Inexplicable product warnings

[TriciaMcMillan]

I've treated myself to a few bathroom products to keep lockdown fresh. Today my new Sanctuary shower creme arrived.

I enjoy something to read in the shower, and therefore was thumbing through the instructions on the bottle for a mindless diversion. It contains the stark warning 'DO NOT USE ON FACE'.

Now, I appreciate bits of my face may be more sensitive than most of the rest of me, and it does contain an additional warning in case I feel the inexplicably urge to massage it into my eyeballs (SPOILER ALERT: it suggests not to). But I admit to being a bit baffled that something I can wash my body with, might be the equivalent of liquid magma if applied to my face.

Admittedly, I was feeling adventurous, threw caution to the wind and have in fact washed my face with it. Have to see if my skin flakes off later this evening.

Does anyone else have any tales of strange product warnings or instructions that make you wonder what on earth the manufacturers were thinking?

I love this one courtesy of virgin trains!!

I once stayed in a hotel with a long list of rules on the door. My favourite was do not be prostitute.

A packet of condoms that said "Do not return used product to the manufacturer in the post."

Sadly it's necessary. I worked in the condom team at Boots hq many years ago. At least once a week we'd get broken condoms sent to us. Gross.

I read this on the box of a new iron I'd bought once:

"Caution! Do not iron clothes whilst wearing them. (Don't laugh, people have tried it before!)"

Also, not mine but one I read about.

On the box for a kid's pop-up play tent:

"Do not use to protect yourself in the event of a hurricane."

Fridge that carried the strict instructions not to store explosives in it 🧐

Not got a photo, but another Virgin trains one, saying that the plug sockets under the table are for charging your laptop only and not for other devices such as hair straighteners and sandwich toasters.

Bought my son a toy submarine. Big letters on the box: DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER.