Extras at a wedding - what do you actually enjoy?

[Bridecilla]

Guests will be fed and watered. Not wanting to go mad with £££ that won't make a jot of difference.

We've booked a really good wedding DJ. Beer on tap.

Glitter bar? Photo booth??

@YukoandHiro hoping for a very short dead zone. We'll not be going off anywhere for pics.

Favours will be home flavoured gin - rhubarb or BlackBerry &Apple. I have both on test run now 😂

We aren't having any extras like photo booths. Did wonder if it was a bad idea, but most don't seem to be bothered by them.

Providing canapés after the ceremony, hot and cold ones.
3 course meal that has two choices per course for people to choose from before the wedding. Guests get two glasses of wine each, but we are also putting extra bottles on the table, should bring it up to 4 glasses each.
Then buffet at about half 9.

I have read the 15 odd pages, and the advice given has mostly been very good.

I would add;

• Don't expect people to sit on hay bales at any time - they're so uncomfortable and really itchy for anyone with bare legs.
• Don't expect people to decamp from one room to the next for a disco - in my experience people just won't do it. Far more effective to have one room with adequate space for sitting and dancing. You'll then need to have another space for people who want to chill out without any noise.
• Free bars aren't necessary as long as you don't need a mortgage for a drink. Your venue looks like they've got this covered!
• Try and 'walk through' the day in your guests' shoes. For example, if you're only expecting them to eat at 4pm, and your ceremony starts at 11:30, and most guests will travel for an hour, then try and do a day where you eat at 9 and then again at 4. If you're not comfortable, then no one else will be!

I also think gin favours will go down well. Who cares if some people only drink beer? There will be enough guests who will drink the favours (and really enjoy them) to make it worth it.

Thanks @ClaudiaWankleman ceremony at 2pm, food at 4 ish. Definitely no hay bales!!

Drinks are very cheap thankfully 😀

I tested my trial run of rhubarb gin last night- and delivered bottles to 2 friends who said they'll happily drink any leftover favours on the day 😂

Get a drink in everyone's hand asap after ceremony. If it is a hot day make sure there is plenty to drink, doesn't all have to be alcoholic. And somewhere to sit, in the shade.
Then some canapés or other snacks if there is much wait before the wedding breakfast.
At the wedding breakfast let people have at least their first course before making them listen to any kind of speech or eat a video. If the wedding breakfast is a buffet try to ensure there are plenty of serving stations/staff to avoid a queue.
Plenty of food.
Plenty of water on the tables.
Somewhere to sit during the evening.
Food for evening guests/for everyone if it is a long evening after the wedding breakfast.
Appropriate volume of music in the evening and somewhere quieter.

Chochito is right about plenty of water on tables too. I hate having to go to the bar for a glass of water, and the waiters are inevitably not actually employees of the venue (and are busy) so they can't help if you ask them.

The best one I went to was at a barn. We would have liked to buy drinks on arrival but I understand there's a law against that, there were though soft drinks and tea/coffee. After the ceremony we left the barn so it could be set up for the reception dinner, there was plenty of outdoor court yard seating and an indoor veranda with lots of sofas. Beautiful summers day. Constant supply of beer, champagne, Pimms, soft drinks, hot drinks and fabulous canapés during the photos. Then in for the meal with loads of wine and beer provided. Out again so evening party could be set up and bar by now open. Hot sandwiches around 9.30. There was a sweet stall and a number of Polaroid cameras for a bit of fun.

I think for weddings in the UK you definitely have to plan them for cases of bad weather. And British weddings are often soooooo long, so many start so early and then just drag for hours and hours and hours so sticking to the 'traditional' formula can cost tons as you're having to keep everyone fed and watered over the course of literally a whole day. It might be why so many find them boring here or don't like them or have had bad experiences being stuck for hours in uncomfortable circumstances.

@MorticiaSadams a law against buying a drink before a wedding?? I'm clueless!

@highmarkingsnowbile the weather is our main issue. The solution is a marquee but we booked for the venue. I feel like with a marquee it could just as well be a white room anywhere

Nice food, plenty to drink, reasonable bar price and no standing around for ages. Not having to wait hours to get something to eat (so many weddings - breakfast at home, travel to venue for wedding so miss lunch, no food until 5pm) Maybe something to entertain very small children. That's it!

This has kinda been covered by others but I don’t drink alcohol and the worst wedding I’ve been to (for many reasons but this did not help) had practically nothing for non-drinkers, despite the bride knowing at least two of the guests were tee-total & there were kids running about. No water on the tables, just wine 🤨 my DP had to pay stupid money for a small coke. We left early & we’re not impressed.

Also, if you do a seating plan, please make sure at least three people on the table know each other. At the same wedding, my DP and I were seated on a table with people I didn’t know (he didn’t know anyone as it was my “friend”) when the rest of that friendship group were on a different table. It was rubbish and we left early 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ah... we left early twice apparently! And *were not we’re

All guests are his family his brothers and kids etc plus maternal side, all know each other. His dad doesn't really have family

My family- as dp. Dad's side of the family are all dead or too old to come

My friends - all know each other

His friends- all from childhood so know each other and his family

Joint work friends. We work at the same place. All know each other

Seating hopefully a big horseshoe with those groups all together

@Bridecilla it's to do with licensing laws it seems. I'm sure if the venue was a hotel with multiple bars you could, but not in the actual room the wedding was taking place. The barn venue I described was solely a wedding venue. All other weddings I've been to where in churches so we met in a pub first for quick one

https://www.gov.uk/approval-of-premises-for-civil-marriage-or-civil-partnership

@MorticiaSadamson I genuinely have never heard of it! Every day really is a school day.

I've been stalking pics on the brewery's hashtag and it looks like people have had Pimms / Prosecco poured for immediately after the ceremony.

We had a photo booth and the album of photos is full of fun photos that we wouldn’t otherwise have had and it was a great buy

It sounds great OP. Plenty of food and free booze is mandatory but it sounds like you have that covered. I didn’t do a glitter bar but we did have a temporary tattoo station which sounds awful (I was very unsure but thought fuck it) but it was great fun. We didn’t have a photo booth but bought two Polaroid cameras and our wedding book was an album that held the Polaroid photos. People took 2-3 and kept some for themselves. I treasure that album.

Thanks everyone, I've loved reading all the feedback!

No I’m old (50). While I love a cheesy disco somewhere quiet to have a chat over a tea was brilliant at last wedding for catching up with relatives I hadn’t seen for ages. There was a balcony space with sofas and tea coffee all night.

@DangerCake there's an inside room that they can shift all the couches into for us :)

Oh, I forgot, lots of delicious wedding cake!

@Chochito no wedding cake (we're having cheese) but there will be a big cake table to graze at. The venue chef bakes amazing cakes and tray bakes

Our guests loved:

*Cocktails, champagne and (beautiful) canapes on arrival and during photos

*Free bar (for the entire time)

*No wasted time (e.g. while we were having (v quick) photos, we provided a lovely outdoor seated area by a lake with, as mentioned above, food and booze with a quartet playing, we also had a magician which everyone loved)

*A band and a disco and a DECENT dance floor - definitely worth it, people love to let their hair down at the end of a wedding. Don't forget a quieter space for people who want to chat

*A friendly, discrete photographer

*We got married by a lake. We chartered a large boat and took all the guests for a tour of the lake - this was during that often boring, limbo part - after the wedding breakfast but before the reception. We provided booze, played some gorgeous music and everyone LOVED IT! It was the highlight for us (it helped that the weather was lovely)

I have been to a lot of weddings, so I knew not to bother with:

Sweet carts
Photo mirrors, booths
Fancy dress (so contrived!)
Favors - naff

No extras as such, just no long wait between ceremony and reception. Drinks, including soft drinks and somewhere to sit while you're waiting. Other than that, somewhere away from the music to chat if you don't feel like dancing.