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Extras at a wedding - what do you actually enjoy?

470 replies

Bridecilla · 26/05/2020 14:57

Guests will be fed and watered. Not wanting to go mad with £££ that won't make a jot of difference.

We've booked a really good wedding DJ. Beer on tap.

Glitter bar? Photo booth??

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Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 10:44

@FrancisCrawford my phone auto corrected to minger, I had to retype is carefully!

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GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/05/2020 11:19

@burnoutbabe, several of us older ones (3 couples) did opt out of the evening part at a wedding not long ago - just didn’t want (or couldn’t face!) the loud music/disco bit, skipped the dinner, too. But we did say (apologetically) in advance that we’d be doing this, so that they wouldn’t be paying for meals that weren’t needed.
We were all staying at the same hotel and had booked a nice civilised dinner out.

I doubt very much that the very nice young couple (not close family) gave a stuff that we weren’t there later, that bit was more for their many friends. And we did all give a nice cash gift - much more to the point IMO!

Haggisfish · 29/05/2020 11:28

I’d love a caricaturist!

Interested in this thread?

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Malin52 · 29/05/2020 11:52

I can't stand gimmicky shite at weddings. That 'glitter bar' looks awful. What are you supposed to do with it?
By a country mile the best weddings are the simplest. Free bar, delicious food. The rest is bollocks.

Amazing how many will sacrifice good drink and food for sweetie carts (used by one child), photo booths (used by one group of three who think they are hilarious wearing fake moustaches), ice cream van (again used by a couple of children), a hideous release of animals or environmentally damaging items or a quirky favour of which 80% are left behind.

Best wedding ever had a massive Shepherds pie we all helped ourselves to and an open bar. Man that was good.

Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 12:01

I can splash out £350 on a caricaturist who has an amazing reputation but can't stretch to an open bar unfortunately.

I've never known an open bar wedding and my guests wouldn't expect it.

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PaquitaVariation · 29/05/2020 12:19

I’ve been to a wedding at your venue and it was the loveliest wedding I’ve ever been to! Horse wandering past mid-vows, few bees buzzing around, it’s gorgeous. I wouldn’t have wanted to be there on a chilly day though.

Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 12:29

@PaquitaVariation that's lovely! Ours is July so fingers crossed. What were the best / worst bits of the wedding?

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PaquitaVariation · 29/05/2020 12:55

@Bridecilla it was honestly the only wedding I’ve ever been to where there weren’t any ‘worst’ bits! The ice cream was a big hit I seem to remember, food was gorgeous. They were very quick at turning the ceremony space into the dining space. The option for guests to camp ‘onsite’ was a big plus for lots. It was a lot of fun and very relaxed. Everyone had an amazing time.

Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 13:05

Thanks @PaquitaVariation

I didn't even know about camping!!

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Sonichu · 29/05/2020 14:07

Open bars at wedddings are something I've only ever heard of on MN. I've never been to one, never heard of anyone having one, and would never turn up to a wedding expecting one. Maybe we're all just cheapskates.

Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 14:16

@PaquitaVariation you're so lovely not looking to pick put rubbish bits. Some of the answers on here have made me think that people hate weddings!

Did they have a marquee?

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maxelly · 29/05/2020 14:35

I've been to several weddings with a free bar but they tended to be one or all of (a) not in the UK, or couple not originally from the UK - I think it's more common in America and some other places (b) in a self-catered or non-typical venue, e.g. one the reception was held in the parents house/garden and therefore all booze had been brought in by the hosts, no option to buy your own (c) very very wealthy couple or families for whom it was a drop in the ocean compared to the overall costs of the wedding.

I agree that the vast majority of UK weddings don't have a free/open bar and people don't expect it, although usually there will be quite a lot of free booze, the standard is to provide welcome drink, wine with dinner and perhaps a certain amount of money behind the bar to start the party off, but at a certain point in the evening if you want more you pay your own way which seems totally fair to me.

I think to be honest a lot of Brits wouldn't be able to restrain themselves at a completely open bar and it could get quite messy! To illustrate, at a wedding at a very fancy, expensive hotel we went to a few years ago, my DH came back from the bar delighted and surprised to have found that it was a free/open bar and he hadn't been asked for his credit card, just his room number. We were surprised as the couple weren't that well off despite the fancy venue, but thought maybe one of their parents was paying or something. We proceeded to have quite a few cocktails and G&Ts over the course of the evening, no way would we normally have ordered as many if we were paying ourselves, but they were delicious and as we were staying at the hotel overnight we stayed up late and went to bed quite merry! DH was staggered to be presented with a huge bar bill the next morning when we dragged ourselves down hungover, turned out it wasn't an open bar at all (beer, wine and soft drinks were free/paid for by the B&G but everything else had to be paid for or could be charged to your room which is where the confusion came from, he clearly hadn't understood the bar man's explanation that he was starting a tab!), which made absolute sense to me, in hindsight it was a bit shameful that we expected the couple/family to pay for our session on the most expensive drinks in the house, DH was a bit red faced about the whole thing and rightly so...!

