For those who are 'well off', how did you get there?

[Ivyy988]

By well off, I mean comfortable enough to not have to worry about money, can buy luxuries, go on holiday etc.

I'm a single parent, study at a good uni (will have my degree next year), but come from a fairly poor family and I really want to never have to worry about money.

I'm not skiled in anything particular, but have a lot of motivation, am very good at saving (although there isn't a lot to save on a student loan) and mainly buy second hand etc.

What is the best way to get there? Am i best of looking for a graduate jon and working my way up? continuing in education? What things helped you get there? (other than inhereted money or where you had a large amount to begin with).

Set target, and work hard, live poor, save, until you reach it. Set new target.. Keep learning new skills all your life.

Combination of being in the right place at the right time, hard work and having a dad who understood money and passed his knowledge on.
I choose a profession (Law) and a sector (Financial Services) that i like and pay well.
We live within our means by quite a bit, I am a great fan of MSE. I bought property as soon as I could in London and hammered the mortgage, then used the proceeds to invest in other properties.
I am a high earner and we have a range of income streams.

Beyond a certain point where you are struggling financially, how well off you feel is down to mindset. We could live a more extravagant lifestyle but I would be thinking about bills all the time. Decide what matters to you eg we have chosen to pay school fees but I have a second hand phone because I just don’t care that much about it. I don’t have a designer handbag but I would spend money on tickets to sporting events for the family. The most valuable things money buys you are intangible like peace of mind and choice.

Im 36 now.
I met my dh when I was 16.
when I left school I got a full time job rather than collage uni etc . My dh was an apprentice joiner £70 pw. When I was 18 we bought a 1 bedroom listed building flat for £49,000 sold it for £74,000 2 years later giving us the deposit for a 2 bedroom house in a very good area.

We got married when I was 20 (child bride) the wedding was in Dominican Republic cost about £5000. Dh was qualified at this stage and he was very motivated to be the best joiner that he could be while being a loyal trustworthy straight down the line employee. We had our first child when I was 23 then we moved into a 3 bedroom house and had 2 more children. I worked full time up until my children where born then I went down to 24 hours pw,my dh always said he wanted to work his way up and didn’t want to just plod on in life. He's now on good money he’s the most hard working person I know and he never burns bridges with anyone. He’s 39 now and he’s Achieved his goals.
Married
3 children
Good job
4 bed detached house
2 very nice cars
Holidays
We didn’t have high paid jobs but the moral of our story is we started out from a very young age and we had a vision and didn’t take our eyes of that goal.

If we had to do it now I don’t think it would Be as easy, when we got the flat we where given 100% mortgage but out of choice we put in £1000.

So here we are comfortable but not rich

Yes, I think I need to get back to the goals and start small with the aim for growth rather than think big and wonder how to get there.

I think teaching was so negative it's left me trying to shake off the can't do attitude - which is not me. I'm very 'can do' I just have been working with such negative people that see obstacles everywhere and I think enjoy placing obstacles in the way of getting anything done.

Growing up my parents were not well off but always managed their money well. I was taught to plan and save up for the things I wanted. Always pay a pension and not to waste money. I graduated with very little debt as I worked in all uni holidays. I worked as a teacher being Head of Subject and examiner and I also did some tutoring before retiring early as also a foster carer. I married an accountant who also worked hard and got promotions so now Director of Finance. We bought second home in France. We invested in buy2let and when my parents died and I inherited along with my sisters and invested my share in 2 more buy2lets. Income from buy2let's was reinvested in buying 3 more buy2lets. We will both have good pensions and income from houses. We have 6 week holidays in our French house and often a cruise or additional holiday in Italy or Austria each year as well as several weekend city breaks and we have been able to be generous with our children and niece and nephew whilst they were at uni. We also help with the nursery cost for our dgc. In the early years when our children were young things were tighter but we benefitted from cheap mortgage rates for many years so we overpaid on mortgage and now only have less than 4 years to go and pay very small monthly mortgage. Also 3 of 6 buy2lets are repayment mortgages with 12 years on one and 10 on other 2. We still don't use credit cards much and I continue to pump money into my pension as a way to avoid paying higher rate tax.

