Honestly can't believe I'm even asking this

[nahnonever]

My partner has skid marks in every fucking pair of pants he wears. How do I wash them without spreading germs everywhere?

Have none of you women, hand on heart, NEVER had leak during a period? For goodness sake women get a grip neither are an offence enough to warrant calls for divorce, name calling, shaming or any other nasty behaviour. Clothes get dirty, luckily these days we have automatic washing machines, poo will be washed away with normal washing and not contaminate other clothes if in the same wash. My AIBU - have you overacted .... yes you have!!🤔😮

I wouldn’t wash them for him, but I wouldn’t leave him if there’s a medical issue for it. I also wouldn’t worry about washing his stuff with the children’s clothes - chances are at least some of them have skid marks or leaks too!

Pepper spray his arse. It’ll be spotless.

Or lay them in a row and ask him to come view his shitty pants. Then tell him to wash them.

Leaking during your period is completely different to failing to wipe your arse properly.

Squirt the gusset with Flash* spray bleach and wash!!

*Other products are available

Have none of you women, hand on heart, NEVER had leak during a period?

Not the same thing - in any way, shape or form. Shit and period blood are not comparable. I can’t believe you actually wrote this Even if it was the same thing - I wouldn’t let a pile of bloody pants accumulate and then expect my spouse to wash them...
And I disagree that this isn’t an offence to warrant shaming: a grown man not bothering to wipe his arse properly, expecting his wife to clean the dirty pants, and leaving those dirty pants to accumulate if his wife doesn’t clean them. That’s three counts worth of shaming in my book.

DH has been doing his own washing since he was 13. He has his own routine. Why would I need to do his washing?

That's fine. You don't NEED to. But surely it's not that bewildering that some people do share it?

A Hai-poo @iklboo

This whole thread has had me in tears!

I recommend Wizz Laundry Cleanser - I buy it in Savers for 99p a bottle for towels, undies etc. Much much cheaper than the Dettol version and I'm sure it's the same stuff! Put it in the fabric conditioner drawer for peace of mind.

It's not bewildering. It's just not how we do it in our house. Surely that's not bewildering either 🤷

Agree that soaking them in a bucket of Milton in the garden is probably the best way.

I had bowel cancer and had a lot of surgery, this left me with some issues afterwards. I dealt with them by
a) having one of these fitted to my lavatory: Toilet Bidet Shattaf Muslim Shower Douche Spray Chrome Hygienic Heavy Duty - High Quality - £10.49. Ebay etc sell them.
b) specific exercises for the rectum after surgery, similar to kegel exercises, they are not difficult and work quite quickly too. These can be googled but your DH should speak to his GP about this to check exactly why it is happening.

I hope this helps, it is incredibly embarrassing for both of you really but do have a conversation about it and good luck.

It sounds as if he may have piles.

DS frequently soils his pants, I tend to throw them in a bucket of (cheap own brand) dettol and water then when I do a wash, rinse them beforehand and put them in with the rest of the wash.

😂😂😂

Well, when I wash nappies which are much dirtier i do a rinse cycle (can be a cold rinse or a short hot wash) and then a long cottons wash on 60. Gets them sparkling.

Leaking during your period is completely different to failing to wipe your arse properly

This.

Have none of you women, hand on heart, NEVER had leak during a period?

You are beyond weird to even compare the two! You are clearly happy to put up with literal crap

Shit is very different to period blood.

@growinganotherhead sorry to hear that but thank you so much for the great advice.

He was under the hospital until 14 when they started to work on their own a bit better. So he does have really bad issues with pooing that aren't really his fault

So he has had bowel problems all his life, but instead of dealing with it , he just lets the poo smear his clothes ? And thinks that you will fix it ? Wtf ? He needs a lesson in personal hygiene .

Fold them up and put them back into his draw. Wear gloves obviously.

My exoh had the same issue. After doing that he no longer had that issue. Funny that.

Although it seems unlikely, it is just possible that he has a form of encopresis www.health.harvard.edu/a_to_z/encopresis-fecal-soiling-a-to-z

It's usually children who have it, and they usually grow out of it, but if your DH had bowel problems for so long then it's possible this is an outcome, as it's associated with chronic constipation. If it IS this, then he can't help it as such - but he can still take responsibility for his own underwear.

Why should I do another adults washing???

Why on earth not? Surely it makes sense if they are living in the same house? What is the point of only washing your own clothes - seems like a waste of both water and of time.

This is nasty. Why the hell were people buying stacks of bog roll when they can’t even wipe their arses properly? 🤮🤮

Tell him to wash his bum with a jug of water after a poo. And wipe properly until there’s no marks on the tissue. Or tell his mum and she can teach him the basics..again.

I couldn’t and wouldn’t live with someone like this. Hygiene is so important in a relationship. I’m so glad my dh is squeaky clean all over.

How is it a waste of time or water?
When my wash basket is full I wash my clothes. DH does the same.
There are no half loads so no wasting water.
It's really not that hard to understand. It has never ever occurred to either of us that I should be doing his washing. Just like I wouldn't buy his clothes, sort his car insurance out or buy his family members birthday cards/presents.
For us, some thing's are a personal responsibility.