Please stop going on about how you won't be sending your children back

[Ultrasoft]

If you make that decision that's entirely up to you and absolutely fine but do you have to keep telling people? People are being really nasty about it with a definite undertone of I'm a better parent/I love my children more than you do.

Lots of people will have to send their children back for all sorts of perfectly reasonable reasons. Some children really need to be back at school for their own safety and wellbeing.

Parents taking those decisions have enough on their plates, why would you want to add your judgement to that? And why would you want social stigma to prevent children who need to go back being sent back?

Stop looking for validation for your decision and trying to take it away from theirs. If you're happy, that's fine. Making other people miserable helps you how?

Well said

I’m sending mine back,very few cases in my town,my dd has changed so much since she’s not been at school,I never thought school had such an impact on children at such a young age,yes iv homeschooled to the best of my abilities,we go for long walks,play in the garden,she FaceTimes her friends,sorry I’m rambling now

Agreed, totally. Mine will both be first in the queue to go back. We've looked at the statistics and like everything else in life you weigh up the risk, the pros and cons for your circumstances and you make a decision accordingly. I just wish some people wouldn't take to Facebook to ask opinions and instead just look at the bloody science.

Completely agree.

I’m sending mine back as my work will possibly need me back on 1st June as I work in a school.

Couldn’t give a rats arse about anyone else quite frankly.

An example on a local Facebook group the other day:

"Should I send my child back to school, what do you other mums think?"

Cue the usual Eton aren't going back, my child isn't a guinea pig, I'll keep mine at home and not let them leave the house or see another soul until there's a vaccine nonsense.

Each persons child, school, family and circumstances are completely different.
What’s right for one is not another.

I do agree op, it’s a bit of extreme competitive parenting going on.

Completely agree op.

I agree op. It’s not as if it’s even a choice for most people. Homeschooling long term isn’t sustainable for most, or there would be more people doing it.

for the doubters
adc.bmj.com/content/archdischild/early/2020/05/05/archdischild-2020-319474.full.pdf

Agreed. Whether you're in favour of schools reopening or not is up to you but all the "look at me, PAY ME ATTENTION, tell me what a wonderful caring super parent I am unlike those evil bastards who want to get their children and everyone else killed " statements are getting on my tits.

I can imagine the mum's who don't send their DC back stood at the school gates pelting the mum's dropping off their DC at school with eggs.
Seriously though. It's ridiculous.
You are not a better Mum and you don't love your children more.

I agree. This holier than thou I won't be sending my child to school or nursery is very irritating.

Totally agree. I don’t mind what others choose to do,but please don’t imply I’m a potential murderer because I want my only child to be able to interact with some other children.

I'm chuckling at the parents posting about their kids 'not being Guinea pigs' whilst also doing that stupid challenge where they leave them with a bowl of sweets.

I don't have a dog in this fight - my child's nursery isn't opening anyway - but I've been really horrified at the judgemental language I've seen on this. I do think (controversially) that it's a more extreme version of what working mothers get often - 'oh I couldn't do that, of course you have no choice and I'm not judging you but oh I couldn't so that for mine'. In general I hate the use of 'I couldn't do that' when people mean 'I don't want to do that' or 'I've considered doing that but decided it wasn't the right decision for us'.

I agree because I’ve had to send mine to nursery throughout as I work in front line health care. I resent the implication that if you are a good parent you would keep them home, I bet these people still clap on a Thursday 😡

Agreed - comment on another thread was 'hardly anyone at my DC school going back but that's because we are really child focussed around here'

Sanctimonious preaching much?!

What will bug me though is that when children do go back and in all likelihood they aren't superspreaders, the schools open up to more people and those preachers will be the ones demanding a space 'now it's safer' because otherwise their previous DC will be disadvantaged.

Can see it already

I like the article in the guardian today by Suzanne Moore. I am simultaneously a Bad Parent for wanting dd to go back to school but a Good Teacher for wanting to be back in school myself. It's a minefield.

LisaSimpsonsbff I don’t think that’s controversial at all, I think it’s an excellent comparison.

And I’ve had a “discussion” just this morning with a poster who isn’t sending her children yet as she wants to see how other children “survive” first 😂

@Pepperwand lol, do you think they realise that Eton doesn’t have children in the June 1st year groups?

While my son isn't in school, I wouldn't send him if he was. However I understand not everyone has the same view as me and I don't think that anyone loves their children any less for wanting them to go.

I think everyone is just trying to do their best at the moment, but others making different decisions can really bring out the judgemental side in some people.

But from the other side you could say keep insisting it's safe and telling others to stop saying it is just trying to stop you from feeling guilty about your own decision.

This is the new SAHM / working mum debate .....

Not every parent who is keeping the kids at home in June is judging or telling those that aren't.

There is a definite assumption that parents whose kids are at home are judgmental pricks

Agreed
Our ds is in year 3 so they won’t have him back otherwise he’d go
Ds2 in nursery which we don’t need and can’t afford whilst dh furloughed otherwise he’d be back too

Agreed. I'm the only parent on the Year 1 What'sApp group for my daughter's school who has admitted I'll be sending my child back on 1st June. The risk to her and us as a family is minimal. Really annoyed at the 'our children aren't guinea pigs' line that people keep trotting out. The undertone has been getting increasingly unpleasant and in some cases hysterical.