Dementors Begone!

[ThatLibraryMiss]

Take your shaming and your doom and gloom somewhere else.

I was laid in my garden this afternoon and just randomly thought of my mum.
She was diagnosed with lung cancer 4 and a half years ago. It was incurable but they gave her chemo to give her more time.
During this time she had several nights out and trips with the family (she was quite lucky with the side effects of the chemo) and each and every time her doctor would advise against going out where there may be groups of people (restaurants, theatres etc) as her immune system was shot through the chemo and if she picked up an infection it could be catastrophic.
She would always just say "I'm having chemo so I can live life and spend quality time having fun with my family. Locking me in my home is not living, it is exisiting. What's the point in having treatment to help you live, if you aren't going to live?"
She wasn't reckless, but she assessed her situation, took sensible precautions and carried on.
I wonder what she would think of all this if she were still with us.

@jourdain11 exactly the same as my experience. You'll only be safe saying it in here though . I implore you not to venture off this thread or you'll be ripped apart by pitchfork waving MNetters who cannot have their belief in how lockdown should and is being carried out, challenged in any way!

Wow. What a woman your mum was Livin I hope if I was tested in this way I would have a fraction of her practical, philosophical, courageous spirit.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat my mother in law as diagnosed with cancer about 5 years ago and is now classed as terminal. She decided to give each treatment offered a go, but said she wasn't fighting it because how can you fight your own body? How can you keep organs working that are too damaged to work and how can you keep a heart beating that wants to stop?

She's still, amazingly, going strong even though she's nw had no chemo for a couple of months. She feels better in herself because of the lack of side effects and has decided that she's just going to enjoy herself - and wine and food - for as long as she can. When she's in pain she takes painkillers and at the end she wants to be doped up and not know anything.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Oh yeah! It is fake news, apparently. At the start of lockdown (before I got my AML diagnosis and was still going out to the shops and walks and stuff) it really was ghostly quiet. But not now

DH is also a murderer because he went for a drink with colleagues on Final Friday (his excuse is that they were already at the pub when Boris said, "I implore you not to go out tonight", so he wasn't disobeying instructions ). I'm a murderer because I was still getting on the tube to go to work that same week. We also are guilty of pitting our DC's lives at risk because they were in school until the last day. (Miraculously, they're still fine...)

Livin - I am sorry to hear about your mum. Her attitude reminds me of my mum, who has stage 3 ovarian cancer. She tells me that she didn't survive emergency surgery resulting in an ileostomy bag, followed by chemo, just so she could sit at home on her own and not see anyone. She is meeting some of her local friends for walks or to sit in the front garden (at a distance).

Oh and we all totally ignored the VE Day stuff, but good on those who had a party and a bit of light relief for a while.

My nephew (who does live with me) and I took the dogs to the coast for a walk. It's a bit further than we are apparently allowed to go, but thought fuck it. There were a few others who obviously thought the same. We had a coffee from a takeaway, sat on the beach and watched the dogs swim for a couple of hours whilst having a rare long catch up. Came home and decided to do a bbq and get pissed. Getting pissed is a feature of my house at weekends these days!

Thanks ghost and summer
When she first got her diagnosis she had an appointment with the chemo doctor then had to wait two weeks for chemo to start. So she went on holiday. I kid you not.
My aunty told her she was being foolish as her insurance would be astronomical and what if she died over there.
She just laughed and said that shes enough money to cover bringing her back dead in her bank and the insurance cost doesnt matter as "no one ever lay on their death bed wishing they'd had fewer holidays" next day she was on a plane to Parga for a week....

Your mums all sound awesome and very sensible and healthy outlook on life, I think!

When I was going through diagnosis etc. a lot of people were saying, "I don't know how you can take the risk of going into hospital." I couldn't seem to manage to explain that I was far less worried about going into the (completely deserted) hospital than I was about dying from untreated blood cancer...

To your mum Livin

That line will stay with me and pop up every time I wonder if we should book a holiday.

🍷 summerhouse
It's my new philosophy.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh I hope your Mum carries on en enjoying life for much longer. There's a fine balance quality and quantity.

Sadly my aunt refused to try anything and never left hospital. She was told that treatment (I can't remember what but I'm presuming chemo) would give her longer but she refused. Sadly she didn't have either quality or quantity in the end.

On the flip side, when my Mum was taken to hospital just before she died I refused treatment for her. She had heart and kidney failure and deteriorated rapidly and I was told that treatment would take her back to the same state as when she went in, hardly able to walk or talk and would have involved wearing a heavy mask a lot of the time. I said no and still hate myself to this day for that even though the doctor and my uncle agreed with me.

There's also the whole 'Well, my town is completely back to normal' whine we've been hearing for at least 5 weeks, ie, since almost the start of 'lockdown'.

How could it be 'normal'? School is out. Most shops are shut. So are all sit-down pubs, restaurants, cafes etc. Public transport is down to a bare minimum. No cinemas, clubs or other places of entertainment. And despite what the dementors say about Helen from number 17 'popping out' several times a day, the actual govt statistics show that all forms of traffic and public interaction have dropped dramatically and stayed that way.

These people must live in pretty dull towns if this is 'normal' for them. Maybe that explains their obsession with Helen in number 17? Or the complete stranger in the supermarket queue who had the audacity to buy a non-essential bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk?

Sweet baby Jebus.

Highest death toll in Europe and many covid wards are almost full with people dying

The problem is that we're not seeing that - the BBC need to visit a ward on the 6pm news and interview the somber doctors who will tell the people to stay home

Instead of showing heartwarming stories

We need to see the TRUTH about the deaths

Bold fail on the first sentence of that quote....sorry I blame the Jack Daniels OH has just plied me with.

I made exactly that point on a thread IcedPurple and was told to stop being pedantic! I kid you not.

I saw a facebook comment today saying "is 2 weeks in Benidorm worth being in a coffin"

Now, you see, I think that all the time, but my fear of flying and subsequently crashing is very illogical.

The local dementors are probably frothing now because the park yesterday didn't get over-run like they so thought it would.

I give you this...

So apparently you can’t catch COVID-19 on VE Day???? Last nights shift was like a NYE, worst I’ve seen in a very long time, lost count of the amount of CT heads that were needed. Intoxicated, assaults, head injuries
So in about 12 days time, expect a peek because all the hard work of everyone front line was a total waste of time. Don’t bother clapping Thursday because you’ve stabbed us all in the back

Enjoy.

Pink I am so sorry about your Mum, but please don't hate yourself for the brave decision you made. It takes absolute true love to let someone go and not prolong their suffering.

@Pink please don't hate yourself.. that's exactly the decision I'd like someone to make for me if i were in her shoes. 💐

I got told I should go into a covid ward and tell them I enjoyed myself yesterday!

Haahaa! I'd have responded, 'But wouldn't that count as a non-essential journey, you rebel, you?!'

Someone in the wild has been outraged by Banksy's non essential trip to the hospital to do his Art. Support from other people I know.

Pink I just wanted to say please try not to hate yourself. Obvs I'm a randomer on the Internet so it matters not a jot what I think but having had to think through these decisions myself I just wanted to send support through the ether and say that not prolonging suffering can absolutely be the right and best thing to do.

Thank you @TheGreatWave and @Mascotte, I know deep down it was right for her and I know she wouldn't have wanted to live like that, the same as I wouldn't.

Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the thread down

Thank you as well @iamapixie. It's not something you ever think you'll have to do is it? I remember telling DH I don't like being a grown up as you have to make difficult decisions!