How do I give less without appearing mean.

[Toddlerteaplease]

Colleagues 0 birthday. We get on well but I wouldn't say we were particular friends. Another colleague has asked for £30 from all of us. I wouldn't normally spend that much on my own family. We just don't do that. Everyone else is agreeing with the amount. How do I not give that but not seem mean?

Just say sorry Coronavirus has left you watching the pennies more than usual..
30 frigging quid?? Cf of the day op!?

Hiw much!! Ridiculous, far too much , never mind at the moment. Just say no.

30 quid!! from how many colleagues?

that's a ridiculous amount. I don't spend that much on anyone's birthday other than DH or DD and even then its not much more.

Unless you’re honest, then you can’t.

So, maybe email the whole group and say something direct, like “I can’t spend £30 on xxx present, it’s too expensive for me just now. I’m happy to bow out and I’ll give her a cheaper gift; my max would be £xx. I don’t want to cause bad feelings as you’re all great, so felt it better to be straightforward with you all.”

£30 each? For a colleague's birthday?! Just say NO

I wonder what the present is??

£30 is crazy. £5 absolute max for a work colleague collection.

£30?? How many in the team? I’d be likely to laugh and offer a £5 but be prepared for nothing when your b day comes around....

Say, you've already sorted a gift of your own. Then just send chocs/wine or whatever you want.

£30 on a colleague is ridiculous.

That is insane!

On the rare occasions we do a collection (usually a landmark birthday or retirement of a long-standing member of staff), it's an envelope that gets passed around and we bung in whatever we want. So no one would even know. Typically £2-£5, and we are pretty well paid.

Absolutely not

£5 maximum

I bet your other colleagues think it's ridiculous as well but are too scared to say anything. Personally that is an amount I would only spend on a close friend and I would just say this. I wouldn't pretend to be unable to afford it, I would just say that's more than I'm willing to put in so I will do my own thing. I've never heard of being told how much you have to put in for a collection tbh. At my work you're told that there's a collection for X and see Z person if you want to put in. You put your money in the envelope and sign the card at Z's desk. Nobody needs to see how much you put in. Some put in £1, most put in £5, some put in £10. Never ever heard of being told to fork out £30 for a colleague's birthday!!!!

No way. £5 max.

Bloody hell £30! It’s a fiver maximum at any place I’ve ever worked!

“Sounds like you’re getting a fantastic gift, so lovely and generous of you all! X is very lucky! I’ve transferred £10 extra from me too to add to the pot. Take care”

That's a ridiculous amount!

I'd be fairly blunt, and say you simply cannot stretch that far, and ask would they like a fiver or if you should dip out (and go it alone)

Or if you can't afford that (or just don't want to) say you can't run that right now and will just send a card

I’ve just noticed most are saying £5, so edit as you will.

Can you say "great idea to get colleague a gift but on this occasion I will only be able to contribute £x". I doubt you'll be the only one not happy with contributing so much.

My office decided to do a collection when one the big bosses wife gave birth. He only visited our office once a month and never spoke to me other than good morning so when an email came round asking for £10 (we normally contribute £5) I politely replied saying I would be happy to chip in £5 but not £10. No one questioned it but one of my colleagues messaged me privately saying thanks for being the first to bring it up as she wasn't happy contributing so much either.

That’s absolutely mental!! We buy a big card and pass it round the office, if people want to contribute they can otherwise they can just sign and pass on. That’s taking the piss!

@saz12 has it just right -honesty doesn't come back to bite either

Jesus, we throw a quid each in where I work and get a token gift, its the thought that counts. I'd just say no, sorry, here's a fiver, max

The party she'd planned (involving a hotel stay) has been postponed till next year. This birthday was always going to be expensive!

It's a landmark for me next year. I hope they go to the same effort for me. Though I doubt it.

We do £2 at my work unless it is a special birthday then it is £3! £30 is crazy!!!