It's quite sad how many people have just said hard work at uni and work. But refreshing to see the posts from people acknowledging luck and privilege is more important than that, be that financial privilege or from having parents who have supported emotionally or instilled that drive to succeed. It is quite offensive to simply say worked hard since there are so many hard working people who earn a pittance in this country and globally.

Sounds like you are doing great, OP. I think a graduate job and working really hard could work, it is difficult with a wee one, but you sound like you have a great attitude

I would really recommend sticking at it, not getting disheartened early on in your career. I went into a very competitive industry when I left uni and I saw many peers streak past me in earnings and status but I have kept beavering away and now, at a time when other people are looking to take their foot off the pedal, my experience has paid off, am not a super high earner but def comfortable.

I also see with couples that sometimes one (just in my experience - a very small sample so in no way scientific but it’s the man!) just has real issues holding down a job, sometimes just recession hit industry etc but other times a bit entitled so they are first out of the door, but DP and I have always earned about the same, so neither stellar but both pretty comfy equals a nice, equitable home life too (one kid might make all this easier)

Good luck!

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I did an AMA last year because I'm a self made millionaire without a university degree.

^

If you're the one who had the online training company then yes I remember you and I believe you! You sounded so driven I'm not surprised you're successful.

Luck and charm. I have never believed I will land anywhere other than on my feet and in a better situation than I was in before.

Moved offshore 13 years ago and met DH here. We both have similar outlooks on money. Both savers, not massive spenders but had a lot of fun before kids.

If I want something I go after it with ferocity and Im usually pretty successful any anything I put my mind to. Again charm, thinking on my feet and applied related knowledge. I learn as I go and can read a room, situation, meeting, or event with accuracy and always use it to my advantage.

I know I'm lucky, I know I've used my smarts to get ahead. I don't have a degree and am working in a law firm managing a large team of people.

I took every opportunity that came my way, was never scared to travel or step out of my comfort zone and not afraid to take career risks.

Professional qualifications in a competitive course and lots of further training got me a good income. The most important thing was to not forget how to be good with money. Many of my colleagues are on great incomes, but are still living month to month. I have enough to spend on things I really want, but I still buy mist of my furniture second hand.

In many cultures, young parents have their children taken care of by elders while they strive for careers. I had a housemate who was a single mum medical student pulling crazy hours as a house surgeon .Mostly the child she had as a teen was with her grandparents.
It wasn't ideal but there was absolutely no way she could complete her course with a child underfoot.

London origionally but I'm studing in another city. I'll be moving to wherever the highest paying job is

You may want to go back to London if thats where you're from, but look at your overall cost of living - you could be better off on Midlands job salary - Midlands house cost and childcare costs than on the equivalent in London. Also easier access to school places etc. And a less rat-race mentality in job hour expectations.

Get a job that will always be in demand and work hard, and teach your kids to do the same. My parents came from pretty poor families but worked hard to get good jobs. I became a nurse and my brother is an engineer. I know whatever happens there will always be work for a nurse. Especially true just now.

"It is quite offensive to simply say worked hard since there are so many hard working people who earn a pittance in this country and globally."

Very well said user!

Don’t become a teacher or live in the South East is what I’ve learnt 😂

I agree with @curiouslypacific
Came from a poor rural background, inherited nothing and left school at 16, drifting into different jobs and organisations. Had I have gone to university I would probably have had a mundane and safe job. Instead I met and worked with all types of people which has put me in good stead. Luck is part of it too. Sometimes people give you a genuine break and help-up the ladder. Three key things I would recommend:
Embrace change - life is a journey and the road, scenery and weather will constantly change.
Listen more than you speak - there are some really strong and sublime messages being sent to you (you really can tell when someone is lying or not).
Be childlike in how you experience the world - remain curious, imaginative and be generous. These are seeds you are sowing.

People who are successful have almost always worked hard (and don’t hold back at telling you that) but don’t fall into the trap of thinking work hard= success because lots of people who aren’t successful also work hard!

