Please stop going on about how you won't be sending your children back

[Ultrasoft]

If you make that decision that's entirely up to you and absolutely fine but do you have to keep telling people? People are being really nasty about it with a definite undertone of I'm a better parent/I love my children more than you do.

Lots of people will have to send their children back for all sorts of perfectly reasonable reasons. Some children really need to be back at school for their own safety and wellbeing.

Parents taking those decisions have enough on their plates, why would you want to add your judgement to that? And why would you want social stigma to prevent children who need to go back being sent back?

Stop looking for validation for your decision and trying to take it away from theirs. If you're happy, that's fine. Making other people miserable helps you how?

Does it even matter- I don’t know one mum who is not sending their child back and thinking that makes them better than the rest, it’s in your head...

I couldn’t care less what other people do with their children...as long as they are not being hit or abused it’s not my concern

I can imagine the mum's who don't send their DC back stood at the school gates pelting the mum's dropping off their DC at school with eggs
🤣🤣🤣
Dd is due to start school in August. I really hope she gets to go.

Is there judgement? I'd send mine back like a shot if they were in the years that were going back.

I've assessed the risks, and benefits and think they should be at school.

And I'm a bloody fantastic parent!

Thank you for saying this 🙌 I'll be returning to work mid June and me and my husband have rearranged all of our working hours and husband will be working from home as much as he can, but with all the good will in the world we've been left with one day per week that my daughter will need to go to her childminder, and all of the other mums I've seen expressing their opinions has put the fear of God into me!

The conversation has come up in mine and my friends WhatsApp group chat and I was absolutely dived on by a couple of my own friends, who have told me they aren't sending their children back and aren't even sure they will be sending back in September, and the best solution for me would be to hand in my notice and look for another job when things are safer. All of the bog standard hysterical Facebook posts have been thrown around 🙄 about children being guinea pigs and one of them sent me the one about if my child catches covid she will be taken away from me by strangers and will be alone in hospital. I understand it's a very emotive topic but going forward I will be keeping all of my parenting decisions to myself

Mine never left nursery. Couldn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks about that decision.

It works both ways. Pious parents not sending kids in, zealous anti-"sheeple" sending them in in the 31st of May.

Do what you like. Do it quietly.

I must live in a bubble, I've no idea of this judgement from the public on peoples choice.

I'm not sending my kids back this summer. I feel I have to justify it/explain, as it's not without consequences.

I really am glad I don't see this judgement (for people on either side of the decision!)

Just ignore people and don't read anything into it. Everyone has their own issues and feels a need to explain. It's not always a pointed dig.

There isn't much judgement in reality. But people like creating arguments.

Some of my mates are having a bbq today, the party will go on all night, zero plans to social distance. It is up to them, I'm not going but I don't care that they are.

So I definitely don't give a shit what OP decides to do with regards to school next month

It's not affecting me personally, my children are grown up now (thank god) but the families I work to support are definitely feeling judged if they're considering going back and it's adding to the trauma of the whole thing for families who, frankly, don't need any more trauma.

I agree some people are too keen to tell others they are wrong on both sides, but I think this one is more prevalent and more harmful.

Luckily IRL when I've discussed this with my mum friends everyone's been very nice and realised that everyone's situation and children are different.

Of the not going back parents, fear of the virus wasn't even the main reason, they were - worries about social distancing being stressful for DC, other siblings being in year groups that aren't going back, and prefering to see grandparents (when allowed)

It's the ones on social media. "I'm not sending my child back to be a guinea pig, it's not safe."

Ok, no need to announce it on Facebook. No one cares.

I've seen both sides being quite vocal about it to be honest. I don't know what we will do yet but I do think the whole thing has been badly thought out. How many people will only have children in Years R, 1 and 6 so can actually go back to work especially when there is zero wrap around care?

Thank you! My fb is full of this shite, mostly from parents who have partners and more than one kid. I love my dd but as a lone parent of an only child she NEEDS more than me. I'm going to look at the figures in a few weeks and do a sensible risk assessment. Not going to announce my intentions all over fb ffs

*But from the other side you could say keep insisting it's safe and telling others to stop saying it is just trying to stop you from feeling guilty about your own decision.

This is the new SAHM / working mum debate .....*

^^You can't win whatever you choose. Those choosing not to send their children back are being slated for not caring about their children, destroying their mental health and being really shit workshy people. Those choosing to send back are being slated for not caring about their children's physical health and mental health again, due to social distancing that may or may not happen in school, having children but not wanting to look after them yada, yada, yada.

Can't we all just get on with what we are choosing, if someone posts what they are doing, we are big enough to just scroll on by instead of jumping on one an another like this.

You can bet your bottom dollar that these posters are the very same ones who are complaining like mad that the schools aren't sending the right/enough/too much work, that actually they are having to work full-time from home for ££££ and home school while their DP buggers off on his bike or to play golf, that they can't get a delivery slot for love nor money, that they have already had to cancel three holidays, they are fuming because their cleaner won't come back because they refused to pay her a retainer etc etc etc.

Yes OP I totally agree.

Send your child in or don't send them in. Your reasons are your reasons and that's good enough for anyone ( or should be).

It's harmful, competitive fecking nonsense to judge anyone else or position yourself as superior whichever choice you make.

My son has been at his special SEND school throughout and it's been effing marvellous for him. I'm a sodding amazing parent who fought a legal battle to get him out of mainstream last year - no way I'm letting his mental health suffer any more than it already had after years of trying to fit into mainstream.

I don't need Dd to go back, I'm teaching from home and unlikely to be needed in school other than for the odd day covering the remaining keyworkers children. Our Yr 10 s are being provided with laptops and dongles to access online lessons.

However Dd is an only child, with no cousins locally or friends on the road and it's very likely if she doesn't go back she won't have socialised with another child in person for over 6 months by the time September comes around. She's a pleasure to have at home, brilliantly behaved gets up straightaway and does her schoolwork, but she's also had (unusual for her) teary moments and I think being away from school is impacting her more than she is letting on. She's Yr 5 so when/if the time comes she'll be going back. Hopefully without the need for uniform as she's grown 3 inches since the start of lockdown and none of her school clothes or shoes will fit!

Quite - our eldest will be working in a school and they are talking about all the measures that will be in place. So some will just be getting on with it!

I agree OP. The judgement is equal both ways though, for example on this thread parents who have decided not to send their DC back to school in June are being accused of thinking they're 'holier than thou'. Can everyone just stop judging each other?

Make the best decision possible in your family's circumstances and let others do the same.

I totally agree with you OP..

I agree it's annoying, but I think at some level they are looking for validation of their choices.

The "wobblier" parents on our class what's app seem to be waiting to see what everyone else is doing. Meanwhile the most sensible comment I've seen is from a Mum who has pointed out that 1st June is still two weeks away and if the situation deteriorates they won't be going back anyway.

I haven't come across this at all, there is more a sense of confusion as to what to do. I am WFH but I'm not sure what the return to work will look like yet as I can adequately do my job at home. My concerns are that my DD has viral induced asthma, had a big asthma attack Christmas Eve and I was very scared.

It's the parents who keep telling us over and over again (they pop onto every thread that vaguely mentions the topic) what they have chosen to do whilst blasting anyone who dares disagree - because they really don't care what anyone else thinks, got that - they really don't! 🤣

Totally agree. It's just ridiculous. Do whatever you think is best but please don't continually ram your opinions down my throat.

I have commented before about how disrespectful the 'guinea pig' lines are if you are a key worker with children who've been attending school throughout.