How do I give less without appearing mean.

[Toddlerteaplease]

Colleagues 0 birthday. We get on well but I wouldn't say we were particular friends. Another colleague has asked for £30 from all of us. I wouldn't normally spend that much on my own family. We just don't do that. Everyone else is agreeing with the amount. How do I not give that but not seem mean?

£30 is ridiculous. £5 max is the usual where I have worked.

I wouldn't use the bought her something excuse. £30 each from colleagues is ridiculous.

How many of you are there?

Unless she's 100 and it's a combo birthday and leaving present that's just stupid. What do you normally chip in for birthdays?

'Sounds like you’re getting a fantastic gift, so lovely and generous of you all! X is very lucky! I’ve transferred £10 extra from me too to add to the pot. Take care”

Don't say this! The 'extra' bit looks like you mean £40! 😁

I wouldn't say you can't afford it right now, as what if they Jaime asking for same again for the next colleague?

I would be honest and make light of it, just laugh and say "I'm not really big on buying birthday gifts. You guys do your present, I'll bring the cake!"

Then either make or buy a birthday cake around the £5 or £10 mark.

*not sure what word I meant above but it wasn't Jaime

(.....if you are all currently wfh send cake to her house)

How many people are contributing? Have you talked to any of them about how much is being asked for?

How many people are contributing?

You've missed this out when so many have asked. I'm intrigued

£30. Are they having a winding path (A laugh). I don't even spend that on my own nephews. £5 is more than ample for a collection. How dare people dictate how far anyone puts their hand in their pocket. What are they plAnning to buy for the person The crown jewels.

Wow that's too much. Who decided on that figure? And what the he'll you're single so can easily pay??

I would I'm afraid stand up to this.

Just say sorry it's a bit much for me as more than I spend on family. £15 if that's what you're happy with as you said.

Or say you've got a present. Get her something on 3 for 2 in Boots.

I'd personally be challenging whoever set the amount. Do the rest of you all get that much from each other on your birthdays?

There are 17 people in the watsapp group. While all agreed. It was another colleagues 60th recently and no fuss was made of that!

When I got a temporary job working as agency staff, I was told to contribute £25 for a supervisors birthday present, ghds! I replied straight away, "I'm sorry but I cant afford that!" Which was true as I hadn't been paid yet. Nor would I want to pay that much for a stranger.

17 ppl? that's £510!!!!! What are they planning to buy?

I think the only 'excuse' to use is ... that's a ridiculous amount for a colleague.

"Sorry, £30 is outside my budget for a colleague's birthday, but I'm happy to contribute £10."

Where do you work? Is it in the city and mostly six figure salaries?

I bet everyone else is thinking the same thing.

Agree with PPs, reply saying £30 is too much for you at this time.

I contributed £10 (small office so only 6 of us) for a colleague's 30th last year. I've just had my 50th, I know it was in lockdown but only 2 of the 6 even bothered with a card, so don't beat yourself about it - it seems others rarely spend as much time worrying about such things!

I’d have no hesitation in saying no to that. Obviously, that’s just me.....I’d be very upfront in saying I can’t afford that and chip in a tenet at best. No-one wants to give £30 either I can assure you of that....they’re just waiting for someone to blink first

So someone in the group recently celebrated a 60th birthday and the other colleagues did NOTHING for it??

Wow. Imagine how that person must be feeling having been asked to contribute £30 towards a present for someone else?

In that case, I’d be offering £0 other than a small contribution towards a a card (50p) and making it clear to everyone in the group that to ignore X’s 60th and to single out one colleague for a special birthday treatment, isn’t on.

Bloody hell! So the birthday girl is throwing a party which will probably cost you at least £100 to attend and is also going to get a 500 quid present from her colleagues?

She's going to end up with another present next year too, no one likes going to a party empty handed.

So is the birthday girl a 'difficult' person?

Cos that all sounds like very hard work to me!

I'd laugh and give the usual fiver!

I'd stop worrying about how it looks after seeing they did nothing at all for another colleague.

@ChipotleBlessing no we are nurses!