In my experience you need a professional qualification in something if you want to be employed at a good comfortable salary with career progression or you need to develop a successful business.

Also you need to be canny in house buying- buy as soon as you can, add value and move up. Repeat.

Also don’t have too many maternity leaves and never consider going part time after kids.

If your partner has fewer assets/ earning potential than you don’t marry. If he does get married and don’t divorce (expensive).

Take care of your health.

Look for companies or careers with clear progression and training frameworks - that really helps.

I think it's more about the industry and role you go into.

I randomly got into tech after doing an MA (in a humanities subject) because I was so broke and just needed a job. I had no idea it was such a lucrative industry.

Yes I did work hard in the sense I did long hours, self taught how to do lots of things but I was also lucky it's just a high paying industry. A marketing manager with 5 years experience will easily be on £65k if they are good. I built up a good reputation but I would say I just naturally found this job suited my skill set. I took a risk and went freelance and I earned well over £100k in my late 20s.

It's so important the type of company you choose - do they have people who have grown within the company, are there promotion opportunities?

I agree it's not helpful saying work hard as you can work hard on a min wage job and there's no hope of being rich.

If I look at the people who I know who have been very successful, I think there is something in the attitude, the type of people who strive to do better and better, but the main thing is they are smart about their decisions. I'm sorry that's not very helpful good luck with whatever you do

You simply need to find something you're good at, and work hard at it.
A lot of people I know who are well off now, had a very "normal" upbringing but maybe that made them more determined.
DH left school at 15, now at 33 he owns his own business and does very well from it. Works hard, but comes home every day at 5pm to feed and bath the baby etc, so has the flexibility to do that. He was working in PC world at the age of 22 but decided he wanted more than that, so looked at his skill set and worked out how best he could make money based on that. Worked for someone else for many years until he realised that actually, he can do it on his own. Took a risk and it paid off, but that's not to say it was easy.

You simply need to find something you're good at, and work hard at it.

Hmm. Not sure it's quite as simple as that. I'm very wary about saying our situation now is simply down to hard work. Lots of people work extremely hard, at something they're good at.

I am ‘OK’, certainly not rich or wealthy, but had mortgage paid off by 55, can afford a holiday abroad every year, savings, no debts, can make reasonable impulse purchases (shoes or bag for example) just because I like them etc. Have been able to support D.C. in hobbies, to go on school trips abroad etc without it being a headache. Never have to scrimp to pay bills or budget for groceries.

I have never worked in a highly paid job as I work in the not for profit / charity sector in an area that I love, that has low salaries.

No inheritances.

I did this by:
Never taking on debt, except a mortgage. Never used CC except when we had a ‘smart’ mortgage and our bank accounts offset the interest so we used an interest free CC for 6 months to do ALL our spending. But we transferred the money for every purchase into a savings account (which paid interest) so that the money was there to pay the CC at the end of 6 months.

Not taking a career break. DH and I worked one day at home a week each (caught up flexi-time) and had childcare 3 days a week. My career never took a hit in terms of professional development / promotion.

Never spent money on cars for their looks or prestige. Always second hand but as new as possible and run them until they start costing loads. Cars are a money pit, don’t pay more than is needed to get the job done.

Have good quality shoes and clothes, develop a style that works and don’t spend money just for a brand. Be rational about cost v value.

As soon as you can put money into a pension. A little to begin with goes a long way. I wish I had done this earlier. The real difference, IMO, between the OK and the struggling, is who can have the choice to retire early rather than slogging on to 68 or whatever.

Find a field of work you enjoy and that has good progression possibilities. Take every training course on offer, keep well networked.

Actually Networking is something that middle class people do well.., talk to people, ask advice, read around your business, read trade papers, read the papers , keep you knowledge of current affairs up to date etc.

Good luck OP!

I have a v strong work ethic and enjoy working hard. DH is the same. I grew up with no money and that is a very strong motivator! No kids (by choice) means both being able to be fully committed to our careers, plus all the extra cash being child free brings.

It’s more accurate to say, find something you’re good at that pays well and work hard at it in the right way (the smart way).