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Please stop going on about how you won't be sending your children back

115 replies

Ultrasoft · 19/05/2020 13:12

If you make that decision that's entirely up to you and absolutely fine but do you have to keep telling people? People are being really nasty about it with a definite undertone of I'm a better parent/I love my children more than you do.

Lots of people will have to send their children back for all sorts of perfectly reasonable reasons. Some children really need to be back at school for their own safety and wellbeing.

Parents taking those decisions have enough on their plates, why would you want to add your judgement to that? And why would you want social stigma to prevent children who need to go back being sent back?

Stop looking for validation for your decision and trying to take it away from theirs. If you're happy, that's fine. Making other people miserable helps you how?

OP posts:
Bartlet · 19/05/2020 20:54

They think it make them look more caring, loving parents and all round nicer people than those who want to send them back.

That’s why they can’t stop telling everyone. At every opportunity.

Needmoresleep · 19/05/2020 20:55

I was bemused when a middle class London mum on my Fb was ranting about the dreadful Boris and how unsafe it was to send children back.

Turned out her son is at a private school and she had not realised that not all children were 'enjoying' a full school timetable.

Yes there is a virus. Risks should be managed. But there are costs of avoiding risks, including kids missing education and socialisation. I am hating jow political this has become. Flowers to OP

Bartlet · 19/05/2020 20:58

There seems to be a heavy correlation between vocal “won’t take the risk” types and SAHM or women who hate their jobs and want to continue their paid holiday. Most other people realise that we need to start things moving and schools are just an aspect of this equation.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

DahliaDay · 19/05/2020 21:03

I think op, how about you don’t tell people what they can and can’t post!

I for one. Will post or start threads about anything I like..... including school/childcare/anything

Thescrewinthetuna · 19/05/2020 21:08

People can post what they like 🤷🏻‍♀️

DamnYankee · 19/05/2020 21:09

And I’ve had a “discussion” just this morning with a poster who isn’t sending her children yet as she wants to see how other children “survive” first

As my mother would say, "Well, God bless her little pointed head."

So to her, kids who go back are guinea pigs. Ffs. I hope you gave her what for!

DahliaDay · 19/05/2020 21:16

Well yes, many people absolutely will be watching to see what happens

DownADirtRoad · 19/05/2020 21:16

There’s been just as many judgemental posts from those who are sending their kids back than from those who aren’t. People like to argue and judge others, we see it on here every day about lots of topics, it’s no shock that this topic is any different.

Nicknacky · 19/05/2020 21:22

DamnYankee What’s the point with people like that? Interesting she assumed I was sending my child in June and feeling guilty for my decision and needed validation.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’m in Scotland and ours won’t be going back till August at the earliest.

RitzSpy · 19/05/2020 21:38

I didn’t have the heart to tell her I’m in Scotland and ours won’t be going back till August at the earliest 😂

Nicknacky · 19/05/2020 21:44

“Hey, if you are happy to send your own kids to test the water so the rest of us can see how it works, what it does to the rate of infection, how the children survive - and looking at medical testimonies it's not great - and how the school day is organised, I am grateful personally. “

RitzSpy I don’t know how to bold but that was her post.

That’s the kinda judgement parents are getting

RitzSpy · 19/05/2020 21:54

@Nicknacky, I think they are not in a good place.

Nicknacky · 19/05/2020 21:56

RitzSpy I’ve see her on a few threads, I think you are being more generous than me!

Crunchymum · 19/05/2020 22:02

As this thread proves, people can be competitive about anything (who wants their children to go back the most)

I think we just all need to be respectful and appreciate that we aren't all going to agree.

I'll do what I need to do and I won't judge those who make a different choice.

RitzSpy · 19/05/2020 22:04

Nicknacky I agree - but I am choosing to believe there is a clinical reason for his/ her behaviour - I doubt they'd see that as generous, but I think fear has brought out the worst (and the best) in some people.

DahliaDay · 19/05/2020 22:09

Let’s be honest the UK have fucked up the whole thing, our statistics are embarrassing and our government appear to be a laughing stock. People have watched it unfold around us, heard of the mistakes

This could go either way..... it’s weighted towards disaster

Clytemnestra2 · 19/05/2020 22:15

I agree OP. I wonder how many of the parents loudly proclaiming they wouldn’t dream of sending their kids back on 1 June will quietly send them back two or three weeks after this when the world doesn’t collapse and their kids want to see their friends. Plus teachers can’t be expected to provide online learning and support indefinitely (apart from to kids who have a shielding family member).

Plus their perception of risk is completely skewed. For instance the risk of the average child being hit by a car on the school run is higher than the risk of contracting the virus. But because coronavirus is a ‘new’ risk people don’t process it in the same way as a risk they’ve always lived with, such as traffic.

EstherEliza · 19/05/2020 22:19

Seems to be judgement both sides to me.

Tr1skel1on · 19/05/2020 22:22

I haven't RTFT but my kids will definitely be going back, because I'll be working full time in a school!!!

I luckily have family in Denmark who have had kids back at school for nearly a month now. They have been able to reassure me.

Its absolutely fine. The sky hasn't fallen in. The high schools went back this week. No drama. Distancing reduced to 1m because 2m just isn't needed.

Yester · 19/05/2020 22:36

I guess a lot depends on if you think the government are doing a good job now "following the science" and our current awful 2nd place in world deaths.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 19/05/2020 23:06

Hi OP and others, I hope I didn't offend any of you with my rhetorical question. I don't have children or a job since mid March, so the decision doesn't effect me but I have been following the conversation and I hope nobody is being pressured into going against their own instincts for their children out of necessity.

Nicknacky · 19/05/2020 23:07

Where is the question?

RaggieDolls · 20/05/2020 08:03

@Clytemnestra2 we had our letter from school setting out arrangements last night and interestingly it says you need to register now and there is unlikely to be a second registration opportunity until August.

The head says he needs numbers to plan effectively so he isn't offering the opportunity to send children back in dribs and drabs.

User8008135 · 20/05/2020 08:30

Yanbu that judgements should stop but on both sides. Its definitely the new sahp/working parent bitchfest for some people on both sides. You only have to look at some Mumsnet posters on both sides for that.

I think it's all wrapped up in mum guilt, whichever the situation- for those who need to shout for validation and squash the other side i mean. Not for normal folk.

My dcs nursery is limited by numbers so i doubt we will be offered. They've done an impressive amount of things, some of which I'm doubtful my littliest dc would cope with- car park drop off for example as he cries every drop off before anyway. But in fairness he is very young.

pipnchops · 20/05/2020 08:39

There literally is no right answer in this situation, yet again the government is giving the decision to the public instead of giving clear leadership. You are damned if you do, damned if you don't and to be honest deep down we're probably all judging ourselves for whatever decision we make because without the power of hindsight none of us know whether we're making the right one.