Need don't perspective - bf has massively lied to me.

[LiesToAFool]

Around 18m ago I met someone. I wasn't looking for a relationship but we became friends and over time our feelings for each other became more stronger. I wasn't ready to have a relationship and he backed off. Over time things organically progressed and we eventually are where we are today which is in a relationship but still taking things slow eg we haven't moved in together, he doesn't sleep over etc. We've been together around 4m so not long.

Around a month ago - just before the lockdown he told me that he wasn't who he claimed to be. He apparently lives in London and owns his own business. The house that he lives in is a rental which he has been living in since he met me. His job is obviously not what he told me. Even his fucking name isn't real. He's changed it slightly as to not be identifiable. Eg Alex Rider has been changed to Al Rishton.

At first I thought he was joking but it became clear he wasn't. My first reaction was disbelief and utter anger. Why would he do this. Apparently he was fed up of gold diggers and women just after a fun time and his money. He was looking for someone who took him for who he was and decided on a whim to live / commute from a random Northern town! So all these fucking months he's been pretending to be someone else! This has really messed with my head and I was very upset and told him to leave and Ive not spoken to him since.
The worst thing was I actually thought we could have a long term future as we get on so well and he is very kind and sweet. But now I don't fucking know if he really is!?!

He was extremely sorry for what he'd done and explained that one lie led to another and before he knew it he'd woven a massive web of lies. He completely regrets it all and wish he never did this and it was really stupid if not fucking weird!

I don't know what to do. Do I give him a chance? We get on so so well. He was lovely. I'm heart broken.

I don’t think I’d be able to get over the gold digging comments. It doesn’t make any sense either - it’s quite easy to not share your income?!

He sounds like a man with a very high opinion of himself. I’m not sure if this would be a deal breaker for me, only you can know if he really seems mortified at his behaviour. I suspect though, you’ll never be able to trust him again.

Funny, I did read a thing on Reddit earlier - it’s rarely the actually properly wealthy men that are worried about gold diggers. Only those with a massively inflated sense of their own worth.

'How rich we talking?'
Lol
Not that it should matter much over the lies and deceit, but it it's highly likely that he's a normal Jo Bloggs and not at all minted.
My gut says block him and be thankful you missed a bullet. He sounds like a fantasist. At the very least, you've been catfished. You should be relived that you've found this out now before moving in, finances, marriage and kids are in the mix!

This just screams of someone with a wife and family tucked away elsewhere

@bettythedevilyouknow I agree

Btw, Little's rape comment was a bit too much, unless you feel that way?

On the other hand, you could demand to meet all of his family and friends. Go and check out his other home/s (if he has any) and ask to see his business. But, that would be weird. It's all started off on the wrong foot. He's been lying to you for 18 months, so the trust would be gone for me. Plenty of fish and all that.

He's lying.

Are you married?

Is he extremely rich? I don't really get the reasoning? Have you checked him out under his real name?

Have you seen at least two forms of ID for his “real name“?

this, the last bit he told you, is the lie.

I'd be forever doubting everything he ever said tbh.

Hell no. Block him.

I think it’s all bullshit, especially the last bit.

Why on EARTH would you even consider entertaining a liar like this for a further second? He's full of shit. He's not lovely, no one lovely would do this. He's still feeding your bollocks and yy, this screams that he's married and has a family elsewhere. Block and move on.

A simple 'You're a liar. You wasted my time. You're delusional. I deserve better than this. I'm off. Don't contact me any further. Goodbye' and then block.

@GabsAlot
Is his name prince akeem?

😂 Love it. I rewatch that movie every 8 years or so.

I would be very worried he has some sort of psychological disorder!

That is a very odd thing to do and would probably scare me.

How rich are we talking??

If mega rich, maybe it's a good reason?

I think he may be married with a family OP.

It’s not normal behaviour at all. You won’t sleep properly if you continue this as you’ll always be questioning what’s reality and what isn’t.
Plenty more out there for you who won’t evoke all these anxieties.
Agree it’s like the plot of a film - and films don’t always end well!

This just screams of someone with a wife and family tucked away elsewhere

This

If he's so worried about gold diggers and us so rich why is he renting? But aside from that run away fast! He can't be trusted.

Is it possible he has a girlfriend in this northern town, or family? Would check it out.

Apparently he was fed up of women finding out he is married and wants a women who is just after a fun time on the side. He was looking for someone who took him at face value and decided to live / commute from a random Northern town so there was enough distance between his real life and his bit on the side.

I’ve corrected his lie for him, you’re welcome.

I'm sorry but he's married