Chat for those who are shielding

[AuntieSocia1]

Apologies for the very unsnazzy title but as it suggests a place to chat for those who have to shield at the moment. A few of us have been talking on the the Shielding after lockdown thread in the coronavirus topic.

Thought I'd put this in chat as some days I'm guessing we'll want to chat about anything other than coronavirus!

I know all of our circumstances are quite different as well as the reason we need to shield but it's a pretty big thing to have in common. Despite my username I look forward to interacting with you and as my username suggests I might also slink off from time to time!

Hello @IntoTheUnknown89 - it’s tough going isn’t it? I’ve been up to hospital once to have my port flushed & heplocked; but before that I’d not been anywhere since I went to my respiratory appointment & did some shopping on the 5th of March & literally not stepped foot outside since I think maybe the 21st (think my brother got “lucky” with the litter tray contents on the Sunday...). It’s an awfully long time, isn’t it...

@Anewuser
Thank you, that’s very kind of you. Am sorry your youngest son’s had a difficult week: hope that things improve.
It’s hard reading people casually write us - & [some of] the people we love most off. I mean, lucky them for their privilege & please God may they never learn from experience... but I really hope they learn from some of the stuff posted on here, at least.
I’m sorry you’re catching it job-wise as well. My middle nephew’s teacher is shielding, which is part of the reason he won’t be going back to school. My sister is frustrated the SLT don’t/won’t see that a new teacher (school wouldn’t even place him with someone he knows) & new room & new mix of children would be more than he could cope with. Her only concern for his teacher is that she stays safe - doesn’t blame her for staying away & even my nephew gets why she can’t be in school (& he - understandably - struggled HUGELY with why there was suddenly No School). People have been behaving appallingly towards teachers during all this.

@Potentialmadcatlady
Really REALLY relieved I didn’t come across as patronising because it’s one of those things where it could so easily have sounded really awful & that would just have been so grim. I think people often don’t get recognised for these kind of achievements & you maybe need to hear it more than usual just now? Hope that everything’s ok by you.

@MarieVanGoethem I had the community nurse in to take some bloods the other day and acted as if she was a poisonous snake in my house lol. It will be very odd when I start socialising again!

in a lot of pain today and my chest has been really wheezy. Think mayeb i should have had the steroids the asthma nurse offered the other day. Im so awful to live with when im on them though, day 2 and 3 on them i get so so angry at every single thing, im awful to be around. will see how i get on this week and if no improvement will ring and ask about having them

Marie Having times where you question the shit hand your family has been dealt is completely understandable. I'm sorry you have yet to meet your nephew, and I hope you get to be with your niece for her birthday. I hope she gets her Wish as soon as it is safe.

DS1 has lots of MH support from CAMHS, his medical team's CP and via his EHCP. We have been incredibly lucky in that respect compared to others. Obviously now all via phone or virtual appts. which he struggles with. I anticipated the move away from face to face being problematic for him because he can't engage with online schooling either. He doesn't go to school because of his MH problems instead he has an EOTAS package with tutors and therapists (that have also now moved to online and paper based work) because online school isn't suitable.

I keep telling DS2 he's not missing out. It's not helped. He's definitely our household's extrovert and needs a lot of exercise. He's currently doing circuits in the garden.

I have been following the Cambridge University statements. DD2's university haven't made an official statement yet on their plans for next year, but tutors etc. are working on the basis that lectures will be online and labs, tutorials etc. will be in person.

Anewuser DD2 is finishing her second year too. I'm sorry your middle DS is struggling with the switch to online working. DD2 has found it OK, although as you say it's impossible to replicate labs, and as a science course they make up a fair proportion. To reassure your DS, most universities have put plans in place so students who don't do as well as they have previously aren't penalised for it. When DH picked DD2 up they brought everything back with them thinking she wouldn't go back before the end of the tenancy in June.

