Were you a non-broody woman who had a baby?

[CoralHair]

I'm 8 months pregnant with my first and feeling a bit of a mixture of nerves and dread about the massive change coming my way next month. Don't get me wrong, this is definitely the right decision and my DH and I know we want to have a family together. But I myself have never been a broody type woman- eg I'm not into babies in general, I don't find them ridiculously cute and I'm not fussed about small children either! I know I'll adore my baby of course. I know genes will kick in and I'll love them - I hope - but I'm still a bit down about it all.

I don't want to say I'm not "maternal" because I'm full of love and I work in a caring profession (caring for adults with special needs), so I feel like that's where my maternal side comes out. I feel like I'll be more comfortable being a mother of older kids perhaps.

I just don't feel excited or gushy about having this baby, or about things like toys, nursery planning, buying baby clothes etc and when people like my MIL are literally jumping up and down clapping hands with excitement i just feel slightly down.

Are there any other "non-broody" / non-baby type women who've had babies and can offer me any positive tales? I keep getting told that when they smile and look at you you'll go all gooey but I'm not feeling excited about any of it!

DH is so excited bless him and I sometimes feel guilty.

Yep. I wasn’t broody but love mine with all my heart. Can just about tolerate other kids now but still an largely ambivalent to those I’m not related to.

Yes. I was. People were very shocked when they found out I was pregnant. Never any interest in babies until I had my own. Tbh still don’t really. I love him like mad but didn’t really get the whole baby stage.
You’ll be great OP. I found some other mums who aren’t gushing over every little fart and it was wonderful! X

Yeah, I was the same. Love mine with a passion, feel quite meh about kids in general.

I wasn't broody either!

me, but mine are special. i've got two!

I had no interest in babies. Whenever anyone on maternity leave would bring their babies in I'd hide in my office because I just had no idea what to say and found all the ooohs and aaahs really weird; it's just a baby.
I have two of my own now. I was never excited to buy things in pregnancy. Never thought about clothes/ nursery etc. I am absolutely besotted by them. I love them so much. I think everything they do is hilarious or genius (I know it's not really) and have to actively restrain myself from sharing anecdotes with others who I know really don't give a shit that he buttered his own bread today..
You will be a great mum.

Gosh, yes. I married DH in the full knowledge that he had been told that he was infertile and that was completely fine by me. No plans to have children and lots of plans for a life that would not be possible with children. Then I found out I was pregnant ... Horrific pregnancy and birth. We have four ... I love them fiercely and would not be without them; but it wasn't planned.

Yes and I had two. Best thing ever, now teens. I went back to work pt at four and five months though, as mat leave was killing me.

I couldn't really imagine the reality of being a mother and suspected that looking after a newborn would be pretty boring, so basically had very low expectations. I think I was in shock/disbelief for a few weeks even after he arrived! I do love him to pieces and in hindsight think the whole process of cenception, pregnancy and birth is amazing. Still not gushy about babies in general though. Good luck, you'll be grand. Ti's just the unknown x

Yes, as above. Have two now. Never broody, but love mine very much. Ambivalent about others, with a few exceptions!

I would rather have had a puppy than a baby when I was pregnant. It all changed within a week.

I'm not at all maternal or broody, and was ambivalent about having children.

I love DD to bits, but am still mystified by women who want lots of children. I must admit that I found the change from being child free to motherhood really hard. It won't have helped that I didn't have DD until I was 41, and had been used to living a selfish lifestyle for all of my adult life until then.

Starting a family was very much a next step in the life plan for me, not because I was broody. I actively avoided holding babies when offered and I don't get a fun feeling when playing with small children, it is actually just awkward to me.

My daughter is 12 weeks old and I love the bones off of her. Admittedly the first few weeks were tough, as she had a two week NICU stay and when we finally got her home she just... Stared. And screamed. And slept.

But now. Ugh. She smiles and giggles and it makes my heart melt. I have put her in a wedding dress outfit (wedding was cancelled) for a mini photo shoot and the picture of her in it just makes my heart ache with happiness (I have had it made into a canvas for the wall).

Once I felt I could properly care for her instead of shitting myself with the responsibility, the love just grew.

I don't love other people's babies. Even liking them is a bit much. But her? So much love that I cannot explain it, even when she's driving me mad with her crying. It is the literal definition of unconditional love.

