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Original poster

Extras at a wedding - what do you actually enjoy?

470 replies

Bridecilla · 26/05/2020 14:57

Guests will be fed and watered. Not wanting to go mad with £££ that won't make a jot of difference.

We've booked a really good wedding DJ. Beer on tap.

Glitter bar? Photo booth??

OP posts:
Roominmyhouse · 30/05/2020 11:36

Photo booths are fun but other than that just plenty to eat and drink plus some good music for dancing is all that’s needed. Your wedding sounds fab!

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 30/05/2020 11:37

Definitely no glitter bar, no favours as they are a waste of money and nobody likes the sugared almonds, etc., no baskets of flip flops, no photo booth, no karoake (sp?), no 'Mr and Mrs' sign (tacky). Just a nice tasteful wedding, with decent food, ample seating, somewhere quiet for those who don't enjoy dancing, and maybe a magician to keep people entertained whilst photos are being taken!

kenandbarbie · 30/05/2020 11:47

Milk tray is spot on!

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Weddings
CoralHair · 30/05/2020 15:51

Honestly spend the 'extras' money on the free bar. I can't stress enough how glad I am we chose to do that. We had 100 guests and the bar tab came to £750. We offered free beer, lager and house wine and if they wanted spirits or cocktails they paid for their own. We had a lot of emails and texts saying it was the best wedding they'd been to etc- not necessarily lip service as they didn't need to reach out. Most people cited the free bar and good food and music as the reason. I was a bit worried about the bar tab and relieved at the final amount. We had saved enough for double that but it wasn't needed. (We also served bubbles on arrival and for the toast). Honestly people really appreciated it and it meant they could just relax and enjoy themselves. Half of your cartoonist fee would cover that cost.

Greywind1523 · 30/05/2020 15:53

Drinks and canapés if photos are going to take a while.

A photobooth is always fun.

Orangedaisy · 30/05/2020 16:03

Not rtft but access to a cuppa for outside weddings would be good. Went to an amazing one last summer in a giant teepee with a fantastic bar in one of those shiny caravan things. It turned out absolutely freezing by 8pm and a hot drink would have hot the spot perfectly, particularly for the non drinkers (there were a fair few as it was pretty remote).

Original poster
Bridecilla · 30/05/2020 17:20

@kenandbarbie mum wanted a big £500 cake. We compromised with a dessert table with lots of cakes Smile she wanted one for cutting photos - we went be having posed shots as neither do or I like them.

OP posts:
megletthesecond · 30/05/2020 17:24

A sharing player sounds like a nightmare for veggies and people with allergies.

Original poster
Bridecilla · 30/05/2020 17:27

@megletthesecond only one veggie and she's sorted. Own main, shared other bits but only sharing with her husband and 2 daughters

No allergies

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/05/2020 17:36

When I got married the little thing that most people commented that they liked was a timeline of events on the wedding invite and information about parking taxis etc. They mostly liked it as they knew exactly when they were eating!

I agree. It is really useful to know if you are going to be eating at 2.30 or not until 6pm. Makes a huge difference to what you eat before the ceremony and what you have to pack in your picnic.

verybritishproblems · 30/05/2020 17:41

Somewhere to sit and something to eat/drink between ceremony and reception is always good. I went to one where we were basically all shoved into a room at the reception venue (football stadium) with no food or drinks and no seats whilst the bride and groom got photos after the ceremony.

Oh so much this! All 50 of us were herded into a room with 2 sofas and a couple chairs, was a very hot day so most went to sit on the cobbles outside Grin

Itstheprinciple · 30/05/2020 18:18

If you have a husband like mine who is rubbish at small talk, something to 'do' is appreciated. A game to play outdoors, or quiz questions on the table or a pack of cards or something (think keeping a toddler entertained but for grown ups!)

thatpinkbox · 30/05/2020 18:27

If it's in an open barn make sure there are heaters or blankets. Worst wedding I went to was in July and it dropped really cold on the night, half the guests were huddled together trying to keep warm.

Also, ensure enough food and drink. At that same chilly wedding they ran out of food, it was a hot served buffet and each table was called up one by one (guess who was on the last hungry table)

Original poster
Bridecilla · 30/05/2020 19:15

The weird venue means there will always be somewhere to sit. Depending what we decide...

