Dementors can dement but we'll keep it positive here

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Dementor free zone

outwardbound totally agree people are used to having control over everything and someone to sue if it goes wrong. It isn’t until you’ve seen someone close to you die suddenly and before their time that you realise how fragile life is.

They should have reported more positively including mild cases and stories of recovery not just doom and death- the BBC have been shocking for this

We aren't daft we can understand doing stuff without being scared into it. It feels so emotionally manipulative and makes me feel quite angry about it. I'm unsure who these BBC reporters are but they just seem embarrassingly scare-mongery in their style, are they very young I wonder?

Sorry to use that MN phrase but it seems a bit naive and OTT

I’d assumed that they were just adding drama for the sake of entertainment rather than deliberately manipulating but maybe you’re right.

Yes, like those govt adverts: “Remember, you’re not stuck at home, you’re safe at home.” Good luck rolling that one back when you want people out working and shopping and spending money again!

I think many/most of us have lived so long without infectious disease being a threat to us that on a broad level we don’t really know how to mentally process it. So either it’s flu or it’s Black Death 2, there is no middle ground.

Also quite worried about the idea of children being kept inside until 2021 while their panicky parents tell them that they could face death any moment by stepping out of doors. I’m hoping that most people calibrate their fear levels by what they see around them and once the virus is more under control and life seems more normal again, a lot of the OTT scared will calm down. But not if they’re like the family I know refusing to leave the house I suppose.

Sorry everyone, I got a bit carried away with my Dementor-spotting in the wild, I think

I think the govt and media have relied on fear too much, presumably reckoning that a message of altruism wouldn't cut it with getting people to comply. But also, yes, it's clickbait too. Double-edged sword though, maybe? All the catastrophising and shrieking drives traffic (on here as elsewhere), but if I was (say) John Lewis, I wouldn't fancy advertising my online offering alongside a load of posts shrieking about how we're all going to DIE or SUFFER LONG-TERM HEALTH DAMAGE if we leave the house

@Outwardbound completely agree. I have lost my parents and husband before I have hit my mid 40s. Many of my friends have lost a parent at a fairly young age. We are all 'managing' this situation quite similarly, doing as we're told, but not going to extremes of anxiety. I don't know if this is just the way we are, or if we have developed a bit of resilience because we have come across 'death' in a variety of guises, at relatively young ages.

@fartingsparkles - my DH thinks this applies to us, too, and he's probably right. My mum died suddenly when I was 5 years old, and he lost his dad after a lengthy illness at 14. I nearly died 5 years ago and have felt even luckier and less invincible since then. You just learn that you can't control everything in life.

I read something on here I think quite near the start about how that we in the west have an expectation that we will live well into old age and that every problem has a solution. I remember a relative had a cancer diagnosis 15 years ago, the expectation was that it meant death and now (thankfully) in most cases people will recover and lead a good life, we vaccinate, insure everything from fridges to weddings and we kind of assume that we can buy a solution to most problems, I think on some level this is true and our experience of things that cannot be solved is limited. I think for some younger people this might explain the hysteria. My parents although not old have had their fair share of tough times and seem a lot more resilient to this than younger people

@OutwardBound2016 I completely agree

Under Dementor logic I should never set foot out of a shop lest I die suddenly in the street like my dad did.
I mean there was the no small matter of his cardiac history, but still, walking out of a shop clearly kills and must be avoided at all costs.

Life is unpredictable and finite, but to me, that's all the more reason to live it well and enjoy quality as there is more control over that than the quantity.

I honestly think the fear thing is going to be fine. People are like sheep. They might be talking the talk now about how their kids aren't going back to school till there's zero risk, but once they see everyone else's kids merrily going back to school and nothing happens it won't be long till the numbers in lessons are up again.
There's going to be a lot of trepidation for many people in the first days back at work but people will get back into the swing of things faster than they can imagine.

