The Reverend Mark John of the Gov of Benin has just emailed me to say that they are sending me £1.2m

[HeIsAVeryBadBoy]

So that's great news obviously.

Can I get anyone anything?

Really lovely and personal that they use a gmail account too, rather than anything too formal or institutional.

Well sounds totally legit!

Could you get me some yeast, please? Fast acting.

And a bible so I can offer up a prayer of thanks

Could you get me some yeast, please? Fast acting.

Depends, what are you making? And will you share it/them with me?

God I really want some Chelsea buns now.

Well don't want to brag but...... Jesus himself has emailed me and said he is offering me a miracle.

The miracle of the super magic little blue pill. It is a miracle I tell you because my penis will become harder, bigger and help me last longer than I ever imagined.
Only ever having had a vag until now, I'm sure you agree this is infact a miracle.
I just need to subscribe and pay $49.99 every month!!

Actually when my card got swallowed by an ATM (DH lost his and the bank cancelled mine too ) a nice man in the queue offered to give me £100.

(This is actually true)

@Nb89 take that one over to the FWR boards, we have a particular interest in things like that

This sent me down a Wikipedia entry on Benin. Unusual for such a generous man the reverend doesn’t appear.

I’d love a treadmill
Also Can I get some milk chocolate and one whole nut - any as long as no palm oil (a shame for the Reverend as it is one of the main exports of Benin).

The crown prince of Dubai wants to follow me on Instagram. Do you think if I accept he'll send me a few bob?

HMRC sent me a text the other day advising me that they have accidentally taken far too much tax from me and would like to send me a refund, directly into my personal bank account.

I felt a bit sorry for them. They’ve obviously spent all my extra tax and now run out of money for envelopes and electronic cheques (I suspect they are also out of ink for their printer).

So I’ve just let them keep my refund. Bless.

Well, he obviously likes me much more, he is sending me 2,5 million!

YOU WHAT GIRLINTERRUPTED

I’d love a treadmill

That's a good one! I would actually like one too.

If any treadmill manufacturers are reading this, I think you should give me one of your treadmills. To show your generosity, as the gracious Rev. Mark John did.

That is all.

The crown prince of Dubai wants to follow me on Instagram. Do you think if I accept he'll send me a few bob?

I'm actually a bit jealous.

Chocolate fudge cake and ice cream for me please.

If any money left over a nice pair of fluffy comfy pjs.

Thank you and the rev

Was just about to order some grout cleaner from Amazon. I'll send you the link now you're flush

Hi VeryBadBoy If you prefer I can place an Ocado order, I just need to do it through your account and if everyone can provide me with their delivery address that would be great.

This is totally legit, I will throw in a free penis extender and the worlds smallest computer as a good will gesture.

Could you please pay the person who has a webcam video of me 'enjoying myself' as they are going to forward said video to all of my friends and family. Unfortunately I cannot get hold of enough bitcoin and obviously definitely believe they have this footage of me.
Thank you!

RevMarkJohnofBenin

OMG! REV MARK JOHN! What's up my minted friend?!!!!

By the way, I think we spent all of the cash. Can we have some more for treadmills , grout cleaner and some chocolate fudge cake please?

Could you please pay the person who has a webcam video of me 'enjoying myself'

Maybe that is also Rev Mark John? Perhaps he's on some sort of Robin Hood mission, stealing from the 'fappers' and giving to the 'non-fappers'.

Although that wouldn't explain why he's being so benevolent to me.

Btw, RevMarkJohnofBenin, apologies for Sam Smith-ing you in the title there.

I realise that you are a 'he' and not a 'they'.

Chocolate fudge cake for everyone!

Oh by the way I also have some top quality webcam footage "Mums Gone Wild" very saucy stuff from a fellow member of the cloth just £250 to you 😉

Is that biscuit or cake MrsDoyle?

Biscuit or cake?
Biscuit or cake?
BISCUIT OR CAKE?

(one for the Mrs Doyle fans)

And a nice cup of tea to go with it .

Ah'gwan