I think I have the oddest injury ever, do I win a prize?

[CormoranStrike]

I was filing my long nails down at the weekend as I read that the virus can linger under nails despite a good 20 second wash.

And I filed so vigorously that I dislocated my own finger!

That is seriously the stupidest injury ever, right?

Unless you can entertain me with tales of equal daft ness.

Punched myself in the face pulling my cardigan sleeve up. Hand slipped off the cuff and 'whack'. Black eye.

Isnt there a mumsnetter who broke her leg on a piece of lego...?

I was getting dressed in the sun room at my parents house as a teenager/maybe early 20s. They had a wood burner and the pipe went up the wall. I bent over to pull my knickers up and burnt my arse on the pipe

@grandmasterstitch that made me honk with laughter!

I’ve hurt my thumbs washing them! Definitely strained them!

I dislocated a finger by sitting down!

I also got magnets stuck up each nostril when I was 13. I shouldn't be let out unsupervised

Broke my foot falling in a hole because I was distracted by two dogs floofing around on the beach.

When I was at Uni in halls our bedroom doors were key fob operated and automatically locked when closed. In my first week I completely forgot about this fact, and tried to run back into my room to get something, running straight into the locked door and knocking myself out.

I also knocked myself onto the floor walking into a lamppost once so I have form for this level of clumsiness.

Ran myself over with a stationary car.. my bosses parked car.. on a skate board. Full on Corrie style roll over the bonnet.

Skate boarded into a stone lamp post broke my teeth and knocked myself unconscious.

Broke my tail bone skidding on laminate flooring cause I was pretending to knock a friend over.

Paper cut to my eye hanging bunting..

Burned own fecking hand doing the “no touch burny” thing.

I’m a disaster with feet.. there’s a really long list of what the fuck were you doing things.

Slipped two discs getting milk out of the fridge

Hanging out bedding and ddog didn't realise it was me and launched herself full force - big rotty - dislocating my knee...

Dislocated my thumb photocopying. In my defence it was quite a heavy book.

Paper cut my eyeball

"I also got magnets stuck up each nostril when I was 13.*

If an astrophysicist can do it...!

I love these threads

I could fill it all by myself but in solidarity for the dislocated finger, I once broke my finger recreating the lift from Dirty Dancing in the kitchen with DH.

When I had to explain the bandage to work, I told them I trapped it in a door

Sat on the floor, a lit cigarette fell from an ashtray on a shelf above my head, went straight down the back of my jeans, burnt through the back of my knickers leaving me with a fag burn on my arse crack.

Whilst opening a frozen pizza for the kids tea ,a piece of frozen cheese bounced off the packaging straight into my eye ouch

Cut my eye with a pair of sewing scissors - I was using said scissors to pick my ear and then a spot beside my nose ... and then started watching tv and next thing without realising poked myself in the eye with the sharp end . Hurt like hell . Optician said it looked like a lightning strike, about 2mm from my pupil .

I pulled a back muscle while dusting and couldn’t walk properly. I vowed never to dust again.

How do you paper cut your eyeball!!

Cut my finger watching someone peel spuds!

I was 15, dating a 19 year old who was seriously trying to impress my parents. Mum asked me to peel some potatoes, I winced, hero boyfriend started running bowls of water and tipping spuds in. I stood next to him basically miming peeling to keep my mum quiet, I had the idiot proof peeler, he had a knife, his hand slipped and my hand stopped him, small yet painful and bloody cut to my right hand. Meant I couldn’t peel any more spuds. 🤦‍♀️

@Poppi89 I was being a twat (shocker) and trying to ‘float’ some paper to someone but it blew back and hit me in the eye. It really smarted

@puds11 That makes me wince! I've never heard of that before I didn't know it was even possible! haha

I am an absolute sporner and never squeamish. But reading you paper cutting your eyeball has just broken me @puds11. I've never said it before due to aforementioned sporner level but BLEURGH. Did a full body shudder at that.