For those who are 'well off', how did you get there?

[Ivyy988]

By well off, I mean comfortable enough to not have to worry about money, can buy luxuries, go on holiday etc.

I'm a single parent, study at a good uni (will have my degree next year), but come from a fairly poor family and I really want to never have to worry about money.

I'm not skiled in anything particular, but have a lot of motivation, am very good at saving (although there isn't a lot to save on a student loan) and mainly buy second hand etc.

What is the best way to get there? Am i best of looking for a graduate jon and working my way up? continuing in education? What things helped you get there? (other than inhereted money or where you had a large amount to begin with).

Also, DH and I shared a car for over 7 years, until after DD was born. And we dropped back to 1 again for a few years later on, when circumstances allowed for another 4 year stint (we had to get 2 again when DFIL was dying, as DH was needed there constantly 250 miles away, while DD and I needed to keep going to work and school here). But we don't change them all that often, just look after them well and are careful what we buy to suit our needs.

Started saving as a teenager. Prioritised paying off mortgage.

Never really having much fun?! (I’m 45 Andrew have never bought a new coat FFS!)

No rich, but feel well off and fortunate.

Key thing was less "stuff" and more saving.

Also we have been very lucky with family help for childcare or small loans at critical times. Also cheaper property many years ago.

Some other luck breaks along the way was the banks really pushing credit at one time.... and the benefit of being able to borrow £250k at 2% and being able to put it in other bank accounts paying 3.5%+.
Another lucky break was my employers sharesave .... which had been ok then under preformed for years. With a turn on the market, one edition was bought when shares were well under £1 but with £5+ when the scheme matured.
Living a comfortable life by not comparing it to others feels good. We enjoy holidays and the things we buy ... but have never had a new car, ate out regularly or bought the luxuary items / technology.

As someone said earlier, your skills and wealth build slowly... so don't expect mega wages in a short time. It is not like that for majority of people.

One lesson i learnt was always try to be the the best version of yourself, have confidence (easier said than done) and look after your job ... being pleasent, taking extra oppertunities to develop whatever you are doing (even with no extra pay in the short term) and don't be afraid to put extra time into doing your job well or improving.

Finally, focus ... dont get easily distracted with social media, tv etc, focus on your wealth by reviewing at least every year that you have best deals, savings are growing and your short term/medium term plan.. and focus on being the best version of yourself in your career.

For the record, i work in IT but never really enjoyed it or progressed until i accidentally fell into project management. DP works NHS. Both incomes together is about £85k, but we live in cheaper part of UK.

@olate is right

Hard work and frugality. Neither DH or I went to university. Neither of our families were well off. We've never had any financial help, any inheritances or any loans.

DH left school at 15 and is very probably dyslexic. He went straight into full time work in a manual, dirty, low paid job. He worked hard and saved hard right from the start and bought out his boss on retirement 25 years later. I also saved hard from 18 and worked a few different admin roles before joining DH. DH is practical and can DIY well which is extremely helpful to saving money.

We both worked extremely hard for 10 years in the business; 6 and 7 day weeks, few holidays, many business hurdles (also had 2 DC), and finally sold up last year.

Now we didn't make mega bucks and don't spend money unnecessarily, but we are both able to work low stress, part time (non physical!) jobs to cover our bills now and actually see the DC.
We feel pretty fortunate, but it took literally blood, sweat, tears and near breakdowns to get here. It was bloody hard work, not luck.

@wombatchocolate is right. I think people underestimate how different things are for anyone born late 80s onwards. In terms of wages, job security, housing, pensions.

I don't have any couples in my friendship group earning less that 80k, we all do self catering holidays, don't drive new cars. My family income is low 6 figures & my iphone is about 5 models old, most of my furniture is 2nd hand or scrounged off family, I don't drink coffee & shop in Aldi etc.

Very few young people who earn a moderate salary these days will have a significant cushion when they are older. Even someone earning 100k will have to pretty frugal without family help.

@ploopsie glad somebody has mentioned that climbing the ladder now is different compared to years ago.

What is your business@longwalk?

I mean @longpause!

@Rainsun1 not sure the ladder even exists any more!

If it wasn't for family help both in terms of a deposit/minimal rent we wouldn't have got on the ladder, regardless of how much avocado on toast we went without.

@BiddyPop

Thanks Biddy. You describe pretty much how I was raised but one question I have is that I am not sure of the value in terms of many of those things now that food and clothes are cheaper. In the past, home cooking made sense as did Sunday best only clothes, etc. Now I wonder is it worth the trade off with time? I baked a cake yesterday and I calculated that I could have bought it for the same amount.

Much of life has become cheaper esp compared to the past and cost of white goods, etc. Are we really saving that much with these strategies now that they are worth the sustained focus and commitment?

There is also the value of self sufficiency, and being in control to the last penny and that is valuable and needs to be accounted for.

Perhaps the real thing is that shrewdness brings your attention to waste and you don’t fall in to bad habits.

I don’t know. Sometimes I think by focusing so much on the pennies, I ‘ve lost the pound!

