Please stop going on about how you won't be sending your children back

[Ultrasoft]

If you make that decision that's entirely up to you and absolutely fine but do you have to keep telling people? People are being really nasty about it with a definite undertone of I'm a better parent/I love my children more than you do.

Lots of people will have to send their children back for all sorts of perfectly reasonable reasons. Some children really need to be back at school for their own safety and wellbeing.

Parents taking those decisions have enough on their plates, why would you want to add your judgement to that? And why would you want social stigma to prevent children who need to go back being sent back?

Stop looking for validation for your decision and trying to take it away from theirs. If you're happy, that's fine. Making other people miserable helps you how?

I have commented before about how disrespectful the 'guinea pig' lines are if you are a key worker with children who've been attending school throughout. Absolutely!

I know someone who receives some messages of people about their child being in school and being irresponsible. They are a key worker !!
People really need to just accept its the parents decision and not virtualise either way
And as for eton they would finish up around June time anyway as private schools always have much longer holidays but then I read on another thread eton are actually doing their bit during this

Isn't this about money /wfh/sahp/furloughed versus the other parents that don't really have a choice? Genuine question.

Probably Doing but why do either side feel the need to put others down to justify their decisions? Obviously, people will do what suits them but why can't they do it quietly?

OP - I'm in a bubble about my kids going back. I'm in a very different situation to most on that I have two kids in school full time with ehcps right now anyway.

My year R daughters school isn't striking. She is going back because we sucked up the risk sending the SEN two in.

I'm ignoring what every other family will or wont do, why and their reasons etc.

It has no bearing on my family. I cant stop a teachers strike and I dont care what anyone thinks.

For my MH I'm not going there.

Send or dont send I say. But I'm not going to invest my mental stability in others views or actions. I'm teflon neutral on the subject.

We don’t know when any children will be able to go back yet. Government has only said that certain years might restart from June 1st at the earliest. If it isn’t considered safe then nobody will be allowed to go back. Chances are it won’t happen for several more weeks.

Isn't this about money /wfh/sahp/furloughed versus the other parents that don't really have a choice? Genuine question.

No. That might be in some cases

I have a choice and I choose to send my child into school because it's the best choice for him.

SAHP and ex teacher here. Mine are going in.

My dc isn't in the right year group but I would send them in. We don't need 'childcare' (yet) but to wait until September potentially is such a long time. I have heard mums on local groups saying- yes keep our babies at home to keep them safe and loved etc and lots of people jumping on the bandwagon. It is annoying but I don't feel I can comment as I know I will be perceived as my child is less loved.

I only have 1 dc. They're my life, I would never ever put them at undue risk. I'm a highly educated person (with a science background) who has read as much evidence as I can- in between working full time 😳. I'm also a child psychologist still working with children and schools. The heads/ sencos i speak to daily are very calm and are doing a great job of putting in sensible plans. On the ground I've seen first hand the impact of not being in school- 2 camps, children and parents who were already anxious not wanting to go back/ or their children going back- ever. This is going to be really difficult to manage once schools open- loads of school refusers. On the other hand parents who are struggling to manage their dc with very significant needs. Getting hurt every day and hurting their siblings because they can't understand this huge upheaval that has happened. We need to get some semblance of normality back soon, especially for our most vulnerable children and families.

Instead of not get annoyed just laugh inside your head at poor twats like me who will have my 3 at home til at least September through my own choice. It's for good reason but it's not because I want to. It benefits your kids too as it means less chance of them catchung/bringing home virus.

A lot of teachers are discouraging kids to come back anyway.

My nursery DD is returning. We don't have to send her but have decided to. Her friend is vocally not going back but keeps asking us to have socially distanced play dates in the garden and went on the bus as a fun outing The picking and choosing annoys me.

It's such a boring topic now. We know that if your not sending them back it's because you think those who are, are reckless parents. Don't care about staff and are murders.

I'm bored of it! Mine are going back because I believe the science. I don't for one minute believe the school's would be reopening if it was dangerous. They need to be back in school and no I'm not a murderer who doesn't care about my kids or anyone else.

Thank you OP .
I've had to endure the sad faces and heartbreak emojis non stop because of those " kids in France " and our kids " cant share pencils" I mean wtaf
I respect every parent's right to do the best thing for their family, but since voicing my decision that DS will be going back I'm being asked time and time again to justify it.
I've stopped replying to people now

I do however strongly believe that parents who are keyworkers but are working reduced hours, getting paid special leave or on any other for of paid adjustment because of childcare should have to send their to schools or not be paid for the hours for the hours they can't work. Unless they are shielding and can evidence that to the employer.

The other thing is posters on here nastily saying parents are only using school for childcare ; as though earning a living is some kind of selfish decadent hobby they shouldn't be doing.

It's called paying bills!

Similar to bendingspoons, the person on my FB who is most vocal about not sending her children back has no concerns over what she does during lockdown just her children, and the contradiction is getting on my nerves tbh. Gets very defensive when called out on it, not by me although it is getting harder not to point out the obvious differences

There is a definite assumption that parents whose kids are at home are judgmental pricks

Not at all, but the ones shouting about it on the local paper’s Facebook page most definitely fall into that category.

Thank you for this. I have been made to feel pretty crap about my choice to send my daughter back who is in Year R. My husband moved out at the end of Feb so I find myself a single parent, working full time from home with 2 kids of very different needs. And my work has never been more busy. Every day I feel like I haven't done something well enough and it is affecting me and the kids, without a shadow of a doubt. So yes I am sending her back as I don't feel I can sustain this for much longer and she desperately misses her friends, teachers and her routine. I feel like a rubbish enough parent as it is right now without being told of I loved my child I would keep her home 😞

The other thing is posters on here nastily saying parents are only using school for childcare ; as though earning a living is some kind of selfish decadent hobby they shouldn't be doing.

Obviously we should all peddle shite on Facebook instead then we can work around our children. #bossbabe #livingthedream #lostallmyfriendsandgotevictedbecauseIcouldn’taffordmyrent

"Isn't this about money /wfh/sahp/furloughed versus the other parents that don't really have a choice? Genuine question."

Nope. I can work from home. I will be allowed to continue to wfh after 1 June. My kids are 8/10/12 so old enough to get on with some work and my employer is understanding too.
My kids will be going back when allowed because they want to, and because all the evidence is that children are at v v v low risk from covid-19 and their parents also at v v low risk if under 45 and no underlying health conditions. And they miss their friends. That's not because I'm a shit parent, that's because friends and social interaction are important. I miss my friends too.

The classic thing is the ‘risk’ was much higher prior to lockdown - when the community cases and ‘R’ rate were much greater than they are now. But at the time everyone was at school and the majority stayed well.

My kids are going back because I understand the science and I don't believe tabloid shit stirring. I've home schooled with little problem, have a big garden and wfh very easily with my older kids.

I would argue that those keeping their dc at home are actually more self centred and less child centred because they can't understand that kids need experiences external to the home.

God, it’s so nice to read a balanced thread. I hope it continues.

Wow, lots of you comparing about the holier than though parents keeping their kids of school. If you really read the thread many of you (not all) are just as bad towards those who have made the decision to keep their kids at home!

There is no right or wrong decision. Each child and family circumstance is different and we do what’s best on an individual basis. It’s unprecedented times, let’s be kind please!