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I’m worried I’m not the dad.

65 replies

Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 19:17

Hi. How accurate are the dating scans because we’ve had ours and things don’t add up. We couldn’t have conceived when they have said because we had a week break from our relationship and the dating scan lands in that week! And to make things even more weird she said she had a period a few days after she conceived. I’m worried I’m not the dad

Any help on this please?????

OP posts:
Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 20:32

I’m happy with what I’ve been told with the dating scan not being accurate. If it can be a week ether side then I’m obviously wrong in what i have been thinking. I thought the dating scan was bang on but obviously not. Thank you so much everybody.

I suppose it just through me because it landed on the date she went out and my head just went mental.

OP posts:
Wdmclh09 · 21/03/2020 20:33

I do trust her but we had a break for a week and it kind of through me tbh when it landed on that date

OP posts:
Graphista · 21/03/2020 20:34

Dating scans are not that accurate.

Conception dates are based on first day of last period which isn’t when a woman ovulates. That’s on average (and every woman different plus conception can occur several days after ovulation) of 2 weeks later, based on a regular 28 day cycle, which very few women are totally regular because we are not machines.

I had this nonsense from ex!

The only way to know for certain, even if the woman has definitely had sex with more than one man in the same “month” is a dna test.

Do you have any reason other than the dates to think the baby isn’t yours?

My dd supposedly arrived on time based on lmp and scans, yet showed clear signs of being overdue.

“So the exact date they give us isn’t the date then it’s just around that time?” It can be out by weeks either side!

My 2nd pregnancy was supposedly conceived when ex was deployed to another continent (and I definitely wasn’t shagging anyone else) that’s the one caused arguments, dr had to explain menstrual cycles to him (he’s thick)

3rd pregnancy (dd) supposedly conceived according to their dates while in hospital having Gynae surgery!

It’s a “best guess” based on lmp and average cycle length and then measurements at scans, which are also as much an art as a science.

Nobody can say to the exact date when a woman conceived except possibly the woman if eg she’s only had sex once that year!

Stop mistrusting her and support her through HER pregnancy and look forward to becoming a dad.

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Graphista · 21/03/2020 20:36

Oops I said dd overdue - was thinking of someone else's pregnancy, she showed signs of being early rather.

Friends baby was supposedly early (by a good few weeks) but was actually more likely to have been overdue (big, no Vernix etc)

whatdayisitandotherquestions · 21/03/2020 20:37

The hospital insisted on giving us a date that would have meant I conceived a week before I did. I knew that was impossible as DP was away that month and we only saw each other for a single day (and there'was no one else on the scene) so the date they gave was impossible!

In the end, DD was a week "late" but came just when I expected her!

goldpartyhat · 21/03/2020 20:43

She's not going to admit to anything. If you are really unsure, and it's going to eat you up, do a dna test and find out after the baby is born. If you decide to care for her and the baby anyway, then there is no point.

samb80 · 21/03/2020 20:54

It's all good, enjoy your pregnancy and your little family 😊

pickletickled · 21/03/2020 21:01

fourteen days after period finishes
This is incorrect so don't calculate from here.
1st day of period is day 1 of your cycle - ovulation happens around about day 14 give or take a few days either side. I ovulate on days 12-13. Other women are different.
Like others have said if they said 12 weeks 1 day then that's estimated on her 1st day of last period but she actually got pregnant around 2 weeks after that. Sperm can live for days inside a woman's body so factor that in too.

pickletickled · 21/03/2020 21:04

Oh I forgot also some women get a 'period' around the same time as it would come normally but are actually pregnant. It happened to me so because i didn't know I was pregnant I gave that date as last period. My dates were totally wrong too until later on when they realised what had likely happened through measurements.

Graphista · 21/03/2020 21:15

@pickletickled true

I bled first few months with dd but much less than usual.

My mum had light periods anyway and so had no idea she was pregnant with me straight away! She had to be persuaded by the dr she was pregnant at all let alone almost half way.

Lynda07 · 21/03/2020 21:16

pickletickled Sat 21-Mar-20 21:01:21
fourteen days after period finishes
..........

Oh Pickle, did I say that? I will look back and check. I meant roughly fourteen days after the start of last period of course, sorry if it was me, new brain needed.

Lynda07 · 21/03/2020 21:18

Oh blimey, I got that wrong, happy to be corrected. Blush

Gwlondon · 21/03/2020 21:21

2 days!!! Are you being serious. You are the father.

The egg stays in the body for two days. Sperm 5 days. The day a woman ovulates is counted backwards from the date of the next period. (The second part of the cycle is a fixed length.).
So if you have a long cycle like me I felt like the dates were quite right.
Don’t worry. But have a word with your self.

Congratulations!

Gwlondon · 21/03/2020 21:38

Basically if you can work out exactly when you ovulate you know the week you are most fertile.

mumme111 · 21/03/2020 22:18

I got pregnant even tho I hadn't had a period in 2 years it really is a guess as they got my dates wrong a lot x

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