Honestly? We had help with our house. Made a huge difference. But even with that we couldn't have done it without DH having a PhD and therefore being one of the few people in the world who can do what he does. When I say few I mean in a relative sense - worldwide.
It's why I'm encouraging my children to qualify and specialise if they have a passion.
We've also saved. We could have afforded private school for instance but chose instead to stash the cash rather than living on a financial edge. We also disagree with it so that helped!
We also had a lucrative overseas posting which enabled us to lived effectively rent free for theee years while renting out our semi in London. Very helpful.
DH also spent a lot of time away from us when he was UK based, travelling for work. He could have said no, but he would t have ended up in such a lucrative position without saying yes al the time.
So - a combination of definite luck, but also working hard and having a plan and qualifications.

Divorced well. I don’t feel ‘proud’ of it but he cheated and refused to work on the marriage (ie, leave OW). The marital home is now rented by me to a charity to rehome families fleeing abuse so I’ve tried not to pull the ladder up under me.

Blimey Pogmella that's amazing. What a story. Well done you x

I think the point about where you live is also really important @ploopsie

Our household income isn't much above yours, but we're in Scotland and the cost of living is much cheaper. We don't have any external help with childcare etc but still run a healthy cash surplus each month and live in a much larger-than-newbuild detached house. We also have sensible pension provisions etc being made.

We're going to feel really well off when our nursery costs decrease as DC get bigger.

But equally our ambitions are fairly modest; like many on here we've never had a brand new car, we don't have gym memberships etc. We cook from scratch and don't eat out much. We do spend well over £250pcm on extracurricular activities for the kids, that's our biggest 'luxury' spend and could be cut back if we needed to free up cash.

The net result is that we feel well off because our expectations are lower than our income. We'd probably feel broke if we wanted all the latest tech etc etc.

I think the issue with the OPs question is that so much depends on what you want out of live and what you feel is an acceptable standard of living.

I also take issue with the 'work hat's advice- some of the hardest working women I know are in sectors like childcare, and they'll never earn as much as their work is worth. It's a dangerous myth- I think people from working class backgrounds often believe it.

Luck is in a simailar category- sucessful people make their own luck; they work out what they need to get somewhere, and they do it. I failed at a high level competency based interview and I am now busting a gut, in a logical way, to make sure I get the experience I need to be able to pass it. I've got myself a mentor, and have made a huge effort to out myself out there and increase my experience in a targeted way. When I go back and succeed in future, I'm sure there'll be people looking on and saying I'm lucky that I got the chances that led to success. But the reality is I've made them happen- I've created my own luck.

There's a huge advantage in growing up in a family with successful parents in terms of understanding things like luck and hard work vs the importance of making carefully considered choices.

My DH's parents are much more working class in their outlooks and careers than mine, and they couldn't support him in the same way in terms of university choices, interview prep, CV advice etc etc. It's a massive problem in terms of levelling up the field as people from professional families automatically have access to knowledge which helps them get onto the ladder much more firmly. It's not fair and shouldn't work that way, but it does.

canyousewcushions you’re absolutely right. I didn’t have that advantage and it’s been a handicap.

Married well

Most of our money is because of my husband he left school at 15 to work on trawlers as a fisherman, then from there offshore then moved to international work offshore in a high risk job that pays 6 figures and he has saved very well. So we are pretty secure. He works very hard though , 28 days at a time, 16 hours a day in 40 degrees heat, not many can hack it. That's why wages are high.

canyousewcushions that is one of the reasons why my kids go to private school now. Because of the access to that knowledge and expectation rather than growing up to be grateful for a job (as my Dad used to say to me, “at least you’re not working outdoors in all weathers”).

@Canyousewcushions agree about where you live, personally I don't really see the point of earning 6k but spending 4.5k on living when you could earn 4k & spend 2k on living.

Because we were helped on the ladder early the equity gains we've had mean we have an expensive home with a small mortgage. That also means that I can work p/t & tto & family also provide 1 day childcare a week so we don't have to pay 2k a month like some of our friends do. My family also have a holiday home abroad as do my inlaws so if we holiday there its cheaper. The dc already have saving account set up by parents & gps to help them in the future.

I suspect many on this thread were born in the 70s and benefitted from lower house prices in the 90s and early 2000s and were able to buy alone, or buy bigger with a partner young, than people these days are able to.

Yes and no - a lot is still very much dependent on where you live. We bought our first house (a tiny back to back terrace) in 2004 for £40k Based on the prices just prior to the lockdown it's worth about £60-70k now.

I’ve just turned 30 @WombatChocolate so it is possible.

I’ve got friends who are 25 from very deprived backgrounds (care leavers etc) who are home owners earning 60k, it is possible but takes a certain combination of factors and sacrifices.

I’m a single parent and well off. But I prioritised earning from early on. Didn’t take loads of time off for children and spent most of my spare income on childcare for years. That pays off in the end because you are still in a career and growing your earnings. Not staying in work because ‘it’s not worth it after childcare’ is such a false economy.

Oh and never ever be reliant on anyone else for your financial well-being. Yes if you are doing well in a couple it’s better than doing well as a single person. But you must have your own szearning capacity, come what may.

These lessons were drummed into me as a child and I will make sure my children have the same lessons. Fortunately they show absolutely no aptitude for art or acting or anything along those lines . I would counsel almost anyone against pursuing a passion job that for most people will never pay enough to provide a living.