Dementors can dement but we'll keep it positive here

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

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Dementor free zone

Really hoping Costa extend their trial re-opening before I die of caffeine deprivation.

DH, who normally works up that way, has decreed that going up to Mansfield to find me a Costa drive through is unreasonable.

Fecker. The vending machine version just isn't cutting it.

Forgive me MADs (Mumsnetters Against Dementors) for I have sinned.
Today I went to the supermarket to buy... wait for it... fondant icing and wine. That is it. The fondant icing was to make a birthday cake for my mum (she’s 60 tomorrow). We have made said cake. Tomorrow we have decided we are going to dress up in party clothes (DC are 6, 4 and 1), we are taking the cake to granny’s house, we will light the candles on the cake then ring the doorbell and retreat to the other side of the courtyard (approx 7 meters), and we will sit and watch her blow her candles out and sing happy birthday. We also have balloons, and are taking her a plate of kids party food round (ham sandwiches, wotsits, cheese and pineapple on sticks and party rings) which we will also leave on her doorstep.
We will definitely smile, and maybe gasp even laugh.

OutwardBound2016 yeah I don’t get it when the dementors say things like ‘everyone around me is acting like normal’. Well my normal weekend is maybe a browse round the shops, getting my eyebrows done, taking the kids to a NT place for a walk followed by cake in the cafe, maybe a drink in a beer garden if it’s sunny, going out for dinner with DH on Saturday night, sometimes the cinema etc. How the hell are people managing to behave like ‘normal’?! Everything is bloody shut.

They think that the government is either going to pay them 80% of their salary to stay at home on furlough for 3 years/until there is a vaccine. Or their employer is going to continue paying them to home school their kids during working hours for the next 3 years/until there is a vaccine.

Ah bless. That's so deluded sweet. They'd better get in line with the ones wanting extra maternity leave.

I spoke to a friend a few days after my sister died. She asked me if I was SURE my sister hadn't died of coronavirus . Um, sorry to disappoint.

@psychomath

Ooh, are people dating again? Keep us posted, I’m gossip starved.

@drivingdownthe101

That laughing will be directly responsible for killing at least 100 people.

@ThatLibraryMiss

I asked who they thought would be paying for all of this and was told that I am selfish

Ahhhhh.....(lets out a happy sigh at finding this thread).

I don't know if anyone read the Cornwall thread a couple of days ago, which was full of Cornish dementors claiming that, even though they live 10 minutes walk away from a gorgeous beach, they would never, never endanger the NHS by so much as setting a foot on it, and that nobody in Cornwall is going to the beach.....

My. fat. arse.

Of COURSE we're going to the beach! No, we're not driving to the obvious, popular beaches, parking there and unloading armfuls of beach tat in order to spend the day there, but to be honest we rarely did. Today we drove 5 miles and parked on a country lane, walked half a mile down a public footpath to the beach, had a swim and a picnic. Last Sunday the kids were with my ex, so I drove half an hour to a village on the Lizard, parked my car there and enjoyed a 9 mile walk along the coast path in near total solitude.

But the sad, tragic thing is that a lot of friends aren't doing this for fear of being Dementored. One friend genuinely asked me if I'd been worried about someone putting my windscreen through. For doing something completely legal...

@crackofdoom

I’m so jealous that you have the Lizard on your doorstep. Enjoy!

Jesus Christ Willitneverend that's awful!

crackofdoom we are doing the same with the grounds of our local National Trust Park which is open to locals. We have been driving up there everyday (about 10 minutes drive away it is) parking in a country lane and walking through the grounds and just enjoying the beauty and tranquility. There are quite a few other people doing it but not ridiculous amounts.

Ooh, are people dating again? Keep us posted, I’m gossip starved.

Sadly not just yet, we live too far apart to so much as 'accidentally' bump into each other on our daily walks. And realistically it'll probably end up being more like staying home on a date and shagging loads than 'going' on one, unless we fancy a romantic evening walking round my local B&Q. But I'm almost a year out of a shit relationship that went on about four years too long, and I haven't been with anyone since and he seems like a genuinely nice guy, so at this point I'll take anything!