I think there aboslutely is something in experience of death and reactions to this. I am another one who had to face and accept own mortality at a young age, and I have noticed a difference in my reaction to that of some of my younger colleagues, who haven't yet lost close friends or family.

Just been speaking to one of the kids' heads and they're busy working on contingency planning for when schools return and how to support kids returning to normality. Was actually speaking to her as I'm at my wits end with DD1's behaviour and how angry and violent she's become with us (it's anxiety related) - and school are going to take her in as much as numbers permit to try to support us a bit.

I think so too. I had two major bereavements and a brush with death myself in my early 20s. My own death doesn’t frighten me and I’m all too aware life hangs by a thread. That definitely builds resilience, it explains the WW2 generation’s stoicism too.

They should have reported more positively including mild cases and stories of recovery not just doom and death- the BBC have been shocking for this

I agree, there's not about recoveries and mild cases, apart from the most famous one, Boris Johnson, and even that is very much about how he barely made it, but again, that's not what brings the clicks.

I think I'm actually getting more pessimistic now, I'm afraid the Demenshittery might be catching, I genuinely thought people would be happy to see that the lockdown is coming to an end, and instead there is endless whinging about everything.

I do genuinely think though that I’d be more scared if I lived in a city.

I dunno, I think it's actually less scary, because here in London you're exposed to more people going about their daily lives, walking, working, riding buses, and can see that nobody's keeling over. That could just be me though. I think I'd be more anxious in an isolated area.

I do agree that most people have become too detached from, and blind to, the fact that death and risk are both intrinsic parts of life.

It’s probably to some extent what you’re used to. I’ve taken solace in the changing season and the irrelevance to nature of covid. It has been a beautiful start to spring since lockdown. We are able to go for long walks which are calming (and enjoyable). It helps to keep me sane.

Although I'm in a small city, I find it a bit more anonymous and less of the curtain twitching perhaps than in a village or small town / suburbs..certainly no pressure to join in clapping for example. although in saying that police did get called to our communal garden (just to say it is still open and gave guidance)..mind you in the past I used to like the anonymity of that as well.

Possibly but I’m used to that tbh, it washes over me generally

One of the dementors in my FB is consoling herself with lockdown coming to an end by being excited about how Nicola Sturgeon has said we might need to self isolate repeatedly.

I've also had a bereavement when I was younger and had been wondering if that was a factor in being less alarmist about it all.

Good grief, the holiday threads. Poster hoping they might get away to the seaside in August.
Gets jumped on and told they are STUPID and will NEVER GO ON HOLIDAY AGAIN

Mention holidays to a dementor ; the answer is normally between 2021 to 2048 when you can go away again! Even then it's ' iffy'.

The experience of death thing is interesting. I come from a fairly dysfunctional family background & lost several close family members prematurely in very sad circumstances. I'm likewise pretty philosophical about it. Also having struggled with life-limiting anxiety over the years I've developed a deeply-ingrained habit of trying to step back & assess sources of anxiety objectively. I think thats helped, whereas maybe its harder for people who haven't had to develop those tools?

Yes I agree completely with the standing back thing, since I had a couple of life threatening surgeries a few years ago found I did this more...you just learn to cope, along with some CBT at that time too. We all have risks - who knows could stay in for this for years and then get a cancer or something else. It's life, we only have one and who knows how long we have...it's all unpredictable.

I live in London, and when I don’t go out for a few days I get really wrapped up in my own head and my own anxieties. Going outside and seeing people carrying on, not quite as usual but still carrying on, is such a huge relief. I have loads of commons and woods near me and you always see a dozen or two dozen people taking their kids for a nice afternoon out, people sitting or having a snack. They aren’t increasing any risk. Just so nice seeing people using common sense and assessing risk, rather than trembling behind a locked door.

Having said that I did have a bit of a meltdown in the big Tesco because people were pushing and shoving so much, but I didn’t get sick. I’d hate to have to take the tube but living here is a boon.