Posting here for traffic... Unconventional wedding

[Purplesndteal]

After bagging my partner to get the ball rolling... We've agreed to have a fairly unconventional wedding. Our dog will play a major role and she'll even have guests. I'm.not wearing a dress and instead I'll be wearing ankle length smart trousers, converse, a t-shirt and my all saints leather jacket. He'll probably be wearing something similar. All t shirts will have tongue in cheek phrases in the vain of "I just got married and all I got was this lousy t-shirt". The guest one will say something like "just came for the open bar" etc...

Would people get it? Not that it matters but I don't what to end up with an "off" atmosphere if people don't get our extremely relaxed and jokey theme. Tia!

I wouldn't do the tops personally but that's just me. I also had a wedding that was different. Mainly cause we are pretty different. We don't like fancy food so we had beans on toast (my fave!) And snacks! I wore black just cause I liked the dress (50 asos) and we basically just had it how we wanted it.

that sounds really nice @scruffy

OP you might think this is an easy relaxed option but....
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you'll have to choose the font of the t-shirts!

You'll overthink every single one and end up with Papyrus or something!

Meh, I get a bit sick of going to the same white weddings with fairy lights, bows on the back of chairs and log slices on the table.

I’d be happy to attend an alternative wedding that reflects the bride and groom.
If people don’t ‘get’ it - it’s not their wedding.

The way I see it, it could be seen as s "Hard Rock Cafe" style wedding sans memorabilia and with doggies.

Drinks would have the names of our favourite bands for example... If I could get an affordable mobile bar with a mixologist that'd be amazing!

I think for menus I'd probably go for BBQ/diner/bar food.

I'd rather have a DJ as finding a proper cover band could be impossible

See it doesn’t sound that “relaxed” to me as you have thought out all the details!

You do you, OP, but I have to say I hate the snide attitude on “traditional” weddings you’re displaying here, when actually as PP have pointed out you’re actually going more in depth and controlling than most “traditional” weddings!

“Look at how RELAXED and ALTERNATIVE we are”

It’s not a bad thing to want a nice wedding themed around your personality and that will give you good memories. Just stop pretending you’re “SO chilled” when your plans involve co-ordinating dog breeds(?!)

I think it sounds fab. I love weddings and especially love ones that I think reflect the couple a bit.

And if you want to do the t-shirts as favours, I wouldn't worry too much if the guests will appreciate it or not. I doubt the hosts of the wedding I've attended cared really if I'd appreciate their miniature pack of love hearts, Christmas bauble, mini vodka, mini jam, personalised key ring etc etc etc.

Incidentally I did appreciate the mini vodka as well as all the other mini vodkas that got left on tables.

I'd roll my eyes very hard but it's your wedding. T-shirt would go straight in the textiles bin though.

We had a lovely company who agreed to do a very small number of festival-type wristbands for our wedding. That was really the only 'alternative' part of the day, however (we met due to a band and went to many festivals together, along with the majority of our guests).

Sorry but it all sounds so toe curlingly try hard

When my daughter turned 2 (so nobody would remember anyways...) I gave her a rainbow themed birthday party. I baked a practice cake...

Had an amazing rainbow cake, rainbow jellies, rainbow cupcakes, piñata and party favours..

I like themed stuff and love to plan around it :)

Although the dogs' breed is only because we're a very tight group on FB and have become friends over the years. We've hosted one of the doggies while his owners where at a festival.

We had an alternative wedding. It was a party with great bands, buffet hot food & no wedding theme (lots of colour).
MIL said “this isn’t for us!” When she walked in & proceeded to the table closest the stage (so loud!).
Be prepared for a bit of that... Everyone else had a blast though! I know that my relations didn’t see it as a proper wedding, TBH.
We actually got married on a different day, which is our wedding day, so that didn’t bother me at all.

Sounds really try-hard and contrived to me. I think there’s a middle ground between doing what works for you and something your guests will actually enjoy. Nobody cares if you’re in a leather jacket (even if it is All Saints 🙄) instead of a wedding dress or if your ‘doggies’ are involved, they just want to see you celebrate your love for each other and have a good time.

It wouldn't be for me (neither are traditional weddings - your first 'registry office and the pub' one would be my ideal day!), but IRL the people who don't 'get' your style probably aren't your friends, so that's not such an issue. I think if you're already having doubts though then on the day you might just end up worrying about whether people are having a good time rather than enjoying yourself?

This is entirely your personal choice of course, but just thinking about it some more, what doesn't work for me is the mixture of planning so many details with the attempt at doing a detached ironic theme. I think you could do a really awesome concert/grunge-themed wedding by going all in with a ton of attention to detail, or you could do a fun anti-wedding thing by making it genuinely relaxed and not planning much at all besides food, a bar and a few jokey speeches. But to me what you're describing sits uneasily between the two, and it could easily come off as you wanting your wedding to be a big deal but not being confident enough to really commit to it, which I'd probably find a bit cringey. Kind of like when people put themselves down in an awkward way because they're worried that other people might think bad things about them and they want to get ahead of the criticism, you know?

I am turning inside out with cringe. But then, I am not one of your wedding guests.

Another vote for trying too hard.
Invites as concert tickets - seen three times in the last year and people get a wristband when they arrive. Hardly original.
T-shirts: just why? I wouldn’t wear it on the day or afterwards.
Sorry just do what you think is fun, don’t try so hard to be cool or have the mega alternative insta wedding.

Psychomath, the best wedding I’ve ever been to was church followed by pub, pork pies & sandwiches & karaoke.

If you are not religious, and you accept that some people you invite might not wish to come, then its your choice. I'm not so keen on the t-shirts though as they may not be worn very much and I don't like fast fashion.

Multiple dogs at a wedding sounds horrendous.

People absolutely do not want an ill fitting, cheap, t-shirt with your wedding date on.

This ^ I'm so glad you've ditched the t-shirts.

I don't know what to do with a t-shirt I was coerced into buying for a hen weekend - obviously I'm never going to wear it anywhere, ever again..... nobody is going to want it from a charity shop (which is where clothes I no longer want would normally go) ...... it just seems criminal to throw a garment worn for a few hours into landfill.....

Good decision to change your mind on that.

I'm a believer in 'do what makes you happy - it is your wedding' type philosophy. but the idea of dogs at a wedding is bizarre (unless an assistance dog). the idea that your dog would have dog guests is way outside the realms of normal-ness.

By all means go for 'relaxed' clothing and 'informal' reception, but the whole dog thing is turning it from relaxed to bizarre. If you want to do what you (both want to do, and don't care what people think - then why ask on the internet ?
If you do care what others think, then I suspect overwhelmingly people would think this is odd.

I would go to most weddings for friends, even if I didn't really "get" the theme. But not one with dogs everywhere. I wouldn't be able to relax, especially if also looking after my kids, one of whom is terrified of them.

Yes the dog thing is odd.

Do whatever makes you happy, but don't expect other people to love it. I can't get past the dogs tbh.