Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

i'm so torn about leaving the house...i have severe asthma and so it makes me hesitate but equally, its no life not being able to go out and do normal things. I dont know what the answer is

@OneNightTimeMenaceStrikes I have severe asthma too. I have almost certainly had covid which was horrible and lasted 8 weeks, leaving me weak. Bizarrely though, it didn’t massively affect my lungs (just everything else). The GP speculates that the vast amount of medication I am on protected my lungs. Who knows though.

theres a possibility i might have had it as well egghead if it was it, it gave me the worst chest infection ive ever had and i was sick for weeks. don't know for sure though unless i get an antibody test

@MrsJBaptiste

Has anyone started to think sod it, and been going out?

I've done a couple of quiet runs early in the morning and been out in the car while DH goes into the shops. I can see me doing a few more things I shouldn't be doing (sitting in friend's gardens, etc.) if this continues for months ...

Yes, a little bit. I'm certainly not going into shops, but I have been going out for walks along quiet paths and at times of the day where I know I'll barely see anyone. I found that the longer I stayed inside without going out the more anxious I got about it. My mental health is much, much better since I started going out for a walk.

However I am shielding because of my own health (asthma) rather than a family member. I might be more cautious if it were my DC. Also I live in a rural county where there have been fewer than 50 confirmed cases, and only a handful of deaths. Again, I might be more cautious if I lived in a badly hit city.

Yes, sod it has certainly crossed my mind.

I'm shielding for myself too, but the thing giving me pause is the thought of leaving my dc motherless.

I'm waiting for results of an antibody test too (waves at Egghead), although I'm not sure I got enough into the (literally) bloody tube.

I'm certainly finding it harder as the weeks go on... 10 weeks and literally not set foot out of the house/garden. I'm shielding for me (asthma) and my wife is in the vulnerable group so also shielding with me (working from home)

I'm so tempted to go for a walk very early or very late, but have resisted so far. I think I'm going to wait for one of two things to happen...

1. See what happens in 2 weeks time with number of cases. All I'm hearing at the moment is how all the numbers are coming down (no new cases in my county today at all for the first time since March 11th!) which is great... but with the delay in symptoms etc I'm wondering if in fact now is the very worst time to relax and go out as I have a feeling with all the relaxation of lockdown numbers are going to rise again pretty soon - the R is already back at 1 in some areas!

If in 2 weeks time we are still heading in the right direction then I might try a walk (I'm not in a city)

1. I really want to see what happens when the antibody test is rolled out... both generally and personally. Generally it will be interesting to see just how many people have antibodies and if it's more than expected. Have we had more asymptomatic cases than expected?

I'd like to take the Roche test. The Abbot one which is available for private purchase needs you to have had symptoms recently and gets less accurate with time. The Roche one works the other way around and becomes more accurate with time. I was very ill at the start of the year - probably not CV, but had virtually all the symptoms apart from a cough (which makes me think it's probably not) but I would like to know for sure. I've certainly not been that ill in ten years and ended up in A&E on 2 occasions! I was told it was flu!

I actually had a call from a nurse at my GP surgery today, asking if I was ok, someone getting shopping etc.

She asked if I knew about the date the 12 weeks runs to which is the 30th June.

I think from the lack of anything regarding shielding on the news I imagine the list will be altered, some will be told to remain alert, making sure to check the track & trace app etc.

I can’t believe they’ve just not bothered to mention the shielding group at all!

I don't understand why we're not even really being referred to in these briefings. I mean, I have a vote. I pay tax. I contribute to society.

And even without all of these things, I matter.

Feeling so very, very angry.

Yes, this in spades. And bucketloads. And everything else. I think we have decided that we will only go to quiet, people free places for the foreseeable. So no shops, church, parties, coffee mornings, cafes etc. Walks along the quiet lanes are ok. Maybe later extended to seeing friends in our garden at 2m distance.

The lack of information (=thought and care) is very distressing. I emailed my MP about it and (after a strongly worded reminder (no response after 12 days) I got a reply from a minion which was worse than useless. I'm not sure I have the fight left in me to challenge them now.

I think I've said but I'm an art history student and I'm now hoping to focus my postgrad summer dissertation (at least partly) on visual representations of the shielded and the attached othering. I was gathering initial photos from newspaper articles this afternoon and it's been good in that I think I'll have plenty to write about but also pretty depressing in the way we are being depicted.

The shielding aspect was talked about so much in the beginning. It really did sound like they were bothered about us but as time’s gone by I really don’t think that at all.

Even if they mentioned something, that there would be updates in a week etc but nothing, radio silence!

Work still haven't been in contact about delivering a laptop. Are we just expected to stroll back in on June 30th and expect everything to be magically ok?

