Actually, I really do mind mothers of adult children being portrayed as complete idiots

[springydaff]

So many threads that portray mothers of adult children as needing discipline to behave, as though they are complete moronic idiots.

Where are these threads?

Everywhere, purple. Mothers have to BEHAVE or they're cut out.

Something is wrong with that.

Behave how? Cut out from what?

I think you’re going to have to be a bit more explicit about what you mean.

OP, I'm the mother of adult children and I haven't noticed that at all.

If I saw it I would object too, but I haven't.

Can you link to any threads that are examples of what you mean?

Like what?
If people behave in ways that damage those they are supposed to love then yes they should expect to end up very lonely.
Bullying.
Controlling.
Manipulating.
Why should anyone put up with this??

Re:

Yeah I have one of these. Like PP we have a difficult relationship anyway. I know from experience telling her to fucking stop won't change anything. Last week I even enlisted DH to take her aside and give her a manly talk since she doesn't listen to a word I say and I vainly hoped she might listen to a man (eyeroll but she is an utter sexist).

Like they're toddlers who need to be disciplined.

How would you'd feel if your kids grew up to treat you like this?

I’d probably feel that I’d need to review MY behaviour

There are a lot of people in here with MIL problems. Let them be as the MILs do sound fucking horrendous.

It rather depends if they are behaving like toddlers.

Toddler behaviour is frustrating because it doesn't recognise the separate personhood of the other person.

When adults of adults can't accept their offspring's autonomy, then there are problems.

I'm thinking of all the women turning up at the offspring's home expecting to be allowed to break the lockdown, for example.

How would you'd feel if your kids grew up to treat you like this?

The thing is, once they’re grown up then you’re both adults. So you can both speak to each other as such.

Sorry, are you plucking comments about abusive parents out of context and then claiming they were made about all parents so you can take personal offence? What are you doing?

Ooh a TAAT .. and you quoted my post! Exciting!

Yes my mother is a complete idiot. Would you like some examples?

Eh?

Not sure why you are taking it personally?

Let me guess - you have adult children who’ve cut you off?

You don't get a special pass to be a cunt just because you're a mother.

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow what is happening?

If my child ever felt the need to have a word with me about my behaviour I would be fucking mortified and clearly in the wrong

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow are the rest of us missing something here?!

Maybe the subjects of the threads in here sometimes should take it upon themselves not to behave like twats and people wouldn't need to pussy foot around them, telling them off for bad behaviour and rewarding them for good behaviour.

Have you been 'disciplined' by your child op? I'd like to hear your version of the events surrounding that.

I'm completely lost. Yet bored, so I'll see how it pans out.

Yes, SOME parents of adult children are.. less than. Of course. The vast majority did their best. With the info they had at the time.

I really do wonder how yous would feel if - when! - your children, once adults, talk about you as though as you are complete idiots.

Manipulative, odiotic, moronic.

We all know the tremendous sacrifices that go with bringing up children. How hard it is, and can be.

Why do so many posters assume they were brought up by magic? That the tremendous sacrifices weren't afforded for them when they were children?

Yes, so many mothers got it wrong. Do we all, honestly, think we're not getting it wrong too? That for all our immense commitment, some things aren't absolutely perfect?

Same with our mothers.

@springydaff I've seen you on another thread this evening as well. All of the behaviour that posters are complaining about is fucking stupid. Not really sure what your issue is. Is it people discussing the behaviour that is problematic to you? Or don't you understand why the behaviour is unreasonable?