For those who are 'well off', how did you get there?

[Ivyy988]

By well off, I mean comfortable enough to not have to worry about money, can buy luxuries, go on holiday etc.

I'm a single parent, study at a good uni (will have my degree next year), but come from a fairly poor family and I really want to never have to worry about money.

I'm not skiled in anything particular, but have a lot of motivation, am very good at saving (although there isn't a lot to save on a student loan) and mainly buy second hand etc.

What is the best way to get there? Am i best of looking for a graduate jon and working my way up? continuing in education? What things helped you get there? (other than inhereted money or where you had a large amount to begin with).

Szearning capacity? Autocorrect gone Polish
Earning capacity

We got a 25 year mortgage at 25 years old so finished paying it at off at 50. Had only one child in late 30's. Have been lucky to be in a steady job that's pays reasonable money but we are not high earning by any stretch.

This is as a couple so I appreciate your circumstances are different but I would say if you can pay off your mortgage as soon as possible it will be such a help in terms of having extra money.

Mortgage paid 18 months ago and yes we still need an income for food and bills but the relief to not have the burden of a mortgage is huge especially in the current economic climate.

Looking back I can't believe how I frittered money away on clothes and magazines and rubbish. I'm not saying don't buy stuff but the amount of things I bought but Have never worn... but maybe that's another story.
Enjoy yourself but I think the key is paying off the mortgage as then there is the sense of security which for me is important.

I batch cook partly to save money but as much to have good quality, tasty food full of veggies that I know we will eat when we get in tired, late in the evening. So it comes from my frugal days but is probably not so frugal these days as there are cheaper options in stores but it’s about quality too.

The same with clothes. There are clothes from the likes of Primark which can be thrown away after a few wears. Or better quality ones that last longer - I’ve sewn repairs into jumpers from M&S to make them last another season. And I previously mentioned Sre-heeling and re-soling shoes - I tend to buy Italian shoes but they tend to last a good 10 years plus as a result.

My dad died unexpectedly and I was left a six figure inheritance.
I've been dirt poor, Dh and I were badly hit in the last recession and I didn't think I'd ever own my home for some time having fallen off the property ladder then. Dad had just inherited from his mother, largely due to property she inherited. I'm very lucky, but it was hard getting my head around benefiting from death.

The income part seems easier to me. Work hard at school, work hard at university, keep on working your socks off. Don't make risky choices. Keep plodding. Many people can be fairly well off in terms of monthly salary like this.

For anyone under 50, the wealth part is more difficult. Personally (no bank or mum and dad), I was able to become moderately well off only because of a couple of risky property buys, one of which I rented out for three years before selling it while living in a shithole. Also a lot of luck with timing and the market, which meant I was able to make about 500k by my early thirties. Since then have made nothing significant from property. A little bit from investing in a start-up, but not much and (a friend's company) not something I'd do again.

@doadeer. Yes, I agree. Even with the most family-friendly employer, it's difficult to ace your job with small children. On the whole, I would say that it's much easier to become well-off in your own right if you leave having children until your mid/ late 30s. Of course then you gamble with fertility. For most of my friends (who mostly have 1 or 2 children, maybe 3, but not large families) that worked out fine in the end. But it doesn't always and many of us were anxious about fertility in a numb / inarticulate way from late 20s onwards.

We are quite well off.

We don’t struggle for anything, but it’s all down to my DP and his job. I’ve wanted to train as a nurse for a long time but I fell pregnant just as the bursary was brought in in 2014 and the debt to childcare ratio wasn’t worth it.

Right now I stay at home with the kids as DP works all hours under the sun but I’m hoping to train as soon as I can (I worked very hard, lots of volunteering etc.) to get to the interview! But right now we are happy and settled and that’s all I can ask for.

A lot of people said when we met we would never get anywhere, but here we are happier than ever and are now “well off” with 3 kids. It hasn’t been easy but here we are!!

Privileged upbringing; good education; no kids until well into our 30s; DH in IT career which took us to Silicon Valley and the big name companies. We're not in California anymore (thank goodness!) but were able to buy a house in an excellent area and set ourselves up.

Find a sector/career that generally pays well.

Train and specialise.

Work hard (long hours, stressful environment).

Lots of self development/softer skills.

Dh is the main earner since we’ve had kids. He has been able to focus on his career while Looked after the kids - my choice - childcare would hug saver exceeded my salary. We have always felt that we needed balance our life now against our future life and we value both - it’s all our time here that matters. We have a big mortgage and a big income and savings for a rainy day. but we are not scrimping for a better future life that might never happen - we are enjoying now and saving for the future. We’ve insured to cover any debt,

Middle class background with financial support when young, and inheritance later. An excellent degree and then a career in power systems engineering, which is a shortage profession so is stable and well paid.

I feel it's only fair to acknowledge how much was privilege - there are too many barriers to social mobility in our country.

Carefully research the average and maximum earnings in careers you are considering. Look for fields that will grow or have reliable demand. As you move through your career, look one step ahead: read lots of job adverts, see what sounds interesting and work out what skills are in demand. Then gain those skills, if possible by asking for training from your employer. Going self employed can be lucrative, once you have some skills and knowledge - employers take a big cut.

Also make sure you consider work-life balance. In the North you can get a much better quality of life than in London for the same salary.