Last time I was in, they had separated the dispatch desks by about 6 inches and the rest of us taking 9's calls were all next to each other or opposite. No screens but we were all given a spray can of antibac. Whoopeybloodydo! Shift handover was a nightmare, only 8 on our team but the team we take over from has 15 so the room is full. I don't want to go back and get caught in the second wave. I need to speak to someone but don't have a direct line for anyone.

Still haven't left the house. DH went to his mums house in Cambridgeshire to get her post and pack up some summer clothes to post to her, as she's been at her sisters since lockdown. He also popped in to see his daughter (in the garden).

Still putting weight on, but can't figure out why. I've been keeping a food diary on Fitday and I'm eating about 300 calories less than I should be just to stay alive. It keeps giving me warnings that I'm not eating enough, but put another kilo on this week. Think I might just extend my intermittent fasting from 18 hours to a couple of 24 hours to see if that works. Otherwise I'm going to have to call the gp to get my thyroid tested or some. It's like I'm absorbing calories from thin air. I'm not snacking and forgetting. Just 2 meals a day plus green tea. Aargh. And I can't go walking or exercising as it hurts to move too much. Just backwards and forwards around the garden. Bloody stupid body.

@Babysharkdoodoodood The exact same thing has happened to me! My weight has been stable for ages and then BAM! Hello extra 5lbs! I'm calling my GP tomorrow.

Just checking back in again on my nightly "i can't sleep" routine. I have given up watching the daily briefings because I know I am sadly not missing anything regarding shielding. From reading your comments I see I am sadly correct. We are most definitely the lepers of the 21st century. We will all be shipped off to shielding villages soon to be forgotten and confined to history.

My asthma was really troublesome today. Going to give it a few days to see if my inhalers and other meds can get it under control as I really dont want to have to take another course of steroids. Joint and back pain is pretty bad too and i have been getting numbness in my fingers so i think inflammation in my wrist must be getting bad and resulting in carpal tunnel syndrome.

I am filling my time with homeschooling and play therapy for the kids. In between collapsing from pain and fatigue. I would love to just take the kids a walk. We are having such gorgeous weather and mentally I usually feel better with longer days and better weather (I suffer with SADS) but this year it feels like one long unending winter.

Then a so called friend called to see how I was and spoke to me like my Iq had dropped by 40 points suddenly and told me I should be grateful to have so much support from the government to keep me safe and I am so lucky to have an excuse to stay at home chilling out. I dont even have the energy to argue anymore and pick apart all that is wrong with that statement. I mean what support??? I had to chase up my own letter, I had to call the supermarkets and beg them to give me priority access. I have had nothing from anyone other than that initial letter from GP.

Anyway, hope we are all doing ok.

If anyone has a cure for insomnia also I would love to hear it! I cannot turn my brain off.

Good morning everyone. I've been following this thread and just checked in this morning to see how everyone is doing.

It's very sad to hear that the shielding issue is being largely ignored. I just 'miss' the extremely vulnerable group (asthma and other issues) but my Mum is in the extremely vulnerable group and I'm her carer. I've been given 10 weeks off and 2 weeks annual leave, but had a phone call last week (work for one of the big supermarkets) and apparently I am expected back at work w/c 14 June. No if's, no buts. Also everything has changed and I will be put on whatever duties they see fit (I have worsening arthritis and certainly couldn't work in warehouse or stacking shelves) and... we are not allowed to have any water without asking for a break. One of my types of asthma as cough variant asthma and it causes a dry cough for which I sip water all day long among other things. I could cry. I felt like a whingeing pathetic diet for bringing these things up. I was asked "yes, but do you understand WHY the rule about water has been brought in?"
I am not stupid. I am an intelligent woman who ended up having to take on this job due to my arthritis affecting my previous career. It was a but shit, sitting on a checkout. But it paid the bulls.

Also... it's not like my Mum all of a sudden is going to become not vulnerable overnight. We have a consultant appt tomorrow about chemotherapy. I'm tempted to tell my employer that I just want to resign. That it simply doesn't work for me anymore. I had asked about a further spell of unpaid leave to take to me the schools going back in Sept. It was highly implied that this wouldn't be allowed and I was told "the longer you stay off, the harder it will be for you to come back"

To be honest, I'm just letting off steam here. I knew this would happen. But ky question to all of you is this. And it's probably an impossible question: what kind of work from home could I do just to bring in a few pennies? Do any of you do anything like this? Absolutely appreciate an impossible situation right now. I don't quality for carers allowance for my mum at this point, but may in the future. I expect there may come a time in the near future whereby I may get PIP due to my worsening arthritis. Waiting to hear back from specialists on that as all treatment on hold. In the meantime I'm just left in that impossible situation of feeling useless, but too much of a risk to me to just go back to work.

I've had a steam of people telling me I should be grateful that I don't have to worry because we're Iberia and shielded....

