crisis at some of the awful things that have been said about them on here and the disgusting way that they've been treated by the media, and on occasion, the government. I work with vulnerable children and feel passionately both about inclusion and disability rights, so I can get a bit feisty. But it doesn't mean that I'm not hugely appreciative of all the blood sweat and tears that teachers have put in - I should have worded my post better.

@BatSegunda I really appreciate your response to the school issues, also totally understand that emotions are running high during this time. Thank you for responding and sharing your reasons for your initial reply to an earlier post.

It’s a difficult one but for me personally, I feel I need to cut the schools/teachers some slack, they’ve got, as far as I’m concerned, a huge task on their hands. To be sending out a blanket letter asking dc to go out for a walk is well meaning, absolutely. Perhaps they could, in future, add a paragraph stating that they realise this doesn’t necessarily apply to all and that they understand that there might be some families who are shielding etc and that they can’t do this.

It’s so difficult, no one in our lifetime has had to deal with anything like this, we just all need to be kind right now.

...we just all need to be kind right now.

So true, @LucyTrainsDragons. This is a kind corner of Mumsnet and I value it very much

@FuckThisWind - thank you; sorry to hear you've your own hellish neighbour fuckery too and about everything else on your plate x

Boris is trying to get distancing distances reduced
www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/03/boris-johnson-says-he-wants-to-relax-2-metre-physical-distancing-rule

How the chuff will the shielding going out / being super stringent work then?

sorry i havent been around today. Ive just been totalyl wiped out all day and havent felt up to joinging in with anything at all.

Bit down about the new diagnosis as well, yet another thing to add to the list. feel like i have the body of a 98 year old, not someone thats not even 40 yet :(

Can I join I am young have severe COPD (actually not from smoking fags but bongs never realized they could do this have now stopped with the weed) i take ventolin sirdupla and sea breeze inhalers and have had steroids 6 times in the last year.

I have 3 dc and I don't want them going back to school but feel I am under pressure to do so. But it's not just the shielding DD1 is in year 6 and has severe ASD and don't see her coping with social distancing at all she attends mainstream with full 1:1.

We are doing as well as can be expected with shielding I bought a 12ft pool at start of shielding and kids go out every day for at least 2 hours while I sit on the patio drinking monster cans (I know they not the healthiest but with 3 kids with sn and my own mental health requiring 5 sedatives a night they get me through the day) and listening to music.

I am also classed as disabled mentally as I have schizophrenia but I am coping ok starting to really want a night out up a friends but obviously that's still considered to risky so will have to wait.

Anyway just wanted to introduce myself.

@BatSegundo

I've popped on to say hello again.

I currently feel like the world's worst mum. I have a 7 year old and we were doing ok not going out and not seeing people. She's been really missing her friends and I kept saying to her that all of her friends missed each other. Well it turns out her two friends have been out together several times over the last week and one of them sent me a text telling me I'm too over protective of her and to just go out and to meet them next week.

She knows perfectly well that I'M SHIELDING due to several serious medical conditions. I feel guilty enough that I can't take my daughter out as often as she would like without being told that I'm being stupid!

Added to that my joints are getting stiff with being home all day and my foot has swollen up and is incredibly sore. Part of me wants to just go out and enjoy myself!

tvandwine- totally get this. It’s so understandable to feel this way.
I feel so guilty saying no to my dc. They watch on Instagram at their friends socialising, while they can’t.
Today my youngest is due to start back to school with her fellow yr6 classmates. They’ve got a class group watsapp chat and the conversation is all around heading back and seeing each other today. My dd is reading and getting more upset. Awful times. But I think deep down they know the reasons behind it x

Hello @Theodoreb and welcome. You sound like you have a lot on your plate but are finding a way to cope.

There seem to be a lot of us with Y6s. Exactly the same situation, WhatsApp chat and all, is happening in my house this morning @Flossie44. It sucks.

Still waiting for call from vascular surgeon (meep), but HAVE managed to chase until referral to Bone Health Team got done. Apparently one was done in March & got eaten - tbh at this stage I just care that it’s done now! I’ve also got some new stuff from my GP to try for psoriasis AND some vials of B12 appeared with my prescription, so it seems that the District Nurses can/will at least do that for me. And it took a week, but my fentanyl patches finally arrived.

Good grief but I am tired though. Probably in part because I’m meant to have my B12 jabs every 2 months & my last one was in February. But apologies if I’ve missed words/made weird errors - am literally falling asleep as I try to write...

Thank you @Anewuser
I’ve to wash the mask as I need to wash anything fabric before I try putting my skin near it really - I’ve had some spectacular rashes just trying on clothes before. Is very frustrating. My filter mask is one where you insert filters rather than one with valves so I can safely wash it. Putting it outside probably not a plan for me when it’s so polleny & my hayfever is being ridiculous - have switched out my weaker antihistamine for low-dose prednisolone & that plus steroid spray & eye drops are just about keeping things under control, but I do still occasionally look as if I’m weeping uncontrollably. And then sometimes I am weeping uncontrollably, because that’s what prednisolone does to me
With the congestion charge now you can’t register a vehicle until they agree that you’re entitled to the discount; & they take ages to process each bit of things. Naturally. I remember it being easier last time I had a badge too.
Am going to chase up the complaint once I’ve finished chasing up the last few hospital/health things. At least my Bone Health Unit referral has finally come through after a LOT of chasing...
Think you’re right about the gloves - the doors & bannisters are going to be so crazy high-touch that even though they’re cleaned regularly I don’t know antibacterial gel would be enough/better/right. Gah.

@BatSegundo
Thank you Lifts in question here are only a couple of floors too - but INCREDIBLY busy even now; bit prone to doing their own thing; & generally in no way safe. Unless I reach the point I absolutely cannot drag myself up/down the stairs, no lifts for me.

@LucyTrainsDragons
Hope that you can get your bloods sorted - might be worth contacting PALS?

@Egghead68
Thank you I am, if nothing else, incredibly stubborn. Makes me a bit determined to try to Do The Things despite, well, everything that means I can’t really. Am sorry you couldn’t get help with your rubbish - how frustrating. Presumably none of your neighbours would oblige, either?

Thank you @FuzzyPuffling. It’s all just A Bit Much sometimes.

@rugbymummy - you should be able to get your prescriptions delivered to you as you’re shielding, including any urgent/emergency ones that go through. Was it coming from your regular pharmacy?

@NervousInYorkshire
Yay for escaping & walking & Outside! Hope you can manage to make it a regular thing.

@outnumberedwoman
Sorry you’re having such a rough time pet.

@DragonTrainedByLucy
Hope you can get the OH situation sorted ASAP. Also hope your line manager gets bitten, kicked, & tbh thoroughly trampled by a very cross donkey, because that behaviour is inexcusable.

@TVandwine - that goes well beyond mere insensitivity into the bounds of “how can this individual so completely fail to have understood the fairly simple concept that is my lived reality?!” I’m so sorry.

@BatSegunda Thank you so much for your response... and I do appreciate that we (being childless) cannot begin to imagine how hard it is shielding with children as well. Everyone has their own personal perspective and it's good to try an put yourself in other's shoes for a while (by that I mean that teachers do to!!)

too even - some teacher!!!!

Extension announced for wales until 16th August