Ideal: lovely weather
*Ceremony under the barn
*Mingle, drinks, canapes etc outside whilst barn is turned around for the meal. Picnic tables available
*Indoor tea rooms available with seating
*Meal outdoors under the barn
*Music and dancing outdoors with fire pit and patio heaters, twinkly lights and candles in jars. Indoors available with tables and sofas

Less ideal- weather bad
*All indoors. Ceremony will be some standings it's 2 small rooms
*dj and dancing in the 3rd room above the brewery

Possible option 3 (plus £3k) = marquee
*ceremony would still be either barn or indoors as they're legally registered.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 30/05/2020 19:27

It sounds such a lovely venue Bridecilla.
I am particularly liking the pudding options Smile
I am also liking the fact the owners (Managers?) sound relaxed, sensible, practical and friendly. Makes all the difference on the day.
I hope you have a lovely day.

Original poster
Bridecilla · 30/05/2020 22:13

Thanks @BackforGood the owner is so lovely. She was actively trying to encourage us not to overspend etc. When I rang to postpone she was great even though it must be awful for them as a business right now.

OP posts:
Covidkate · 31/05/2020 01:56

I actually have really lovely photos of my family from photo booths and have found that actually springing out for a proper booth has made people more likely to do it. The weddings where there were cheaper versions, ive found no one actually used them

I always think the people who comment on wedding threads seem to be people who hate weddings or are engaged in a weird competive minimalism. No one i know would think that a photo both etc is tacky as others have commented.

If you like it (as long as the basics eg chairs!) Are covered its okay to go for it!

Original poster
Bridecilla · 31/05/2020 10:59

@Covidkate there does seem to be a huge number of people who hate weddings. Makes me wonder why they don't just politely decline the invitation

OP posts:
Ginfordinner · 31/05/2020 11:08

I love weddings. Maybe I shouldn't be on mumsnet Grin

BackforGood · 31/05/2020 11:33

I always think the people who comment on wedding threads seem to be people who hate weddings or are engaged in a weird competive minimalism.

Nope, I love a wedding. I just don't like photobooths.
I love weddings that reflect the people getting married. I've loved weddings in fancy places and in the local Church Hall. I've loved big weddings and tiny weddings. I understand that people have different ideas and want to do things their way. I understand people have different budgets and different family (and friend) circumstances. I understand some people are showy, some like a party, others are shy or just don't like music.
The only wedding I haven't enjoyed was when we were at a venue miles from anywhere, where the ceremony was at 12 and we didn't eat until 6.30, then the food was all 'nouveau cuisine' - very fancy to ook at but two bites and it was gone.

I too, probably shouldn't be allowed on wedding threads, as I love a wedding Grin

Megatron · 31/05/2020 11:44

Oh I love a wedding! Best one I went to was in a barn too. They had a really comfortable area for everyone to sit, canapes and drinks while they had a few photos taken (only about half an hour). They had lots of old swing music in the background which was really nice and relaxing. Lovely meal, cheese board, good band. That was it and it was just lovely.

DuchessOfBeddington · 31/05/2020 12:03

@Bridecilla

I can splash out £350 on a caricaturist who has an amazing reputation but can't stretch to an open bar unfortunately.

I've never known an open bar wedding and my guests wouldn't expect it.

You may be surprised how little a full open bar might cost, considering you are already supplying loads of Pimms, elderflower, wine with the meal, and beer all day, I personally would have a think about it.

At our wedding we had lots of fizz on arrival and plenty of wine on the tables, so the bar bill for soft drinks, spirits and beers only came to about £700 for 70 guests from 4pm till midnight.

Maybe it’s more affordable than you think, particularly if your venue has a cheap bar. The full open bar was the main thing our guests talked about after the wedding, and it probably cost a lot less than having a combination of photo booth style extras.

I was at a recent family wedding and they also had shit loads of wine, similar numbers, and the caterer told me he only took about £250 on the bar, and that was with stopping the service of the BYOB wine. It was basically pretty pointless to have a cash bar at all.

DuchessOfBeddington · 31/05/2020 12:41

**I mean stopping the service of the BYOB wine after dinner.

Original poster
Bridecilla · 31/05/2020 12:55

Thanks @DuchessOfBeddington

We'll look into it but i know our guests won't expect one Gin

OP posts:
DuchessOfBeddington · 31/05/2020 13:19

@Bridecilla

Thanks *@DuchessOfBeddington*

We'll look into it but i know our guests won't expect one Gin

We are from an area where cash bars are the norm, I think that’s why lots of our guests saying it was fantastic. When people get an extra they don’t expect it tends to wow them a bit more.

If you just did glasses of house wine and soft drinks for those who don’t like elderflower or beer it would cost very little.

As you are providing so much free alcohol, these extras would be maybe a couple hundred quid, but would be gratefully received.