The Reverend Mark John of the Gov of Benin has just emailed me to say that they are sending me £1.2m

[HeIsAVeryBadBoy]

So that's great news obviously.

Can I get anyone anything?

Really lovely and personal that they use a gmail account too, rather than anything too formal or institutional.

That's lucky with the crisis and everything

Ask him if he has spare ppe.

Are you going to share.

Bitcoin have blocked me

Lucky you, send your bank details straight away and possibly a spare door key too

Could I have a packet of Fruit Pastilles please? And a small castle.

Wow, you are so lucky. Why 1.2 million? Not 1.5 or 1 million.

That's great news. And the fact he's a reverend gives you confidence that this is bona fide.

@DobbyTheHouseElk if it was a round number it would seem too suspicious, surely?!

I know right?! Great timing. Perfect. Thank you Rev. Mark John.

And yes, I'm very happy to share this very real and not-at-all fictional windfall. Fruit pastilles and a castle it is. Any particular colour castle Molly?

Have they got any spare flour?

And the fact he's a reverend gives you confidence that this is bona fide.

That's exactly what I thought. This can't possibly be fake, for he is a man of the cloth.

Have they got any spare flour?

I'll ask him.

Do,you have to do anything in return for this generous gift?

That's really nice of him, did he say why they chose you? I would like to get a takeaway tonight, if you could bung me £30.

Oo a snickers if your going out. And some fizzy pop of some kind please. How kind of you to share. And what a lovely lovely man Rev Mark John is. Didn’t even want to share it with anyone in his own country, just came straight to you!

Oh what a lovely surprise! Mine’s a G&T please.
If you have an hour or two spare, then have a look a ‘Atomicshrimp’ on YouTube- one of his ‘hobbies’ is to engage with the like of the very reverend benefactor Mark John. His videos are amusing.

Wow, you are so lucky. Why 1.2 million? Not 1.5 or 1 million.

Do you know Dobby, there isn't even an explanation of the source of the money, or why it should be coming to me.

As an aside, and breaking the fourth wall for a sec: I wonder if any legitimate Gov/solicitor types in Benin, Nigeria etc. have had difficulty in giving genuine but unexpected inheritances to people overseas?

Didn’t even want to share it with anyone in his own country, just came straight to you!

I know! Little British me, with no connection to Benin at all. If that's not generosity, I don't know what is.

I will add snickers, fizzy pop and a takeaway to the list.

Maybe I should email him and instruct him not to bother sending me the cash, just shove an Asda order in for me and my MN friends?

In between a packet of fruit pastilles and a castle: a conservatory. I'd love one as a reading room? Many thanks

Although I'm agnostic so maybe the good Father wouldn't want his money spent on a heathen

Presumably it will take a couple of days to clear into your account? Just in time for Starbucks to reopen on Thursday. I'll have a tall vanilla latte thanks.

Wow, what good timing with everything that is going on right now. I'll have a G & T please, if you are buying. I'm sure the Rev is absolutely the real deal but if you're after a bit of entertainment, read the Bob Servant emails.

I’m assuming it’s Gods word and you ought not to question why or how this money is coming to you. But accept that it is, and God has chosen you.

I would like some knives please. The sort you eat your dinner with.I need a shedload as they are disappering at the rate of knots in my flat!

I brought some (all cutlery) with me when I moved in years ago. Then when mum died, I took all her cutlery. I have since restored the knives three times! So more please!

Thanks Muchly!