OneNight sorry you are struggling today. Maybe you could ask for a course of steroids to keep at home so you can start them straight away if you need to and aren't delaying starting them. I find when we need medication it's often at inconvenient times like bank holiday weekends.

Catching up on Boris now
Do we reckon shielding will be extended still?

@ClientQ. Did I miss it or was there no mention of us at all?

Apparently everything is great and we're moving to level 2. Maybe it's only me then that think those death figures are still scarily high. I'm glad there are less people in icu now but people testing positive is still up.

Nothing about us again. I suppose they still don't know what to say.

I'm constantly amazed by the naivety of some people...I was on a Shielding FB group (now left) who thought the Boris box was wonderful and how dare we not be deeply grateful for such a lovely gesture. No idea at all that if the Government is paying for it, it is coming from our taxes, (the common conception was that it was all provided by some mysterious and lovely volunteers and donations)and they want us to stay at home to save the NHS from getting overwhelmed, not through any sense at all of thoughtfulness for our health. It was infuriating!

It strikes me that as the country progresses through its phases, our challenges get bigger and we potentially get more isolated. Speaking to a friend today and she is looking forward to Thursday when lockdown eases a bit in Scotland. She has planned to meet a mutual friend who lives a short drive away. Just hit home that I’m being left behind with no idea when it will end. Would be good to get an idea of what sort of extension there might be so I can settle my mind

HCG2 I completely agree. The more other people get certain freedoms, the less we are on anyone's conscience, and the less time they'll have to do things for us. I've been told several times "well its just a choice isn't it? You can go out". Well, yes, I could choose to chuck myself off a cliff if I really wanted, but it's not advisable!

Hi everyone. Only getting a chance to check in with you all now. Kidney infection is not great and am worried it is developing into full blown pylonephritis as pain is quite severe. Also managed to strain my back again (have damage in lower spine) so have been resting up as much as possible. Although of course this means i have so much time to myself to overthink everything and drive myself full blown into a never ending cycle of anxiety. I am so worried about dc2 that by the time he manages to start school properly he will be practically feral and even the special school staff will just think its a hopeless situation. Thats if he even manages to get offered a place in special school so thats another worry - will he get in? What if he doesnt? Thought about trying toilet training again but i know he just isnt ready. There are zero signs that he is. He is never aware that he is wet or if he is it doesnt bother him. Would happily stay in one nappy from morning to night if we let him.
Monday again so back to homeschooling the oldest and play therapy with the youngest . Have a grocery delivery due to so i might even get to say a few words to the driver from an acceptable distance of course! Speaking to someone seems so strange these days. I actually think by the time shielding is ended i wil have forgotten all social and societal norms and will have to be taught how to have a proper conversation again!
Watched the daily briefing and couldnt believe Boris yet again failed to even make a passing reference to us. We are most definitely the forgotten people. The dominc cummings thing has raised my very low blood pressure though so i should thank him for that. As a parent of a child with learning difficulties i am so angry and upset that he is now trying to use his childs ASD diagnosis as justification for all his rule breaking. My child hasnt left the house in over 10 weeks. He doesnt understand what is going on or why his routine went out the window literally overnight. He cant communicate to tell us how he is feeling. I had suspected Corona and ended up on a covid ward and left my ill husband at home to care for the kids on his own yet we managed to abide by the rules!

And rant over!!

today is going to be a looooong day, been up all night again. Think tonight ill be taking one of my precious sleeping pills. I get 7 pills at a time and i eeek them out as i dont want to depend on them, plus, its not easy convincing the doctor to prescribe them, they dont like doing it too often. Someone please hook me up to a caffeine drip and ill try to power through the day!

I'm so angry this morning.