Willitneverend wow, some people are unbelievable!

Sorry TazSyd, I didn't want to sound boasty, but I've had it up to here with all the country walks, "Ooh, if you drive a few miles, then everybody else will, and you'll all be rubbing up each other in the same bit of woodland, and your car will probably break down on the way" dementors.

For fuck's sake people, stop trying to take away from us the one thing we have that is legal, healthy...and SAFE!! There are 140,000 miles of public footpaths in the UK- as I said to my mum today, at the moment this country belongs to those in possession of an Ordnance Survey map

(she doesn't live down here, she lives 30 miles outside London, but the same applies there).

I just read something about isolation increasing your risk of death by up to 30%. That's higher than your chances of dying from coronavirus.

Thank god you lot are here. I’m struggling with a couple of dementor work colleagues and they are driving me potty.
My mum is whipping herself into a anxious health frenzy - to keep her sane I make her and my aunt have a once a week drink in garden, far apart and bringing own glass. She’s convinced someone will call the police on them because so and so said it happened to their nieces boyfriends aunt.

@crackofdoom

“at the moment this country belongs to those in possession of an Ordnance Survey map”. Absolutely agree with this!

We aren’t far from the Peak District. We drove for 10 minutes and went for a 5 hour walk today.

We went on holiday to the Lizard a few years ago and it’s so incredibly beautiful. Hopefully we’ll be allowed to come and visit again soon .

@Waxonwaxoff0

In our case that would probably be due to pickled liver. We realised we were drinking nearly every night, it just crept up on us 😀. We put some rules around it and now only drink on a Friday and Saturday (as we do in normal working circumstances). I can see it could be a slippery slope though.

Ooh, another one! Someone starts a thread asking why oh why oh why are people queuing up for takeaway coffee and a Dementor pops in to say she wouldn't DREAM of it and this selfish behaviour is why the Nightingale hospitals will be rammed.

I've had some utterly delightful country walks and runs. It's been wonderful going whole kilometers without seeing another human, and well worth the cost of commiting mass MURDER by touching stiles and gates
Double points for pokemoning at the same time to maximise the fun

Oh the nightingale? The one which caters for 4000 patients yet has 30 beds being used? That nightingale 😆

at the moment this country belongs to those in possession of an Ordnance Survey map

Did you know you can add an OS overlay to Bing maps? Find your area and just below the three horizontal lines in the top right corner there's a little box. Hover over it and Ordnance Survey is the bottom option. I used it this afternoon to find the footpaths for my two-hour walk to, round and from the local golf course. The dog and I had a lovely time but now I'm wondering how many old ladies we murdered.

@TazSyd I've had to impose the same rules on myself, although I am eating like crap 3 out of 7 days as well!

Love a proper os map though librarymiss. My oh has brought the tile for our area for his phone but doesn't bring me as much joy as my paper map. Enjoy unfolding it on the living room planning walks with a side of accidental mass kiling

With the clear views, I can see the Peak District from the back of my neighbourhood, about 3 hills over. So near but yet so far. I've got nice stuff on the doorstep and few grab an OS map to explore because they tend to get in the car to drive 30 minutes to the famous spots. Well, I say nice, my calves hate living in a lumpy part of the world

We had a picnic on one walk, pretty minimalist, but my DCs need bribing with regular food, and while I can run 10k without refreshment, they take twice as long. Just sandwiches and some humous that needed finishing off, but I must confess that we sat on a PICNIC BLANKET because it was quite a scraggy, but quiet patch of rough ground and dead leaves that were out of the way.

The Dementors hit a big FB running group and it got to the point that admin had to ban reference to distance and Strava pictures just because the whole thing was so contentious, especially the imaginary one hour bollocks (appologies to those in Wales). It seems to be wearing off, and a lot of people held back by their own anxiety (rather than specific health issues) seem to be wearing thin on their additional self-imposed restrictions. The last week or so has seen a lot of people venturing out and feeling so much better for it.