Lexilooo · 29/05/2020 14:39

Don't bother with all the extras, put the money into keeping the food and drink flowing, that is what matters most.

Sweetie bars normally result in loads of waste but might be worthwhile doing on a small scale if you have lots of kids attending.

At my wedding we served Elderflower presse before the ceremony which was popular as there is inevitably some hanging around if people have travelled.

Lots of canapés and drinks during the photos. Being hungry or thirsty will make people miserable.

Somewhere quieter to sit away from the music for those who want to chat.

Tea and coffee available for those not drinking or not drinking much.

Muh2020 · 29/05/2020 14:48

A glitter bar sounds really awful.
Plenty food and drink is the key to a good wedding.

PicaK · 29/05/2020 15:00

Id love the glitter bar!!

PaquitaVariation · 29/05/2020 15:02

@Bridecilla no, they didn’t have a marquee and it probably wouldn’t have been quite so lovely if the weather hadn’t been good. Maybe the camping was in the field where they put the marquee if needed?

Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 15:05

@PaquitaVariation

The marquee goes on the car park

I know I've asked about general wedding extras but it's the weather / marquee situation that I'm bothered by. Hard to explain unless you've been to the venue

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SherryGlaze · 29/05/2020 15:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request

SockYarn · 29/05/2020 15:14

Sorry, but no CAKE but cheese and crackers instead? What sort of a non sweet toothed weirdo are you???

Please tell me there'll be ample dessert - cheese doesn't count as "pudding".

Bridecilla · 29/05/2020 15:22

@SockYarn panic not - dessert table:

Table of Cakes & Tray Bakes
Chocolate Cake with a Cherry Jam Centre
Victoria Sponge
Coffee & Walnut
Coconut Cake

.oOo.
Blueberry Flapjack
Chocolate Brownie
Bakewell Slice
Orange Drizzle
£200.00 – (96 full size portions)

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maxelly · 29/05/2020 15:23

The OP said there would be a dessert buffet of (I think) 12 homemade different cakes/puddings SockYarn, so fear not!

This 'cake of cheese' thing has become quite popular of late (I think the last 3 weddings I went to have had one). I think it's quite a nice idea, if and only if it's as well as, not instead of, a normal pudding Grin. The traditional heavy fruit cake is well out of fashion by now and no-one but Granny fancies it after a big meal, I do like a more modern wedding cake with sponge base layers and then a small fruit cake on top, but it does make the day flow more nicely to do the cheese thing, as if you have to wait for the cake to be cut after dinner, then be served out, you have a long wait for your pudding. Or if you are serving a regular pudding after dinner, then no-one wants cake as well, so it goes to waste - a few weddings have ended up with pieces of cake growing stale and sticky in napkins/handbags that people have intended to take home but end up abandoning.

Whereas the couples of the recent weddings I've been to just serve pudding normally while everyone is still seated for the meal, then everyone disperses while the tables are taken away, then the first dance happens, then the 'cheese cake' is cut and forms an evening snack to sop up the alcohol later in the evening!

dannydyerismydad · 29/05/2020 15:29

Spend the bulk of your budget on good food and drink. Canapés and drinks on arrival. A good sit down meal.

I rarely remember the extras at weddings. But I remember a good pudding, or the weddings when you stand around for hours starving while the bride and groom disappear for photos.

CoralHair · 29/05/2020 15:34

Nothing except free flowing drinks and yummy food.

Tootletum · 29/05/2020 15:37

Your wedding sounds fantastic! I would be super happy as a guest, although as I don't drink beer would probably be keen for one other free drink option. Don't spend cash on all the other crap that the wedding industry tries to swizz you with.

istheresomethingwrongwithme · 29/05/2020 15:38

We put selfie sticks on each table at our wedding with a tag attached asking people to use the hashtag #mrandmrsoursurname when they uploaded them. People seemed to like it (some have copied at their own weddings) and we got some hilarious photos. I had them made into a photo book and to be honest we look at those more than our professional wedding photos because they make us laugh so much!