The Reverend Mark John of the Gov of Benin has just emailed me to say that they are sending me £1.2m

[HeIsAVeryBadBoy]

So that's great news obviously.

Can I get anyone anything?

Really lovely and personal that they use a gmail account too, rather than anything too formal or institutional.

Botally tono fido

I won't be too greedy so I won't ask for a castle. But a nice detached house with a good garden would be nice. Oh, and a toffee crisp.

We need this on one of those round ups of positive news during the time of corona, in the telegraph and whatever.

I'd like 10 low growing periwinkles, some peat free compost and a new pair of gardening gloves please. Guess what'll be happening at the weekend in that shady patch?

Can I have: a chicken tikka wrap with extra red onion, two pairs of M&S chinos with 33 inside leg, and a low mileage Skoda Yeti. Thanks.

Ooh, some of the pasty shops round here have just reopened, so a medium steak pasty and a saffron bun please.

I'll have a saag paneer with a peshwari naan, thanks!

Ooh thanks BadBoy I'll have a cherry coke and a creme egg please, and I could do with a new hoody as DH keeps wanting to wear his big snuggly one himself.

I think that's the 1.2 million used up, especially with a small castle thrown in.

Do you think the good Reverand may be prompted for a little more ?
I would love a bag of doofahs for my wotsit, preferably in tartan paint please.

I received this from a childless widow in America advising:

"If you will be honest, kind, humble and willing to assist me exercise this function as I’ve mentioned here, I will like you to provide me your personal data like"

But! I am nobody's fool!

The needless use of "like" at the end of that sentence alerts me to the fact that they must be, in fact, a teenager in the UK and not a US childless widow.

But yours, @HeIsAVeryBadBoy, sounds totally legit as they are a man of the cloth. Please can I have some Haribo Goldbears, some Anchor thread in Shade 203, and a pot of basil. Not Thai basil as it's too aniseedy.

TIA. I'll PM you my address as although you are a stranger on the internet, you are a MNer so automatically I trust you and am happy to give you my details.

I believe in paying it forward, so I'm off to find a MN thread from someone who needs £10 for their electricity as they have no light to see their twins by.

Oh and thank him very much for his genourosity, (how do you spell that, I seem to have forgotten).won't you!!!

Actually, also, seeing as you have so much money please can I have a bottle of Chanel Boy perfume? It would really cheer me up.

Rev Mark sounds like a good un - his parents must be so proud
Thanks op, mine's a pony

I would like some knives please. The sort you eat your dinner with.I need a shedload as they are disappering at the rate of knots in my flat!

Are you using them for basic DIY? Unscrewing plugs and whatnot? Because if so, you might want a screwdriver too?

God has chosen you.

Fuck me. The obviousness of this situation has just dawned on me with your wise words.

I have been chosen.

provide me your personal data like

I think your 'childless American widow' might be a Geordie *Sorryoo

Sorryoo

Apols for the typo. My Godliness-chosen status has gone to my head somewhat.

AssangesCat I read your request for 'some peat free compost' as a request for some peat free condoms and that glaring fuck-up in my brain entertained me even more when I read your next sentence:

Guess what'll be happening at the weekend in that shady patch?

[Grin]

Lend me a tenner?

Don't spend it all at once OP.

Can you pay my TV licence? I've just had an email saying my payment failed and I'm to send them my bank details.

I think that's the 1.2 million used up, especially with a small castle thrown in.

That's a good point. Perhaps I should set some limits. 10k each?

I'll PM you my address as although you are a stranger on the internet, you are a MNer so automatically I trust you and am happy to give you my details.

And so you should.

Was the address [email protected] Nubbled?

If so, that is very genuine

That's nice.

I was once offered a couple of mil by a nice man in a hospice in Leamington Spa. There was also someone in America who wanted to send me a lot of cash because they were feeling generous.

I don't know what I am doing wrong, because I asked them for their bank details so that I could get my bank to request the transfer but I never heard back...

That's the one @HeIsAVeryBadBoy I feel reassured now.