Yes, never broody, not interested in babies, I have two teenagers, they are fab, enriched my life. I am very fond of some of their friends, lots I have no interest in. Still don’t get the whole baby gushing thing but obviously you take care of them. Don’t consider my self the maternal type. But I know I am a good mum. Don’t feel guilty. It will be fine.

It is different with your own but you end up having to oh and ah over other babies whilst not really getting it. Really enjoying the later child and teenagers stage.

I was never fussed then got unexpectedly pregnant, was on pill at the time. I was terrified as dh had always said he ever wanted kids but we muddled through I couldn't have had an abortion, we dealt with it. I can honestly say it was the best thing ever and we had another, although dh drew the line at 2 I'd have liked 3 I think...

It changes your life and it is hard but I'm glad I have the experience of kids in my life.

I’d never held a baby before I got pregnant. And then had only held one before he was actually born! It was kind of a “wouldn’t be a disaster if we had a baby” situation. I’d stopped taking the pill as my mum had been diagnosed with oestrogen sensitive breast cancer after taking HRT and I was scared of hormonal contraception. The condom broke, but DH didn’t notice until it was too late! I figured the chances were pretty low, so didn’t panic. Lo and behold DS1 was born.

DS2 was again, not exactly desperately wanted/planned. Just a kind of “we could probably manage another one now”.

And DD was a weird day where I (completely out of character!) leapt on H 3 times during the same day. He consequently felt that I’d tricked him into having another baby, whereas I hadn’t realised it was a fertile time. Must just have been very in tune with my body!!

I love the newborn bit, it felt very natural once I got the hang of it. Toddlers wear me out. I find young kids a little bit annoying, but luckily cute enough that they get away with it! Now they’re all teens and I can have a sensible conversation with them and they can make me tea, it’s my favourite age!

Yes, I was 38 when a surprise dd2 arrived, I was 5mths pregnant when I found out. 23 years after dd1.
Having another child was definitely not in my plans.
She's 4 now and the best surprise ever.

I thought babies were boring but toddlers and children seemed pretty fun. I started off pretty sure I wanted children then I had a hard time getting/staying pregnant which made me realise I really, really did. DS was born and I thought he was pretty wonderful but that having a baby was indeed quite boring and I found the newborn/young baby stage a bit of a struggle and secretly, sadly believed I was clearly lacking something necessary to be a natural mother. He's now nearly two and shockingly amazing - DH and I lie in bed talking about how great he is - and I struggle to feign interest in the babies that all my friends have inexplicably produced at once this year. A small, shameful part of me, deep down, believes that I have already produced the world's only vaguely interesting baby and in any case why are they even talking about their baby who can't even move when DS can count to three, the single greatest achievement of man to date

You may well be at an advantage because you're not going to suffer from unmet expectations. People have the most bizarre expectations of pregnancy and the baby years, it's really weird how easily people get depressed or anxious over it all.

I have never had any interest in children. But I surprisingly loved having a baby and got into the routine really easily. It all felt very natural.

Good luck OP!

Oh yes!!!
Just got married, found out I was pregnant, nearly cried. I was 30
Had never baby sat, changed a nappy etc
It was fine ! I was really laid back , didn't have any preconceptions of how ' great it 'would be
Was not in a rush to have another and to be fair I would have been happy just to have one but 5 years later had another
I have 2 fab children 17 Ds and 22 Dd, they are funny, kind and resilient and I am so proud that I have enabled that along with their dad

I never like children, I always said I didn't want them until I met DH who loved kids and we decided to have our own. We have 1 DD and 1 DS on the way. I absolutely adore them, from the minute i saw my first I knew everything was going to be fine.

P.S I still dislike everyone else's children, but this is normal

I didn’t want kids and wasn’t attached to my bump at all really, I don’t think I bonded with DD till she was here but the first night was surreal.
I didn’t sleep for over 24 hours as I was staring at her face. She was perfect.

She’s a year and a half now and i still love the bones off her, still don’t get mushy over other people’s kids though.

Yes. I was. People were very shocked when they found out I was pregnant. Never any interest in babies until I had my own. Tbh still don’t really. I love him like mad but didn’t really get the whole baby stage.

This is exactly me. I am starting to enjoy DA much more now he's entering toddlerdom though. He's hard work at times, but also very funny and cute, although I won't be having any more after hating pregnancy and the baby stage with a passion

DS*