@bulliedintonamechange The same as most people on this thread, it would seem.

In fairness, I earn a good wage, DH earns an excellent wage, but I wouldn't feel entirely comfortable airily saying "We work very hard and aren't too flash".

A lot of it is right place, right time and I don't think being married to a high earner is the same as being one yourself.

The comments about marrying well reminded me of another factor that has contributed massively to our financial security. I definitely married very well though not in income terms - I have always been the significantly higher earner.
However, he is incredibly talented in many ways and we very rarely pay anyone to do anything for us . There are things that you are not legally allowed to do these days which means he can't do as much as he used to (he rewired our first house for instance but that wouldn't be allowed now) but he does the vast majority of household repairs and renovations like new kitchens and bathrooms as well as the simpler stuff like painting and decorating. He can generally repair domestic appliances if they break down. When our children were small he designed and made some amazing things for them such as big outdoor play houses, a dolls house that was a scale model of our house and an electric car. He also does all the family's car maintenance himself (except for his company car) which alone probably saves us thousands of pounds a year. I can't even begin to imagine what it would have cost to pay professionals to do the jobs he has done in the 30 years since we met. We have had the occasional mishap but 99% of things go well.(The kids and I do help by the way - I'm not a slave driver!)
I think financial stability is at least as much about what you spend as what you earn. I may earn more, but DH is a more than equal partner in the financial sense because of his money saving skills. I appreciate that not everyone has the skills or the tools to do some of the kind of jobs my DH will tackle, but there are lots of things that most people could manage that many get someone else in for. I would advise any young person starting out in life to learn some basic DIY skills and the routine things you should do to maintain your car etc. Looking after your property isnt very glamorous but can save you a lot of money and contribute to your financial security in the long term.

We are well off, I think (large house, 2 cars, kids in private schools, we both earn six figure salaries). My thoughts:

Don’t assume it has to be your career that takes the hit when you have kids, go back to work, resist the part time mummy track, most men seem to work ft and have kids. Childcare will be expensive for a while.

Negotiate well whenever you’re offered a job. Haggle on holiday, benefits and salary. Always consider and plan your next career move. Sometimes you’ll need to move company but it’s the easiest way of increasing your salary by thousands.

As PP have said, work smart. Be visible and knowledgeable and prove your value.

Prioritise stuff that makes you happy. Good luck.

Marrying well is crucial. Not marrying someone rich and gold digging but marrying someone like you so you can build a life together and support each other.

I turned down a date with the only son from England oldest wealthiest families to go on first date with dh whose parents were blue collar workers so I am hopeless gold digger 😁. Dh thought I was mad but stand by choice!

Marrying well is crucial

It’s not 1950....

Im well off due to the business I started as a single parent.

If you mean marry well in the sense that someone is going to support you then yes. Though I'm not actually married been with partner for nearly 10 years. We have supported each others entire careers from being 20. I think I'm naturally more ambitious than him, he has always supported me striving for new roles

I agree who you marry is important, if you ARE going to marry. Having someone to support you in your goals can be game changing and a massive positive. Marrying a gambling addict isn't going to help.
It's not about marrying someone wealthy its about marrying someone with similar goals who is kind and supportive and on your side. Being a team.

I know a couple in their mid 50s, she has worked a highly stressful social care job for her whole.life, she has a lot of responsibility and it's exhausting. She wants to open her own business and leave social care but her DH is highly risk averse and constantly putting down her ideas. She will never feel confident enough to do it without his support - what a shame.

My sister asked my future husband on meeting him for the first time "Are you a useful toy?" There's no point in marrying someone who isn't useful! She was quite satisfied by his reponse!

Sounds like she'd be better off single Doadeer !

I came from a poor background (though was lucky enough to win various scholarships so my education was better than it might have been).

Like you, I was determined to be financially secure. So I did only 'straight' A levels (with a Further Maths bent), studied economics at a top university and went into the City. Not the most imaginative choice, I know! But financial independence was worth it. And the roles are interesting. Do charity work on the side + donate to try to give back - I realise how tremendously fortunate I am.

Then I met someone also in FS, also driven and ambitious. We married. No children (by choice). Am 34 if that helps.

We are now very, very, very comfortable. Sometimes I feel I have to pinch myself at our situation. I will inherit nothing so saving like mad, also for my retirement.

Should point out that we are both on six figures. He understands how much my security and career mean to me and has always been very supportive.

I don't recommend this perse, but going against the mumsnet grain and to give a different slant, having kids the age I did (22 and 25) was the best thing I did for my career. I got uni and graduate traineeship done prior, worked paraprofessionally part time while studying a masters when I had toddlers (childcare largely funded), and first professional role full time when they were 5 and 2. No gaps in my career, I have all the flexible stuff I need in my job now with kids in school, and they were both in school by the time I hit the senior levels. Have worked full time in a professional roll since 27 so pension contributions are good. No need to hit pause or go part time while in the higher earning part of my career. So it's honestly worked well for me, we have a great family life, lots of time for each other, I was young enough to take it all in my stride and just didn't stress about it too much.

Just thought you'd like to hear that in your situation as I know lots here will say they delayed having kids.m which you can't do

Tbf I changed careers after DC1 as wanted more flexibility & not ft so restarting doesn't have to hold you back although my earnings & potential earnings are much lower (max ft position would be 80k).