So I don't have to worry that my team is actively perusing someone to replace me (understandable but sad, if just found my happy place at work and worked so damn hand for it)

I don't have to worry that my kids won't be in school until maybe September, maybe later with very little home school provision.

I don't have to worry that I was working hard to peruse an ASD diagnosis for DS before he becomes an 'adult' and not that's tucked out of sight out of mind.

I don't have to worry that our lovely new house May be allocated to someone else, I'm not sure if this will happen but it's possible.

I'm so sick of being told how great we have it when in actual fact, my 5 yr old went outside to fetch her chalks yesterday and had to negotiate 4 dead rotting rats. We can't have our doors open because the live ones come in, we can't keep the windows open because my neighbours are always burning goodness knows what while chain smoking weed, she screams the c and f words at her family and listens to rap music full of unsavoury language.
But now I feel bad that I'm moaning when apparently we have the best of it, no tough decisions to make and no risks.

I have just found this thread.

I have the letter and was told to shield. We started early and at the beginning shielded and didn't step outside the house for the first 8 weeks. Three younger children and 2 with challenging behaviour meant that I was not coping. I started going out for a short walk each day and now go for a walk of up to 30 minutes with my children being very very careful not to touch anything. It made the difference to my mental health and made the rest of shielding bareable.

I think we all have to make choices for ourselves and balance the risk. I know I am in extremely vulnerable group but I have looked at the negatives to mental health if I follow every guideline.

I am also finding that I am feeling that (hoping that) things are getting better and in my area of the country very few cases so trying to keep things in perspective. At the start I got into a few rows with family since I was 100% shielding and cautious about shopping/post etc but feel I was becoming out of touch and paranoid hence the mental health challenges. It's amazing what a difference a walk made to me personally.

Sorry so many of you are feeling the same as me, and sorry outnumberedwoman that you can't sleep. And you have an insensitive friend.

These people telling us to be grateful...

Do you think they would be grateful to be diagnosed with some kind of life-limiting illness, then to get a letter telling them they are now in extreme danger and shouldn't leave the house? Because they are likely to die if they catch this new disease?

Then, after telling us that we must stay in the fucking cupboard (to paraphrase another poster), some of us then get told we need to start thinking about coming back to work?

What, precisely, are we supposed to be grateful for here? Not being left out on hillsides to die like Spartan babies?

Someone very wise posted here once that having an internal sense of gratitude could be very emotionally helpful, but having someone else instructing you to be grateful just makes you feel diminished and dismissed.

im fed up of being told to be grateful. grateful for what? not having a normal life? not having the same oppourtunities and chances as other people? Ive been disabled a long time, since my teens and im fed up of people telling me its an easy life that has suddenly got easier because im shielding. theres nothing easy abotu fearing for your life every day and not knowing what the future holds for you, nothing easy at all

Grateful for your “generous” food boxes @onenighttimemenacestrikes. Grateful that the whole country is in lockdown and the economy in this to protect you.

(For the avoidance of doubt, I don’t mean this! Just repeating what has been said to ME on Mumsnet and elsewhere. Fuck the lot of them.)

Yes. Fuck them.

guess i dont have to be grateful too much then egghead since i havent even been offered the food boxes!! i wouldnt need them anyway but ive barely had any help at all tbh and im fed up now of feeling in limbo and not knowing what im meant to do beyond june

Not had any food boxes here either. My partners mother who lives alone, but in a retirement village has been inundated with help. 3 different volunteers shopping for weekly. Local community centre dropping off weekly hampers. Local pub cooking and dropping off hot meals each day. She doesn't need it, as her son is doing her shopping for her. And has said so. But it doesn't occur to her to tell them she doesn't need it. She's told her son that her money is piling up in the bank as she can't spend it. It's madness, as a bit like everyone cooking and dropping off takeaways to NHS staff, I guess folk are looking for what they see to be the obvious ones to help. Who are then inundated. It's nobody's fault in particular and I just hope that a lot of the unwanted stuff has found it's way to those who really need it. It took me six weeks before I could get a delivery slot. Thankfully I'm a prepper so was stocked up a bit.

Ive always tended to over buy food, stems from a bad childhood so i had plenty of food in before i got a delivery slot. Im just really fed up of the limbo now, i just want to know either way whats expected of me so i can make some decisions

If I hadn’t have had my ‘brexit stash’ we would have been in serious problems! I have help now from friends etc but it took 57 days to get any shopping deliveries and before then a lot of my friends weren’t going out at all so I wasn’t asking them to go out for me.. now we have plenty but I’m almost tempted to ask for some of the magical ‘food boxes’ just so I can then pass them on to a local church food bank who I KNOW get food to where it is needed most

Believe me, you lot that have not had the food boxes are not missing anything.