Everyone shouting "sod it! If DC can do this then it's ok for me..." once again, people shielding are out of sight out of mind. I really feel like we've been locked away and someone threw away the key.
My sons consultant said 3-4 weeks ago they were rewriting shielding guidelines for people with his condition, last time I heard the body that oversees them was arguing amongst themselves about it.
I spoke to one of the higher up professors from the specialist centre DS goes too last Monday and he said no one knew anything about it before ranting about the government being irresponsible and ludicrous (very unlike him ime)

I don't know what to expect come the end of June, will they just let us out to 'stay alert?' Or will we be told to wait longer. This isn't maintainable without some exercise.

Would it be ok for me to join you? I’m technically not shielding. I’m lifelong disabled with a disability that puts me on the vulnerable list. And another newer, rarer condition that there’s some debate over whether it increases your risk.
I’m normally out most days but haven’t been anywhere since March 13th. I live alone so most days now I only see my carer (once a day) and some of them really aren’t getting it.

Someone said to me yesterday “Not long till you’re out now”. They were meaning to be kind but it’s made me feel quite down. It’s still AT LEAST another 36 days!

@Egghead68 I'm in Scotland so I get out of jail in 21 days lol! If only........

Hello Jemily You sound as though you're in the same boat as the rest of us here. Hope you are doing as well as you possibly can.

Is anyone else furious about today’s news?

Me, I'm not only furious but utterly broken. I will put life on hold until a vaccine I'd made if I have to, to keep my son safe but I need to know what's going on. I need to have communication, I need to know that we've not been forgotten.
I need to make plans, tell my boss to hire someone else, beg to everyone to let us move, find a way to be a decent teacher. At the moment I get a generic "we're always reviewing the guidelines" it's not good enough.

New to this thread and really glad to have found you.

I had the shielding letter back in March. I can work from home so it hasn't really affected my job, the office closed shortly after I began shielding anyway so we're all working from home now.

The biggest upheaval is that as my DH is still working outside the home and it is difficult to shield at home when I share a bed with DH and a bathroom with him and our 3 teenagers, we decided that the best thing was to accept an offer from a friend to shield at their house where I have my own bedroom and bathroom.

Although my friend is great, it is really hard to be away from the DC. We Skype, and they pop over with groceries (keeping 2m apart) as the eldest can drive, but I really want to be able to give them a hug.

I have been out for walks, early in the morning and on paths where you don't really see people. So at least I'm getting some fresh air and exercise. I'm really careful not to touch any gates or fences etc, just in case.

We live in a rural area where there have been very few cases so far, but I'm worried that once lockdown is relaxed we will start to see a lot more here. And this will mean I'll probably end up shielding for a lot longer for 12 weeks.

For some reason today I'm feeling really miserable about it all. I guess because its a bank holiday and I'd like to be going to the beach or having a barbecue with the family and instead I'm stuck here feeling sorry for myself.

What was today's news?

I did not see shielding mentioned, have I missed something?

The news is that there is no news for us again, not even a mention. Out of sight, out of mind.

The doctor lady more or less compared those having to isolate for 14days after travel to those shielding. Apparently they will combine services to shielding people to help those isolating after travel as well.
At least the is what I took from it.
I am totally broken today... I am done.. I have no reserves left.. I have been called ‘unkind’ by one ‘friend’ on a group chat because I disagreed with her that the press were being horrible to DC and I have been told to ‘settle’ on another chat of ‘friends’ when I said how furious I was about the whole thing..
I have literally no reserves left.. I too am trying to keep my son alive.. tonight I’m going to go to my bed early and cry.. tomorrow I’m going to get back up and smile again.. I am going to come out of this with no money, no friends and a destroyed body and brain but I will keep my son alive if it kills me trying

Sorry that was a really whiny and self absorbed post.. ignore me

@potentialmadcatlady dont apologise. Thats what this thread is for. I am like you and absolutely done. The news today has just finished me off.

@Potentialmadcatlady. That’s the good thing about this thread, we really are all in the same boat. I feel the same, I can’t cure my son but I sure as hell can protect him.

Have a good cry and like you say, new day tomorrow so smile. X