Inexplicable product warnings

[TriciaMcMillan]

I've treated myself to a few bathroom products to keep lockdown fresh. Today my new Sanctuary shower creme arrived.

I enjoy something to read in the shower, and therefore was thumbing through the instructions on the bottle for a mindless diversion. It contains the stark warning 'DO NOT USE ON FACE'.

Now, I appreciate bits of my face may be more sensitive than most of the rest of me, and it does contain an additional warning in case I feel the inexplicably urge to massage it into my eyeballs (SPOILER ALERT: it suggests not to). But I admit to being a bit baffled that something I can wash my body with, might be the equivalent of liquid magma if applied to my face.

Admittedly, I was feeling adventurous, threw caution to the wind and have in fact washed my face with it. Have to see if my skin flakes off later this evening.

Does anyone else have any tales of strange product warnings or instructions that make you wonder what on earth the manufacturers were thinking?

Ha that made me giggle OP I love the packets of peanuts that suggest they might contain nuts... (admittedly I haven't seen any in years that say that though)

I like the one on pork scratchings that says you should only eat them if you have good strong teeth!

Dog poo bags have picture instructions on how to put your hand in the bag, pick up the poo, turn it inside out and tie it off. I have yet to meet a person that picks up dog poo with their bare hands and then puts it in the bag.

I bought a bottle of champagne with a sticker saying not to microwave it

Slightly concerned that my post should have the warning 'does not contain paragraphs'. It did when I posted it!

@TigerDroveAgain you have to wonder what led them to need to include that warning....

A woman I know hired a chainsaw some years ago and it had "DO NOT USE GENITALS TO STOP THE BLADE" written on it.

I used to have some heated eyelash curlers and they came with the warning "Do not use on a sleeping or comatose person."

The paper cups used to serve tea etc in work warn that the contents may be hot

The best one I ever saw was on a packet of peanuts on a flight.

The packet stated 'Caution! May contain NUTS'

1 - I hope the packet does contain peanuts - which are highly allergenic for some people.

2 - Peanuts are not nuts - but are still highly allergenic for some people.

I love these warnings.

I bought a foot spa last year, yes it's barely been used and according to the instructions "retarded old people" must be supervised when using. Can only hope the author fell foul of some translating tool.

A packet of condoms that said "Do not return used product to the manufacturer in the post."

A woman I know hired a chainsaw some years ago and it had "DO NOT USE GENITALS TO STOP THE BLADE" written on it.

@INeedACorona

I once went on a jet ski that had a warning sticker telling me not to put the jet of water that comes out of them in any of my orifices. I feel that it is fairly clear that a specific incident must have led to that sticker...

A packet of condoms that said "Do not return used product to the manufacturer in the post."
Omg that's hilarious!!!

Just googled 'jet ski warning labels' to check I hadn't imagined that warning label in a fever dream and nope, here it is:

I always think the severely toned washing capsule adverts are ridiculous.

And then I remember we're dealing with the general public here.

None of these are inexplicable. We are the two legged equivalents of a flock of sheep, the one species most determined to attain the status of death in as many ways as possible. And even sheep have the sense to try to run away from dogs, whereas we climb into cages and enclosures to have cuddles with Lions and Orca.

A hot air gun I bought recently for stripping paint carries the instruction of 'not to use as a hairdryer'!

Not quite the same, but I bought a hip carrier for carrying my DD last year and the printed warnings were... interesting. The line about not using it 'in the crotch' is particularly worrisome.

@Daisymclazy

@ScarfLadysBag the rest is pretty hilarious too. Thank you for making me laugh out loud.

I have an electric laminating machine. The manual is quite short and succinct, but does contain the instruction not to put it in a dishwasher. Why would anyone put any office appliance in a dishwasher?

DarylDixonsHair
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

We had some medicine for the dog that warned you not to take it and then operate any heavy machinery.